Weekly binge drinking from 16 to 20. Problems for the last two.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 23
Weekly binge drinking from 16 to 20. Problems for the last two.
Hi everyone,
I got drunk for the first time when I was sixteen. I always dreaded
alcohol, tobacco etc I thought it was completely irrational. The thing
that happened was that I was a shy and didn't relate to most people. I
almost didn't had any friend from 12 to 16. My "antisocial" behavior
was probably related to the death of my father and my first internet
connection that got me hooked into programming and computer science in
general.
I was happy with that until I wasn't, and started to socialize
again. I started reading books into how to relate with other people
and that kind of thing. It certainly worked, I started to going to
parties and such. And I ended up trying alcohol. I loved it. The funny
thing is that the next day I was terrified about the damage that I
might have done to my brain, looked for research that was
non-conclusive, downplayed the damage of alcohol, or said that there
was recovery for all, even long-term drinkers, if given the time. So
there I had the data to make all the rationalizations I wanted. And
got drunk like two more days in a row.
From there on I drank like two times per week, in the Summer four days
per week. My consumption went from 32.5cl of 30%-40% vodka or tequila
to the whole bottle of 75 or even 1L, and that was before even going
to bars or discos. Some times I took like 5 spirits in a row, like in
two minutes, before entering the bar.
I didn't know how to drink responsibly. My mind has always been racing
with thoughts, and alcohol provided me some rest in that sense. I
drank to get totally drunk, or I didn't drank at all. I started to
think I was being a problem drinker at 17, only one year and a half
before starting. Tried to stop but I didn't last more than two
weeks. By then I had fast recoveries, and mostly a one day, not so
bad, hangover. I vomited blood a few times, as I drank a whole bottle
in an hour or two. Made stupid decisions more times that I can count.
Following a very strong Summer, drinking almost every day.. By the end
of the Summer I started to have big 'hangovers'. Tremors, paranoia,
anxiety, sweats.. I had to drink much and fast. It was like a mania. I
tried to counteract the 'hangovers' with nootropics, which somewhat
worked. But then they started ramping up again. I tried to stop but
again, never more than two weeks sober. Finally I started to try to
stop drinking more seriously. In January 2014 I got like two months
sober, and since then I did not drink like the old ways. If I drank a
Friday I was ****** up for weeks. So I have been for the last year
drinking one time, being some weeks/1 month without drinking, drinking
one or two times, and repeat.
In the last 4 months I have been drunk two times. One in the two
months mark, and again, two days ago, in the two months mark. I'm not
experiencing a big 'hangover' even if my mind clearly doesn't work
right. I only drank like 5 spirits.
My problem now is mostly that I can't go out to alcohol-related
parties, or with my old friends (or not so friends, as they know I
want to quit, and they continue to try to make me drink). If I stay
out of those celebrations I can live without any problem, but if
alcohol is seemed by me as expected.. then I have a very hard time. I
will just go in 'automatic actions' and start drinking. I might think
about what I'm doing, and just continue. I have limited the damage
those last times by means of not going out with credit card or much
money, some times even money. But those pals offer me alcohol, and
after I took the first one, I just ask for more.
I thought that I was going to be sober for all of 2015, or even all of
my life. But I did a mistake, and failed. My mistake was thinking that
I'm able to go to reunions with friends, who are mostly heavy
drinkers, and not drink.
From now on I won't go to any heavy alcohol party any more, the same
with those pals who are completely engaged in binge drinking. I will
turn off most means of communicating with me in the weekends, so I'm
not bothered. And I will let die or directly kill the relation with
all those pals who engage in active ways in trying to get me drunk,
even if they know my problems.
Sorry if I did commit any mistake. This is just a first draft, but I
don't have the energy to proof-read and make it a readable and logical
text. Plus English is not my native language.
Why I'm posting all of this here ? I want to write what I will do, and
keep some tabs of it. I would write a diary, but I already have and it
didn't seem to work. I expect to be sober from now on. I just have to
take the intelligent decisions and don't put my sobriety in stake for
a night with some pals. Some of them I can do without, but some I
don't. So better stay home. I don't need to endure with this cycle
anymore, I don't want to continue with kindling, withdrawals, binge
drinking.. I already have put most of my career/intellect related
dreams and aspirations on jeopardy. I can't continue this way if I
want to make it in life. I have to be sober so I have a chance.
Hope this serves to someone like me to stop before things go really
out of control. I accept any kind of suggestion as how I should act or
tricks to keep me out of those situations, end my relationships with
those old pals in a friendly way.. or just to end them harshly. I just
want to go from two months, to four, to 12, to life. Sober. There is
not another way for me.
Have a good day.
I got drunk for the first time when I was sixteen. I always dreaded
alcohol, tobacco etc I thought it was completely irrational. The thing
that happened was that I was a shy and didn't relate to most people. I
almost didn't had any friend from 12 to 16. My "antisocial" behavior
was probably related to the death of my father and my first internet
connection that got me hooked into programming and computer science in
general.
I was happy with that until I wasn't, and started to socialize
again. I started reading books into how to relate with other people
and that kind of thing. It certainly worked, I started to going to
parties and such. And I ended up trying alcohol. I loved it. The funny
thing is that the next day I was terrified about the damage that I
might have done to my brain, looked for research that was
non-conclusive, downplayed the damage of alcohol, or said that there
was recovery for all, even long-term drinkers, if given the time. So
there I had the data to make all the rationalizations I wanted. And
got drunk like two more days in a row.
From there on I drank like two times per week, in the Summer four days
per week. My consumption went from 32.5cl of 30%-40% vodka or tequila
to the whole bottle of 75 or even 1L, and that was before even going
to bars or discos. Some times I took like 5 spirits in a row, like in
two minutes, before entering the bar.
I didn't know how to drink responsibly. My mind has always been racing
with thoughts, and alcohol provided me some rest in that sense. I
drank to get totally drunk, or I didn't drank at all. I started to
think I was being a problem drinker at 17, only one year and a half
before starting. Tried to stop but I didn't last more than two
weeks. By then I had fast recoveries, and mostly a one day, not so
bad, hangover. I vomited blood a few times, as I drank a whole bottle
in an hour or two. Made stupid decisions more times that I can count.
Following a very strong Summer, drinking almost every day.. By the end
of the Summer I started to have big 'hangovers'. Tremors, paranoia,
anxiety, sweats.. I had to drink much and fast. It was like a mania. I
tried to counteract the 'hangovers' with nootropics, which somewhat
worked. But then they started ramping up again. I tried to stop but
again, never more than two weeks sober. Finally I started to try to
stop drinking more seriously. In January 2014 I got like two months
sober, and since then I did not drink like the old ways. If I drank a
Friday I was ****** up for weeks. So I have been for the last year
drinking one time, being some weeks/1 month without drinking, drinking
one or two times, and repeat.
In the last 4 months I have been drunk two times. One in the two
months mark, and again, two days ago, in the two months mark. I'm not
experiencing a big 'hangover' even if my mind clearly doesn't work
right. I only drank like 5 spirits.
My problem now is mostly that I can't go out to alcohol-related
parties, or with my old friends (or not so friends, as they know I
want to quit, and they continue to try to make me drink). If I stay
out of those celebrations I can live without any problem, but if
alcohol is seemed by me as expected.. then I have a very hard time. I
will just go in 'automatic actions' and start drinking. I might think
about what I'm doing, and just continue. I have limited the damage
those last times by means of not going out with credit card or much
money, some times even money. But those pals offer me alcohol, and
after I took the first one, I just ask for more.
I thought that I was going to be sober for all of 2015, or even all of
my life. But I did a mistake, and failed. My mistake was thinking that
I'm able to go to reunions with friends, who are mostly heavy
drinkers, and not drink.
From now on I won't go to any heavy alcohol party any more, the same
with those pals who are completely engaged in binge drinking. I will
turn off most means of communicating with me in the weekends, so I'm
not bothered. And I will let die or directly kill the relation with
all those pals who engage in active ways in trying to get me drunk,
even if they know my problems.
Sorry if I did commit any mistake. This is just a first draft, but I
don't have the energy to proof-read and make it a readable and logical
text. Plus English is not my native language.
Why I'm posting all of this here ? I want to write what I will do, and
keep some tabs of it. I would write a diary, but I already have and it
didn't seem to work. I expect to be sober from now on. I just have to
take the intelligent decisions and don't put my sobriety in stake for
a night with some pals. Some of them I can do without, but some I
don't. So better stay home. I don't need to endure with this cycle
anymore, I don't want to continue with kindling, withdrawals, binge
drinking.. I already have put most of my career/intellect related
dreams and aspirations on jeopardy. I can't continue this way if I
want to make it in life. I have to be sober so I have a chance.
Hope this serves to someone like me to stop before things go really
out of control. I accept any kind of suggestion as how I should act or
tricks to keep me out of those situations, end my relationships with
those old pals in a friendly way.. or just to end them harshly. I just
want to go from two months, to four, to 12, to life. Sober. There is
not another way for me.
Have a good day.
Last edited by RandomDiego; 01-25-2015 at 07:20 AM. Reason: Reformatted text so it's more legible
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
Welcome, RandomDiego. There is a lot of support here on SR.
I think you've made a great decision to eliminate hanging with folks who are encouraging you to drink and/or avoiding situations where drinking is the focus. For many of us, avoiding such triggering situations and people is vital. It may feel strange at first, but as you build a sober life and start doing new things, you'll wonder how you ever had time to drink.
Sending you positive and supportive thoughts.
I think you've made a great decision to eliminate hanging with folks who are encouraging you to drink and/or avoiding situations where drinking is the focus. For many of us, avoiding such triggering situations and people is vital. It may feel strange at first, but as you build a sober life and start doing new things, you'll wonder how you ever had time to drink.
Sending you positive and supportive thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,857
Welcome to SR, RandomDiego, and congratulations on your decision to lead a sober life.
Avoiding or eliminating triggering or non-supportive friends is a wise and courageous decision.
We are here for you 24/7/365.
Avoiding or eliminating triggering or non-supportive friends is a wise and courageous decision.
We are here for you 24/7/365.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome nice to meet you RD
Youl find so much support & advice here
You can read & print this off if you want http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
Youl find so much support & advice here
You can read & print this off if you want http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Welcome. Yes definitely letting go of the people places and things that led us to drinking is a safe bet in early recovery. Your bond with nondrinking friends will be stronger and have much more depth than drinking friends anyway. I too started very young, getting drunk daily at age 10. Im 28 now with less than 30 days sober. You get it when you get it but the earlier you accept this and build your sober life the less damage you will deal with it. Stay with us 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Welcome to the Forum. I hope things work out for you.
I'm not sure that you staying at home is the best route towards to abstinence, if that's what you want. It's worth thinking about what could take the place of drinking in your life. What do you enjoy?
I'm not sure that you staying at home is the best route towards to abstinence, if that's what you want. It's worth thinking about what could take the place of drinking in your life. What do you enjoy?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 23
Hi everyone,
First of all, I would like to thank you all for the support and advice.
Hi endlesspatience,
I'm going to stay in home only with respect to the situations, places and people who trigger my urges or encourage/peer pressure me to consume alcohol. I suppose I didn't express myself clearly. As I said English is not my mother language, and I didn't proofread that first post.
This filters like 1/3 of all my pals. So yes, I will have to fill my social life with people who fit me better now. And also alternative activities to fill my time rather than being drunk in the weekend, and being with a bad hangover for one or two weeks. The last year I have been mostly eating bad food and napping. I don't actually understand how I ended which so bad hangovers. Probably the nootropics made it worse, or I'm especially sensitive. It doesn't matter now anyway.
I'm going to start going to the university lectures. I mostly failed the previous year, but now I'm quite better and I passed some subjects with good grades. I didn't go to most lectures this past semester though.
Now I pretend to go to every class, that will fill like 5 hours every weekday and I will also interact with my colleagues there. I will surely improve or make some new relations. When I'm home I will do 1 hour of exercise, and study.
For the weekends I'm going to start to do long bike cycling routes, I may start taking photographies also which was an old hobby of mine again.
So I think I have mostly figured out that part. Now I have to see how I sort out not putting myself in dangerous situations. One simple switch that will work for sure is to put off my phone for all the weekend. And only look at instant messaging applications the Sundays. I'm doing this so I don't distract myself and to embrace a simpler life also. I know that I will have to say 'No, thanks' to many situations and people, but to be hardly accessible will filter almost all those plans. And as I said, it will make my life simpler and less bloated.
Have you all a good day.
First of all, I would like to thank you all for the support and advice.
Originally Posted by endlesspatience 
Welcome to the Forum. I hope things work out for you.
I'm not sure that you staying at home is the best route towards to abstinence, if that's what you want. It's worth thinking about what could take the place of drinking in your life. What do you enjoy?
I'm not sure that you staying at home is the best route towards to abstinence, if that's what you want. It's worth thinking about what could take the place of drinking in your life. What do you enjoy?
I'm going to stay in home only with respect to the situations, places and people who trigger my urges or encourage/peer pressure me to consume alcohol. I suppose I didn't express myself clearly. As I said English is not my mother language, and I didn't proofread that first post.
This filters like 1/3 of all my pals. So yes, I will have to fill my social life with people who fit me better now. And also alternative activities to fill my time rather than being drunk in the weekend, and being with a bad hangover for one or two weeks. The last year I have been mostly eating bad food and napping. I don't actually understand how I ended which so bad hangovers. Probably the nootropics made it worse, or I'm especially sensitive. It doesn't matter now anyway.
I'm going to start going to the university lectures. I mostly failed the previous year, but now I'm quite better and I passed some subjects with good grades. I didn't go to most lectures this past semester though.
Now I pretend to go to every class, that will fill like 5 hours every weekday and I will also interact with my colleagues there. I will surely improve or make some new relations. When I'm home I will do 1 hour of exercise, and study.
For the weekends I'm going to start to do long bike cycling routes, I may start taking photographies also which was an old hobby of mine again.
So I think I have mostly figured out that part. Now I have to see how I sort out not putting myself in dangerous situations. One simple switch that will work for sure is to put off my phone for all the weekend. And only look at instant messaging applications the Sundays. I'm doing this so I don't distract myself and to embrace a simpler life also. I know that I will have to say 'No, thanks' to many situations and people, but to be hardly accessible will filter almost all those plans. And as I said, it will make my life simpler and less bloated.
Have you all a good day.
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