Day 45: Check In and my Brother
 

Today is day 45 sober. I'm feeling better and better, my mind is clearer, and I started exercising on a regular basis which is helping a lot. I'm eating healthier foods and I'm motivated to stay on this track and not fall.

The main reason I decided to post today, besides my weekly check in, is to discuss my younger brother. I know this would be a family thing, but since I've been posting here about my own struggle with alcoholism I thought this would be the best place.

For a little background, I have two younger brothers, one in his mid twenties, the other in his early twenties. I'm ten years older than my youngest brother and have always looked out for him when we were younger. About eight years ago, they moved with my folks about fifteen hours away from where I currently live. My younger brother started going to public schools in an area where there were a lot of unsavory folks, gangs, etc. He was a good kid but started hanging out with the wrong crowd and got into drugs and alcohol. This was about six years ago. Now, he's addicted to cold pills, or something similar. Either way, the effect is similar to PCP or ketamine, which produces hallucinations, dissociation, and sometimes violence. He's been doing this for a long time and the affect on his body and mind is unbelievable. It's gotten to the point where he can't even hold a conversation, much less a job or any other kind of responsibility. He lives with my parents, and has been a constant burden on them. He becomes irritable and sometimes violent to the point where they force him out until he sobers up. There are times where they are afraid of him and what he may try to do. Furthermore, I'm afraid that some or all of the damage to his mind is permanent to the point he can't even comprehend he has a problem.

My problem is how to get through to him. He has to hit "rock bottom", but in his constant state of mind he doesn't even realize what's going on. My dad gave him two months to get it together or he's out, for good. I've spoken with them about their indirect enabling of his habit and they agree. Thing is, if he leaves he will undoubtedly be homeless and still an addict. Rehab is an option, and has been tried twice, but he just leaves after a few days because he doesn't care and wants his next fix. The only direction I see this going is him stealing more cold pills, getting caught and being thrown in jail. The silver lining is that it will get him sober, but I don't want this to get to that point. It's frustrating because i'm so far away and can't help directly and any phone conversation is fruitless.

I'm at a loss of what to do, I even texted him this website and told him it helps me but I don't think he understood what I was talking about. It's so frustrating that I can't do anything. Honestly, I'm at a loss as to what to do.

Thanks for reading this, it helps to talk it out.

Jayman, I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. It must be very painful to witness these struggles.

I don't know anything about substance addiction; my poison was wine. It does sound as though he needs detox and inpatient rehab.

A post in the Substance Addiction forum as well as in the Friends & Families forum may give you more experienced responses.

Well done on day 45 Jayman unfortunately it has to be him & as much as you care you got to stay focused on you

you sent him details youve had a chat with him the best advice i can give is stay focused on your recovery

i went through this myself

my brother got sober but it had to come from him

Who got through to you? As I recall, you had to decide you had a problem and only you could do anything about it.

Still, I understand a brother's concern, and your parents concern as well. Perhaps if he is addled enough from the drugs, your parents could commit him to a facility.

I agree with you, that may be one of the few options left. What facility do you mean? Inpatient rehab?

P.S. Congratulations on your 45 days od sobriety, jayman.

Great job on Day 45 Jayman!! :scoregood

As already mentioned, could anyone have told you about your problem or did have to come from within yourself?

. . . therein lies the answer I'm afraid!!