New approach. New life. New struggles. New success.
 

I never, in my wildest dreams, thought I would find myself in the position I am. I have a lot to be proud of, more to be excited about, and achievements to celebrate.

I have a job I've aimed for -- which I admittedly work to hard at. I am on my second marriage, and never happier. We have our first child due any day now.

My job includes a lot of late night meetings. Dinners which include alcohol. Meet and greets with vendors all begging for my business. The temptations are endless.

I'm a heavy drinker. It wasn't until my father unexpectedly passes at the age of 52 last month that I realized I need the bottle. I need my scotch.

I drank until I stumbled into bed. I start at the bars with friends then finish strong at home. A bottle of 15 year Glennfidich could be gone in one sitting. It's how I rolled -- and as my tolerance grew, my consumption increased.

Two weeks ago, my wife laid it down on me hard. I'm proud of her.

Despite my resume and all I believe I accomplished (MBA, high level job...) -- I was unreliable in her eyes. I didn't care about my family. I wanted to choose career over my soon-to-be-born son George.

It was a much needed gut check. A startling realization I was giving excuse after excuse as to why I needed to drink. Work. Career. Stress. Death of my father.

I'm headed into my ninth day without a drink. Today, it has been hard. Very hard. We went by my watering hole twice. I walked passed a liquor store saying "just one nip" to get my through the day.

So here I am... Wide open for feedback.

Welcome to SR!
Congrats on 9 days.

You don't actually need alcohol. Rationally you know that, I think. But you feel like you need it. That is the nature of addiction. Part of the brain tells you that you need alcohol, part of the brain knows that you don't, and the battle between the ears that no one else can see is on.

Been there, done that. There's a better way.

Best of Luck on Your Journey. :ring

You're right, you do have a lot to be proud of! And you are at really exciting juncture in life. This is the perfect time to get sober and you are doing it!

Today was hard. That happens. Think of it as building muscle; each tough day builds the muscle in you to make the next tough day a little easier. You will have other difficult days, but you are getting stronger, and they will not always seem so desperate or bleak.

Keep fighting. You won't regret it.

Removing alcohol leaves a void that must be filled with more beneficial activities and thoughts. How are you filling that void? For me, finding positive sober activities has been the key (coming up on 90 days). In the early days, many of us stay close to the forums and read all we can about alcoholism.

What gave you joy before alcohol took over? How are you preparing for the birth of your son? This is a fantastic time to get sober and build your family.

Welcome to SR, VT, and congratulations on 9 sober days.

Early sobriety can be difficult but sustained sobriety and recovery is very much worth the effort.

Your addiction is telling that you 'need' to drink. As time goes by, you will realize just what a lie that is. Sobriety and recovery is a very freeing experience; my bet is that once you have achieved it, you will love it.

SR is here for you 24/7/365.

Hi and welcome to reality.

Many alcoholics are successful and very capable people except when it comes to their compulsive drinking. We need food and water to survive not alcohol. As tough as it seems we will live our life without it and be healthy and feel accomplished.

Continue drinking and if your an alcoholic I guarantee your losses will mount up and a miserable life will occur.

A lot of years ago I got, and stayed, involved along with millions of others in AA.

It will work if you knock away any barriers you may have and follow the directions of the program.
Many resist and fail long term recovery.

Reading and posting here helps a lot as there are some great sober people wanting to help.

BE WELL

Welcome nice to meet you VT

Welcome and good for you for getting to Day 9.

We do understand how hard this is and we're here for you.

Welcome and nice to meet you. Your not alone in this, we all have a familiar story. You can beat this, plenty of help here to see you through.

Pretty much the whole time I drank, for over 30 years, I was convinced that if I had to stop, like if a doctor told me I needed to quit, I could. Funny how I ignored medical advice to cut back, or my own body telling me it was time to quit.

So when I did decide to quit, I struggled and failed. Wait, I thought, this is harder than I thought. That's when the veil of denial started to drop, when I accepted I had a problem with alcohol, and I dealt with it accordingly.

You can to, if indeed you are ready to quit. For good.

Welcome to the Forum!! :wave:

Thanks everyone. It has been an adventure, to say the least. Felt good to get a few more days under my belt..

Until tonight.

I had a momentum of bad judgment. I was at a dinner engagement and allowed myself to have a beer. The temptation to keep going was brutal. So easy to give in. I wanted to seal a deal.

I could call a cab.

I could bum a ride.

Disappointment sunk in when I realized I let my self down -- and my son. I left shortly there after to eliminate myself from the situation.

It really does consume you -- quitting. Ironic isn't it? We are the ones who consume, or so we thought.

Back to day one. I won't give up.

I'm amazed that you were able only have one.... good luck on this go around. You obviously learned something from this.