JaneLane

If you have any doubt as to whether you can have one drink and then stop, then don't drink at all. That first drink will lower your inhibitions and it'll be harder to stop so just be aware of how you feel.
My family are also quite pushy about the "just one" drink and to be honest, I always refuse with them. It's hard for half an hour, then everyone warms up and it's ok!

48heath

A true Alcoholic can never have just the odd drink,a heavy drinker can do that, not an Alcoholic.

Soberjoy1

Who wants "just one"? Not me. What's the point?

Only you know if you can be satisfied with just one. My grandfather did the same-I do believe some people can do it, but I think it's a small minority. And the risk outweighs any reward you can possibly get from a drink.

Sarahnels

What is the difference between a heavy drinker and an Alcoholic? I'm probably more of a binge drinker if there was a difference. I think the line between alcoholism and heavy drinking is pretty slim. I haven't hurt my body, just my mind. I'm not super young anymore, thirty four soon. I didn't want to grow up, I always feel as though to grow up you have to give those fun filled drinking nights up, and I didn't want to. But now I have kids and am drinking more and more as a way to cope with stress. I am here because I don't want this anymore. But I'm new to it all, and my grandfather was a very heavy drinker, he woke up one morning and just quit cold turkey... done. Is an alcoholic someone chemically dependent on alcohol? If that is true then, no, I'm probably not. My body isn't suffering from withdrawal or paws or anything. Like I said, it's confusing.... even to me. What is an alcoholic?

Anna

Alcoholic is really just a word. Don't fuss about the label.

Is alcohol causing problems in your life? It was for me, so I stopped drinking.

And, no I wouldn't choose to have one drink on a birthday. I know where it would lead.

mns1

Which is it, Sarah? Did they tell you you shouldn't or did they tell you you couldn't? Because the truth is, you can have that one drink if you choose. No matter what anyone says, you are free to do that. And from now up to and including that one drink, that's all it will be -- one drink. But for most of us, what happens beyond that one drink is uncharted territory. Territory we are not willing to risk our sobriety for. We have come to accept that.

I think you should ask yourself how much one drink will really enhance your birthday celebration? Do you think you should do it? Do you think the tradeoff between risking full-blown relapse and the miniscule "benefit" you would get if you do manage to stop at just one drink is worth contemplating?

Please think about this Sarah. We have your best interests in mind!

newhope01

I agree with Anna about not worrying too much about labels.

When people come to me and ask if they are alcoholic I always tell them the same thing.

If you are hurting yourself or someone else, either emotionally or physically, than you have a problem. If once you realize you have a problem and you are unable to stop, than you may be alcoholic. However, deep down we know when we have a problem and only you can answer that question.

Sarahnels

I just want to tell you all thank you. It's much better to hear a no I shouldn't from you, then a family member (aka, my husband). It's hard to hear it, but I knew the right answer, its hard though! After this last week, my eyes are sparkly again! But I'm also lonely. And thought, just one on my birthday. I deserve it. I will heed your advice. My friends love me either way! I may be referring back to this a lot in the next couple of weeks. Thank you friends!

tnman1967

Sounds like what you need to take to heart is that yes your grandfather was able to stop and drink some in moderation. This in my opinion makes him a heavy drinker yes, and maybe an at risk drinker, however, an Alcoholic will always go back to abusing and his her old ways. It just take a little while for some and rapidly for others. There are Alcoholics who can moderate for a week or so but before they know it they are back worse than before. So, if you know that you can't stop at one or two drinks most of the time, why even risk it. Trust me it's not worth it. Good luck.

ScottFromWI

For me the only way I was able to achieve sobriety was to fully accept that I can never, ever have the first drink. That means that "just one" is never an option - not on holidays, birthdays, milestone days, or any other day my addiction would try and tell me if was "OK". From my experience, one ALWAYS led to more. It is difficult dealing with those that do not understand that, but you must if you truly want it.

immri

Just wanted to add that I tried this many times and it normally worked that I could have just one on very special occasions, but then I'd find excuses to have 'just one' more and more on other occasions or non occasions until I'd get blind drunk again
Can you celebrate with a special drink that has no alcohol? That helped me on my birthday last year

Aellyce

Well, remembering how I drank for a few years before I quit... I don't even recall fancying one glass of wine. I would get thoughts like that, but then I had to buy a bottle. So all that one glass of wine did to me was turning off all my rational judgment, and turning on a gigantic urge. Then the bottle would be gone within 2 hours, and I'm out to get the second bottle of wine. In a "better" case. Or a bottle of vodka.

It was sort of amazing what that first drink turned on in me. And it did not even feel pleasant, I had to have more than a bottle of wine in the end in one sitting to actually feel any sort of mild satisfaction.

Your call, but if you ever felt you had problems with drinking, I don't recommend it. What could possibly be the benefit of just one glass of wine?

Thepatman

Yay!! Made my day. Sometimes it's almost like seeing someone on the edge of a cliff. And having fell flat on my face so often trying to moderate, I just want to pull the person from the edge. Rock on!!!!!

airwick

Sarah:

Don't do it. My birthday is Wednesday and I was thinking the same thing. But once again, that's the little voice telling us it's alright. I have a little over 10 months behind me and I'm not going to risk it I hope you don't either. I don't know if you or I could handle it or not....so why take the chance

Happy Birthday by the way

JadedGirl

Be careful. Personally I know if I had one it would lead to a second and a third and a fourth until I lost control. I also know that once I made the excuse of it being my birthday I'd then make the excuse it was the weekend, then I was bored, then ......blah blah until every night there was an excuse again.
If you think you can manage just one then that's amazing and enjoy it but if you have any doubts at all please don't take the chance. It's really not worth it. Much better to wake up the first day of a new age feeling proud of yourself than waking up with regrets xx

Nofearnobeer

Shooot , if I had one drink , within hours they'd be picking up 15 - 20 empty beer bottles...Doesn't matter the occasion...One drink sends me exactly where I do not want to end up..

Maybe you're different...But I wouldn't recommend testing those waters....

I hear it now.. "just one beer , awe....6 beers later....Ahhh , it's just one night....12 beers later ....It's a really special occasion , 18 beers later , this is the best night I have had in a lonnnng time , 20 beers later, etc"...Wake up with head hurting and wondering what the heck just happened!

fini

Sarah,
you might be able to do one drink.
and then, if it were me, i'd be amazed how the 'special occasions' would start coming around. pretty soon, there'd be something special with the frequency i drank at before.
but the real "problem" with the wish for/thought of the "just on special occasions" is that it keeps you forever in the waiting-for-a-special-occasion mindset. always somehow waiting for the next drink.
THAT would be torture for me. much much easier to know there isn't one in my plan, no matter what the occasion.

the stuff about "i deserve"?
if you want to deal with those thoughts effectively, check out the "AVRT explained" thread in the secular Connections section.

Fly N Buy

No Dui's, no jail, never lost job, have a home, cars....stuff. Married 31 years.......

Am I an alcoholic???

Not every time I was drunk did I have a problem, but it seemed more and more that when I had a problem alcohol wasn't far removed from the issue.

I'd rather believe I was an alcoholic and live soberly than walk around drunk daily thinking I was not. Lot's of ism in me

Keep coming back, glad you're here!

SoberLife90

Don't do it! What the hell will 1 drink do? There is no alcoholic out there who just has one. Even if you did manage to just have one on your birthday I bet you will end up having some on some other occassion. Eventually you will be drinking again, if you are an alcoholic. Is having one drink on your birthday worth possibly throwing your life away?

Tonks

Only you know what's best for you and, if you're anything like me, no amount of people saying "You should do this" is going to make any difference. Sobriety is a personal choice and only you can choose to pursue it.

Best of luck to you.