helpwanter

I have been a widow for 8 years now. It was a suicide. I "self medicated" for a time to numb the pain. I became involved with another addict. We moved from our home town to get a new start and clean life beginning. His job takes him to different states to work all the time. He struggles with his addiction daily. He decided to quit, again, at the beginning of Dec. It was going smooth at first, I noticed he'd be short tempered at times on the phone, but it wasn't bad. He started drinking whiskey. After work he'd go to his room and have a "drink" then call me. Well his "drink" is not just one, it's like a half of a bottle. At first he'd be silly. I told him that was not being sober by switching to alcohol. He has become extremely angry at everything. His phone calls are filled with hate and accusations. I am not using. I also do not drink, I do not like alcohol. However since he has stopped using drugs and switched to alcohol he sees me as his problem. I am beneath him, not good enough for him. He accuses me of things he makes up in his mind. I am done defending myself. But I still care about him as a person. I understand the struggle of getting right and staying the course. Living in a very rural area and not knowing anyone helps a bunch. We eliminated all temptation with our move. I just don't understand this extreme hatred that is coming from him. He's gone back and forth before, but never became this hateful. This morning his text was talking about getting violent so we both agree he is not to come here. How do I handle him when he explodes? Should I even talk to him when he is calm? What does he need? He's been to meetings before. I can't allow this behavior. But I know he is suffering and struggling.

mns1

Hi helpwanter, you've come to a very supportive place.

That sounds like tought situation. I can't personally give you any advice other than if you feel threatened, I would strongly urge you to contact the police. Don't risk your safety.

Hang in there.

Charlie117926

Welcome helpwanter. This is a great place for support. There is a specific link on this site for friends and family of addicts / addictions which may help you. There are many here that can give you great advice and encouragement for your situation. Welcome to the SR family.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It sounds to me like this is a potentially dangerous situation for you. Not only is there verbal abuse, but physical abuse may result from the intense anger your boyfriend has. There is not much you can do to help him, but you can help yourself by going to AlAnon in your area. Are you prepared to leave in a hurry (bag packed and hidden) if you have to?

Soberwolf

Welcome helpwanter sorry for what brings you here

I would stay well away from this person & let them deal with thier own problem none of this is your fault and if hes even threatening violence then stay away this is not your fault & im sorry this is happening

you will find so much support here & in friends & family

How do you handle him when he explodes your not meant to no one should be doing anything like that to someone ((()))

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

ubntubnt

please be careful helpwanter, this sounds like a nasty development. I agree with Anna you need to build a support around you and work on yourself. Alanon seems a great way to start.

beach20

First. Keep yourself very safe. Then do the next right thing for you. Blessings.

Della1968

Focus on you and your well being. Keep safe xoxox

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Helpwanter!!

Notmyrealname

As a general rule, don't date addicts. Even if they are staying clean there's a host of undesirable behavior that often accompanies addiction lingering even when the drugs are gone. If it's going to the dogs maybe it's time to cut him loose. Being alone for awhile isn't the end of the world, you know.

upminer

so true. I'm finally getting divorced. What a great feeling really. My drinking problem is its own thing but the last two years being in a horrible relationship only grew the problem... When I started taking care of the problem the issues with the marriage weren't distorted and I could see what it was. Good luck