PurpleKnight

16 Days is early days, the body needs to adjust and heal, but that's going to take time!!

Push through to the good stuff, because I assure you it does get better!!

JadedGirl

Thankyou everyone I think I just get so angry at myself. I'm a mental health nurse and know what I should be doing and I can advise other people but it's so much harder to help yourself. I'm not going to let myself or anyone else down by giving in and I am too honest to lie if I did which I suppose is a good thing.
I can't get to aa meetings as my daughter is only away one night a week but I am having counselling. It's gone to fortnightly since last week though because now I've given up I found I didn't have so much to talk about last session. Feel like it's only really me that can do this and it's in the nights I need the support not a Friday morning when I go for my session.
I know I can lose weight later I just hate putting weight on. I've had bulimia in the past and don't want to go down that road again. I did join the gym but because I was a clutz and fell a week ago I've been u able to go because damaged my foot. Hoping to start again this week though.
Read all messages and they really do help, especially knowing this is normal. I get afraid because I don't want to end up with depression again (god I sound a right mess here). How I'm a psychie nurse I don't know! It's good to know this is just part of the process and will even out. Just have to try and ride it out without being too much of a bitch in the meantime! X

Jsbodhi

I'm still in bed in pyjamas, it's past noon. I have the day off and had lots of productive plans, but I forsee laying here eating ice cream all day and watching netflix while I feel sorry for myself. You're not the only one xoxo

Aellyce

Hey JadedGirl.

I'm in mental health, too! And more: I actually work on addiction... how 'bout that crazy? Oh, and I also struggled with eating disorders in the past, I know they suck. There you go with the psych ward. Not speaking of the anxiety...

Yes what you are describing is a normal pattern. If you can't get more f2f support, I would recommend as much distraction as possible. Start binge-watching movies or do something you can focus on and it occupies you for a while. Call people on the phone. Post here. You said you injured yourself... could you maybe do something like yoga? I took it up in my second sober month and have been doing it ever since. First with instructors in classes, but now I also do it at home by myself. Anything that can take your mind off.

least

It is an emotional roller coaster at first. But with time, it will get easier.

Soberwolf

The good news is you have all your sober friends to help get you through the rough times

Keep up the exellent work JG

JadedGirl

Oh haennie what a pair huh? If only our patients knew :-/
I may have a nose if there's any yoga classes my daughter can come to with me but am also gna try and get bk to the gym this week.
Thanku so much to everyone I appreciate all the support more than ul ever know and hope I can give it back when needed.
Been watching some funny **** on tv which has improved my mood a bit and reading everyone's messages has made me realise I'm going thro no different to anyone else.
Lots of respect to everyone who is struggling too and a million hugs xx

livinginhope

I woke up this morning on Day 29 and cried so hard it was like having seizures. Bad dreams, and I still feel like I have a hangover. I'm lonely and disoriented and depressed. But I feel *better* than when I drank all day on a Sunday and woke up feeling like I was crawling out of a grave.

This is hard, but on the other hand I feel like I am on an epic journey. It's like I have to walk through fire to get to safety. I do think that the worst part it behind me and that it is all downhill from here.

Notmyrealname

Early sobriety is weird because you have the habits gnawing at you still, and you have a bunch of free time that you'd normally spend drinking. The habits fade after a few months, and the free time gets filled if you fill it, which I recommend because the devil makes work for idle hands.

It really does get better. Deep breaths -- take a walk, read a book, eat a whole bag of potato chips! Just track your thinking into something else and before you know it it's bedtime again. Good luck!

Dave36

I had to cut out caffeine and nicotine it made me feel 10 times worse the first 2 weeks.

ChancesAh

I'm at 27 days now Jaded. The 3rd week was by far the worst. Craving, headaches, fatigue, frustration, stress.
Anything to occupy time did help. A couple of times I went to the movies alone after work to kill off the hours in the day - that was a help.
I also realised I had not compensated for all the calories I'd lost from not drinking. (About 600 a night from beer). That was like a starvation diet plan as it's means missing meal worth of calories my body was use to getting so probably stuffed me up more. I started drinking sugar drinks - coke for the first time in my life. Having 4 to5 cans a day; 2 at night and 1 can any time I feel frustrated. It actually helps me lot with frustration and stress. I'm also not overweight like you so maybe your natural diet was relying on the calories lost from wine - sugar hits / drinks may help.

MelindaFlowers

Remember what those nasty, debilitating, f'ing hangovers feel like? I sure do. You certainly don't want to wake up with one tomorrow. Push through.

sg1970

Just hang in there. It's going to get better. If quitting was easy everyone would do it and no one would die a horrible alcoholic death.

You can do this. It just takes time.

saoutchik

Hang in there J-Girl

I read lots of your posts and they are are terrific, SR needs you.

Like Chances i'm on 27 days and my worst moments (so far) with The Cravings was about two weeks in. It's frustrating because physically you're probably feeling better for not having the alcohol in your system and because you fell better you crave it more, I can say that after getting through it I did then feel really good for a while and best of all got several days off from having The Cravings.

I'm eating a lot too but most people seem to say that it only a temporary

You can do it

leviathan

oh boy...that first month...anger. ANGER!
it faded in the second and third month for me. although i think some of it was chemical in nature, i also think that it is part of the process. i certainly wouldnt take it back. i think i was medicating in part to avoid feeling it. and sadness. and disappointment. and anxiety. etc.
you are doing great, BTW. got access to hot bath/shower? absolute lifesavers for me. also chocolate. LOTS of chocolate... thought i was turning into a woman (said with a good spirited laugh. no meanness).

Hawks

Step one of AA essentially asks us to admit two things.

We have a problem with alcohol and we have a problem with life in general.

If life was manageable...... We wouldn't need to drink, right?

So it's two fold.

Can't manage our drinking, can't manage our sobriety problem either, so we revert to drink again.

The vicious circle.

There is a solution, as it says in the big book chapter title.

immri

Hey just wanted to say I've felt like that before too, only on day 10 now and feel not much of anything today but in the past when I've stopped the third week or so was always emotional hell for me too (so much so I rarely got passed it) and I am so not an angry person but would be furious with everyone
Also struggled with eating disorders and annoyed at how bloated I feel now too
So you're not alone and it's not abnormal to feel that way, I hope you feel better soon

Jsbodhi

Misery loves company!
I'm actually glad to hear I'm not the only one who's been unreasonably angry over nothing.
I'm not even an angry person

Kris47

A Big ole hug for you Jade. You're doing terrific. Believe it. My craving lasted at least a month. All I did was cry. I was a wreck. I shook. I was resentful. But, I was looking better. It took me to 3 months and my clarity came back and no more craving. I started feeling good. I am a year in and life is the best it's ever been for me. Of course, I was a long time drinker. You are young and still probably pretty healthy. Do this now so you don't have to be an old drunk. It's not pretty. You can believe it gets easier and nothing worth having is worth what ever you have to go through right now. I'm counting on you! You can do it! One Day at a Time. K-

JadedGirl

Thanku guys for all the replies :-) for those of you also struggling thankyou for sharing and making me feel I'm not alone in it. Don't feel so ridiculous feeling this way now, it feels more normal (not often I feel normal lol).
Lovely to hear from people at all different stages in this process too.
We will all get there eventually. xx