fastfocus

hi, yes thanks, that's the site I use, as I say 2 meetings a week are a round trip of 20 miles, one meeting trip I set the odometer it was 86 miles, most are average 40 miles.

fastfocus

hi, thanks, but I cant get motivated for anything, my ocd gets in the way its gone berserk since stopping drinking, ive got 14 sessions of cbt, its session 3 tomorrow, hopefully ill get something solid out of that to help my ocd rituals soon, very soon I hope,

I do like cars and messing with old cars, but that is not much good when im spending all my money of fuel to meetings, even cbt tomorrow (every Monday morning) is a 20 mile round trip.

my hobbies used to be drinking, playing pool/snooker, and old cars, but drinking came first, I had my own pool room, (gone now cause I moved house) I had old cars, (gone now and the price is herendous to buy one take a look on ebay) im not off to the pubs or clubs to play pool/snooker its too early sobriety I might end up tempted, I keep out of wet places.

sounds like im moaning but this is how it is at the moment for me.

Soberwolf

Sorry its such a distance FF 40 miles for mtns even 20 miles for cbt

Goodluck with your 3rd session of Cbt aswell FF

I thought that link might find something closer sorry

fastfocus

hi thanks, yes I talked to doctor, he suggested anti depressants, but they made me even more down, so he upped the dose, and I was even more down still, so I came off them, I told him ive stopped them, ive tried Prozac, mainly Prozac, but I tried a few others along the way, setraloine chlomipramine, loads of them I cant remember all the names, ive probably spelt those wrong.

I just get so down, worse on a morning, I know its coming too, I get into bed on a night feeling (for me) quite a bit better, but knowing I will wake up in the morning feeling like . . . whats the point. . . and I go through it all again.

maybe I manage a walk or watch tv car documentaries like car sos or top gear, or play on my playstation, the best bit of the day is driving to a meeting because I love driving. then I come home (all my meetings are evening meetings) watch a film have some super and go to bed.

fastfocus

what food do you recommend? cheaper recipies if possible, not big fancy expensive ones lol, I eat at meal times
average day is
breakfast toast and coffee (decaff)
lunch potnoodle or beans and fish fingers
tea curry and rice or spag bol or pizza oven chips and onion rings
super crackers and cheese or a sandwich with a few biscuits or bag of crisps

I drink either decaff coffee, water, zero coke

fastfocus

ive never managed this many days, not since I started drinking, that's well over 20 years ago.

Dee74

There are a lot of different kinds of anti depressants meds FF.
If your experience has been 'mostly Prozac' I really urge you to give it some more thought.

However many it is you've tried I'm willing to bet there are a lot more out there you havent tried yet

D

fastfocus

hi thanks, yes ive worked the steps, all 12 of them, and I know its not 1 to 12 then finished, its ongoing, and as far as obsessing for a drink they seem to be working

aa is for my alcoholism and for that aa is working

as for the rest of it, maybe im a more difficult one to work out but I feel very much down daily.

as said I have other issues childhood trauma, ocd, tourettes, all traits of poor personality,

the steps and aa have helped a lot, to see my part and as the case can be see my part was absolutally nothing in some cases, but to be able to feel more at ease with what happened

so then I ask myself why am I still down and frustrated

HeadLump

I'm so sorry you're feeling down, fastfocus, especially when it seems to be preventing you from really appreciating your phenomenal achievement of 5 months. That is truly excellent

I don't know how long CBT takes to be effective. Could it be that you need a few more sessions? There have been other posters here with OCD and they have helped me to understand the hell it can be, but they also offered hope that it can improve

Have you tried on-line AA? Maybe you could do this alongside your face-to-face meetings?

Stay close to SR. You'll find kindred spirits here and a great deal of support xxx

FreeOwl

Have you ever read Pema Chodron? There's a book called "Start where you are" that I found really helpful....

hang in there... give yourself some love.

Kris47

When I get up the first thing I try to do is pray and to thank God for my sobriety. Hope today is better than yesterday Focus. Do something nice for yourself.