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Old 01-23-2015, 10:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I dumped it out


I'm not looking for a pat on the back or anything of the sort. I'm just saying for the first time in forever I've poured out my beer because I'm sick of the person it's making me. I'm being secretive and deceitful and awful. The only reason i drink now is to help with anxiety but in reality it just makes things worse. I've known it was a problem for a long while. I think security in having some alcohol is huge with me.

It's got to stop because it's interfering with my life and making me irresponsible. I hate it. It causes so much stress. It may take it away for a bit but it comes back in abundance.

I don't want it anymore, and at least for tonight, i said no. I don't want that.

I wish people would understand how much i don't want this on my life and yet how it keeps sneaking its way in. I just wish non alcoholics understood a little more.

All i can do is try to be a survivor so i can help.
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Old 01-23-2015, 10:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
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We understand, genesuu. We've all been there. Good on ya for dumping it out!
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Old 01-23-2015, 10:43 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you.
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Old 01-23-2015, 10:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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We understand genesuu

Good for you in pouring it out and realizing that alcohol does not solve anything. It merely blinds you to the truth, which is that you have an innate ability to overcome life's obstacles.

Stay focused and decide what you need to do to beat this. We have your back.

More power to you!
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Old 01-23-2015, 10:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I know what you mean... I wish that they could live one day in our body and our minds just so they can have a glimpse of what we go through. It's like they think that we just woke up one day and decided that this is what we wanted. What child imagines their future to be like this? They think we make the decision because we like it. It is a disease! A horrible one at that. But we can treat it if we want. Its like a diabetic, if they really want to see improvement, they follow the docs orders, but its easier said then done. You can do it!
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Old 01-24-2015, 01:58 AM   #6 (permalink)
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For me I needed to make some tough decisions on the activities I got involved in and the people I hung out with when I got Sober, because as you say alcohol seemed to slip back in, but I realised I don't need to go to some places and I don't have to meet some people.

We have the control to protect our own Sobriety!! Keep pushing through!!
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Old 01-24-2015, 04:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I'm glad you tipped it out Genesuu

What kind of recovery plan do you have?

D
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Old 01-24-2015, 04:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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"At least for tonight"..???

If you are to lead a healthy and productive life you need to never drink again. AA will teach you one day at a time... But let's be clear, it's one day at a time, in a row, forever. Dee is asking you about your recovery plan because he knows full well that it will take planning, total commitment and all your resolve to stay sober. Are you ready for that? There is a big, wonderful world waiting for you if you are.

Read the site, there are some horrible posts today. That's your alternative. Please, read as much as you can and learn what it will take to stay sober.
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Old 01-24-2015, 04:52 AM   #9 (permalink)
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You done exellent dumping it out we are here for you 24/7 bud

you can pm anytime
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Old 01-24-2015, 05:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Drinking to cope with anxiety is like having unprotected sex to cope with the stresses of raising children. The long game is destined for failure. Good job on dumping that beer!
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Old 01-24-2015, 05:20 AM   #11 (permalink)
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The implied "plan" that this site is dotted with is probably what keeps me here. Heard at a meeting "It wasn't my Drunk bottoms that got me sober--it was the bottoms I had while just not drinking". I believe that having gone through some stuff recently and realize the tough choices have to be made w/out option C (eff-it, I'm outta here). I can't go anywhere with option C on deck so I gotta really look at what I'm wanting to run from and plan accordingly. You can do it if I can.
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Old 01-24-2015, 05:25 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I have a new job starting February. I absolutely do not want alcohol to ruin it. I'm tired of thinking about alcohol constantly. No amount is ever enough. All i want to do is let in bed and sleep all the time.

I was sober for 3 months from November to February last year with the help of AA. Had some really emotional times and personal struggles which I allowed to cause a relapse. I've had few sober days since.

I no longer drink hard liquor but i do drink beer. I quit for 3 days a few weeks ago on willpower alone but the AV crept up and said 'jeez, just have a beer ,it won't hurt anything' ... since then it's just more of the same. I won't buy any today. That is the start.

I'm considering going back to meetings even though I'm kind of against AA from the experiences I've had. Seemed like a lot of really psychotic, self absorbed people all trying to tell each other what to do. I may have been very stubborn and not open minded at the time though. For a whole i did feel a fellowship and that helped.

I also need to go see a therapist or psychiatrist to see about this anxiety. I know i have a lot i need to work through. Emotional trauma.

I'm single and not around anyone else who drinks, but it's my go to for relaxing at the end of the day. Unfortunately it always leaks into the afternoons and, when it gets bad, mornings too. I'd drink all day and sleep if I were allowed to. I just don't want to be around anyone.

Reading books, watching documentaries and such helped me bide my time in the past without drinking.

I don't currently have insurance, that's why I'm not scheduling therapy right this second. I will continue to check in here for support in the meantime. Day 1 is absolutely the hardest. After that, it gets much easier but I can't drop my guard again.
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Old 01-24-2015, 07:19 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Glad to hear you dumped the beer and dropped by for a chat with us instead of drinking genesuu. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
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Old 01-24-2015, 07:24 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Read this see if it helps bud you can print it off its very useful http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

Sobriety saved my life & gave me so much

if you ever need to talk chat vent send a pm bud
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:48 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Get a plan in place! My dumping of a 30 pack "good feeling" lasted about three days before I really wanted one again....
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:31 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Thank yall very much. I always get a little confused when people tell me to make a plan. I don't know what to do. The list helps.
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