MelindaFlowers

The one drink wouldn't work for me either. One drink wouldn't do anything for me anyways. I drank to get intoxicated.

Carlotta

Ultimately you are an adult and will do what you want even if it is a poor decision inspired by your AV.
I would suggest that you think it through.
If you have not already done so, write up a list of all the bad things which come to you with drinking and all the good things you have in sobriety. Then be brutally honest with yourself.
Visualize yourself having that drink and think about what's next. Can you honestly tell yourself you will stop at one?
If you stop at one at your birthday are you sure you will not have another one or will you start thinking:
Well I can handle it
then have another one a week from your birthday and thinking you are doing so good start decide to have a few on the week ends only..... well you get the drift.
Be honest.
Ultimately the decision to stay quit is up to you. Your husband can go all codie on you and we can beg you and talk to you until we are blue in the face.. you have free will and you have the right to drink.
Do you value your sobriety or are you willing to play Russian roulette with it?
Only you can decide.
For me, having a drink would be the equivalent of cracking open Pandora's box. I just don't want to go there.

It's your decision. Good luck whatever path you chose.

Breathalyzer

Good luck with your birthday celebrations and be prepared for the mixed emotions that glass may deliver. One drink and I'd be looking forward to the liquor store the next day and starting from scratch all over again.

ubntubnt

If you are having a protracted conversation with yourself over one drink and bothered enough to post about it then you are most likely an alcoholic and this is the voice of your AV doing its job and messing with you. Normal drinkers don't do that.

Here is how I rationalise it: If I have one drink and I like it then it will make my job of staying sober more difficult as it will make me want another glass at some stage even more. If I don't like it then what was the point in having it. So either way its bad news.

carlingford

Don't do it!!!!
Think of the pain that will return when you reverse the neurotransmitter's in YOUR ONLY BRAIN... polluting it again with the poison will take longer to heal again. You are sending the wrong message to brain. Hope you make the right decision, enough said... Happy Birthday.

mavrick

What's the point in having just one glass of wine?

I cannot understand, how anyone can have one glass of wine on a special occasion.

But that's probably because I'm an alcoholic.

Grungehead

I have read too many posts here about just this type of situation and it never seems to turn out well.

Here's a typical scenario: Me and my husband/wife are celebrating our anniversary and we are going out to a fancy restaurant. I would like to have a glass of wine with dinner during this special occasion. And that's what they did -- had one glass of wine with dinner and that was it.

But you see that one glass of wine woke up the AV, and before you know it the AV was telling them that they were able to control their drinking and maybe they had overblown the whole alcohol problem thing. Then they start having a couple of glasses of wine each evening and everything is grand -- they are a moderate drinker after all. But eventually they find themselves back to where they started and wonder how in the hell it happened.

I have seen that exact story on this forum, and plenty of other similar ones. Save yourself the trouble of going through this, it never ends well.

goose333

Sarah,
Don't get hung up on labels. None of that matters. What matters is that you are recognizing a problem. I'm reading into what you said that it's slowly getting worse. So it's good that you recognize that and are doing something about it.
As far as having one on your birthday and your arguments that your grandfather could so maybe you can too? That's just your AV sweet talking you. Although it may be possible you can do that, I think it's unlikely. I know most people here can't. I can't. I had to prove it to myself before I could become serious about sobriety. Quite frankly, I drank to get drunk. There was no other reason. And I know that if I had just one, it would lead to many more and I would lose control again. I won't let that happen so I won't have that 'one' drink.

upminer

I could have and handle ONE drink just fine, however I choose not to since if I was to have ONE what's the point? It's not like ones going to get you drunk enough to feel much so I am either going to drink more to get a buzz or just not drink any. I choose to not drink any. I have had quite a few "drinks with friends" since my quit began whether it's a NA beer or a redbull on the rocks or a simple soda. No one cares what you're drinking and the only ones who will say something more than likely have a problem themselves. Take care

flutter

Those two statements don't really go together Of course you're an adult, you make your own decisions. I think a lot of us here *could* have just one- but why? When I ended my relationship with alcohol, it was a huge mental shift. I will never flirt with it again, I know the damage it can cause. I think it's great that you opened up about it here, I truly hope that you don't open that door again.

upminer

some people think they are "helping" I was threatened by my father in law last summer (I knew I had a problem, was tapering off and knew I had to quit) his attitude and threats lead me to an "I'll show him" attitude that lead to another 3 mos. of heavy drinking.... Worst part is he thinks his actions "helped"

AddictGuy

My two cents, Sarah.

It's not the second drink, or the fifth or the tenth you have to worry about. It's that first &^%$ sip. That's the most dangerous one. My dad didn't drink for 30 some years because my mom was going to take us kids and leave him if he did. But then he had a drink with me one day after we kids were raised. And he wanted everyone to think he just had one now and then, but you would see the rings under his eyes that were never there before and you would find the empties. Even after all of that time, he still didn't get moderation. Addicts never do.

NewMe11109

I guess the question I ask myself is "What is the point of having ONE drink?"

For me, one drink doesn't do anything positive (not enough to give me a good feeling) and one drink could lead to relapse which is really bad.

So, the logic of having one wouldn't be there for me.

Zebra1275

I could probably have 1 drink and stop.

The problem is, 2 nights later I would have 20 drinks. And then I would feel like crap in the morning so I would have a beer to smooth out the edges. Then maybe another one. You see where this is going, don't you?

soberbythesea

Yeah this is how I feel about it.

Plus I'm a perfectionist and don't want to lose my sobriety date.

clayton621

I will just share my expierence with a similar form of thinking, I was in a bad relationship for about 2 years. Wasn't really happy so I blamed my alcholism on that. That relationship ended and about 8 months later started dating a girl I had always like for over 6 years but had never had an oppurtunity to date. Anyway long story short, her and i were watching a movie and i thought to myself, You know im really happy with this girl, shes got wine, hell I will have a glassss. Woke up the next day and didnt remember anything, went into her kitchen to wash my face and saw half a bottle of jack daniels on the counter, chugged it, went back to bend, and that was the start of my (hopefully) last 5 day binge.

Creekryder

Here lies one of the pitfalls of alcohol—we need a drink to celebrate. We are constantly bombarded with the definition of celebration with alcohol attached. In order to establish a lasting state of sobriety, we have to rewire our brains to reject this accepted part of festivities. It is NOT a necessary ingredient to commemorate any occasion. Before the age of drinking, did we not party with out liquor? And didn't we have a good time anyway? Clear that false image of celebration with alcohol and you will move forward instead of stalling or even backsliding on your commitment.
BTW, pure cranberry juice beats the hell out of any mixed drink for that special occasion (or everyday as well!) Drink up, but not with booze.

KateL

I wouldn't risk it xxx

Ethos23

I could. I know it for a fact. I could that one day, for my birthday have just one. Problem is that I would have lied to myself and told myself I could control it. I have done that before and I would slowly start having more and more and I would be a mess in no time. For that one night, however, I would control it, be on my best behavior for myself, to prove that I could moderate. It would just breakdown the thought that I have a problem.

I would suggest looking at your history. If you have tried to moderate in the past and been unsuccessful, I think the answer is staring you in the face. I'm not talking about one night, I'm talking about successful moderation over the long-haul. It took me years to break down and admit I was powerless over alcohol. Every time I got close to admitting this, I shunned away. I felt "weak" or like I was giving up. I never give up on anything, no matter the difficulty. I re-framed this "giving up" to just surrendering to the facts. Didn't scare me so much then.

LBrain

I'm an adult, nobody can tell me what to do.

Like when my wife told me to stop drinking - it actually meant only two more, even if I didn't plan on having another one. It automatically meant two more.

And if she told me to stop again after those two it meant another two more. Nobody is going to tell me what to do. No way.