Thepatman

Sometimes, you have to find your own path, the recipe that works for you.
There are many options. AVRT coming to mind, or smart recovery.

What you need most is an alternative when the urge will be really hard. Calling someone you trust, posting on SR, going to church. Whatever stops you from taking that first drink, is what you need.

Soberwolf

Serenidad how did you stay sober in them 5.5 years

What have you tried besides AA ?

Thepatman

Btw, I forgot to mention what works for me. A trick on SR I read a while back.

When I really want to drink, I plan the tape all the way to the end. It always end with total disaster, anxiety, money lost, shame, anger, depression, and another painful and horrible day1.

MIRecovery

I had the same problem my first go arounds with AA. The primary problem I had was they wanted me to quit drinking forever but that I could do it a day at a time. I always had in the back of my mind that someday I would be able to drink normally and never drinking again was just a dumb idea.

When things got bad enough and the idea of never drinking again seemed like a viable solution all of a sudden AA was transformed. I heard what was being said. Every meeting I felt better. I got a sponsor and worked the steps.

I doubt seriously that AA changed it was my realization that I could never ever drink like normal people. It was a bitter pill to swallow but it was the best medicine I have ever taken

Soberpotamus

That works like a charm for me too, Thepatman.

advbike

Find a therapist who specializes in addiction. Mine is a 20 year recovered alcoholic and member of AA. He was very helpful to me and I still check in with him when I'm back in the States.

I found much of my addictive voice was simply my ego telling stories, and the book A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle really helped me understand many of my rationalizations for drinking. This is a very powerful tool for understanding where fear, anxiety, shame and resentments come from.

A brief quote:

In most cases, when you say “I,” it is the ego speaking, not you, as we have seen. It consists of thought and emotion, of a bundle of memories you identify with as “me and my story,” of habitual roles you play without knowing it, of collective identifications such as nationality, religion, race, social class, or political allegiance. It also contains personal identifications, not only with possessions, but also with opinions, external appearance, long-standing resentments, or concepts of yourself as better than or not as good as others, as a success or failure.

Serenidad

Thx Awuh! I have done the 12 steps...three times when I was sober for 5.5 years. I need a change. Talking/thinking about alcohol whether it's drinking or not drinking hurts more than helps. That's just me. I stayed sober WITH AA from 2008-2010 and without AA from 2010-2013. Who knows what the right answer is for me...

I just find that when EVERYTHING revolves around drinking or not drinking or reading AA literature or going to AA meetings etc. it's pretty darn hard to NOT think about drinking. Been there, done that...I think it's time for "me" to move on. If it works for others...that's fantastic!!!

48heath

AA dosen't work for people that don't want it to work for them.

There are other recovery methods as has been suggested,try one of those.AA will still be there if you decide to give it another try.Why go to a place that makes you crave a drink more?

awuh1

Yes, I agree. If you have done the steps and that does not continue to keep you sober it's time to move on. Time to change the plan and somehow do something different.


All the best to you.

doggonecarl

When I wanted to be sober, it didn't matter that it was hard. There was help everywhere, in the smallest thing...a song lyric, a poem, a prayer.

When I didn't want to be sober, nothing helped. Even when not drinking would have been easy.

Carlotta

I completely agree with Awuh. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different result.
Have you read your RR book yet?

CelticZebra

AVRT
RR
SMART
AA... online?
Learn to recognise your AV and don't be persuaded to quit quitted!
Forever is a mighty long time
Freedom forever
It's great
You have the tools
Hope you find something that works for you

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself

AnvilheadII

what is the topic you discuss HERE the most?

what horse might win the Kentucky derby this year?

OR

drinking?

I think with a bit of a shift in your attitude, you could find solace in AA.
or any program. start you day with I Will Not Drink Today No Matter What and see how it goes. once your mind is truly set on NOT DRINKING PERIOD, the messages you hear will change...................

fini

Serenidad,
i went to LifeRing meetings the first year or two.
and yes, being in a meeting with a concentrated focus on alcohol/drinking often left me "triggered".
so, that part isn't about AA meetings specifically but about the setting and what people are concentrating on.
what the meetings also did, though, show me, in people's sharing, ways how to deal with cravings without going nuts or drinking.
invaluable, that.
i learned really fast that cravings are basically annoying, sometimes painful, but entirely survivable.
try finding a meeting where people talk more about how to move forward. whether that be an A meeting, or SMART or something else.
in fact: SMART has a set program, so not much focus on dwelling on drinking stories.
google it.

Rina

I know I feel this way some times about meetings but I keep reminding myself that I have a disease that needs to be treated. Just as someone with diabetes needs to check they're sugar every day I need to address my alcoholism head on. Meetings might cause me to think about drinking some times but when I don't go I know I will eventually begin to romanticize drinking and slip because I'm not being accountable and doing the work to stay in recovery.

Cissy

AA isn't for everyone. I personally feel that Rational Recovery is better. I'm not a joiner (this forum doesn't really count, in my book) and I feel uncomfortable in most social settings. I think if you feel that strongly about the AA meetings, it's a no-brainer. If you're doing well and not tempted until you go to one, stay the heck away and just practice AVRT.

I'm new here but not a new "drunk." Take my words with a grain of salt if you must.

Creekryder

Don't fear alcohol, that only keeps the addiction strong. Face it, see it as it really is. It destroys everything and does absolutely nothing of benefit. Keep this fact foremost in your mind. Listen to others when they talk of drinking and you see the pain and the misery. If you have made a firm commitment to vanquish booze from your life, these conversations will only substantiate the reason for abstinence.
Each of us is different with unique dispositions on our methods of sobriety. The above statement works for me and I offer it only a suggestion for you, not a mandate.

Serenidad

Good advice Cissy. Time to try something different. AA just isn't for me. We shall see how it goes. I think I will be much better off without it...at least for now....

justinJustQuit

For me it was an excuse I made for wanting to drink. "Oh someone mentioned alcohol, I have an excuse to cave into the cravings". I'm not saying that's what is happening here, but it was the reason I relapsed a lot.

immri

For me so far the AA meetings are a huge help as people don't really discuss alcohol here, just the destruction caused by it (which I find helpful because I can relate and am also reminded how it ends up)
But definitely if it's not working for you, find another way! I seriously doubt one thing works for everyone, I'm not even sure of the steps I just like the meetings so far, so just do what works for you I think