Finding your way
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 346
Finding your way
How did you choose your path in/to sobriety?
I feel as if I am being wishy washy here but sometimes I don't know which way to go. I have been to AA and while I have to admit I haven't actively been participating in group, I do enjoy listening to the groups and can picture using it more fully moving ahead. However, I do prefer the AVRT idea of this is a matter that you must control and simply say no to while living your life the to the fullest you can.
I know I need to pick a road and follow it before I become/stay a dry drunk or worse relapse but I am having trouble choosing one. I know it may seem silly but I don't want to go the wrong route.
I have really enjoyed reading this thread about people who have found a way to combine the two and think I will need to figure out a way to do it for myself. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ys-thread.html When i brought this up with my therapist she asked me why I didn't just choose one. (Not just for this reason but I think it is time for me to start looking for a new one)
Anyway, I would love to hear how and why you choose your way.
I feel as if I am being wishy washy here but sometimes I don't know which way to go. I have been to AA and while I have to admit I haven't actively been participating in group, I do enjoy listening to the groups and can picture using it more fully moving ahead. However, I do prefer the AVRT idea of this is a matter that you must control and simply say no to while living your life the to the fullest you can.
I know I need to pick a road and follow it before I become/stay a dry drunk or worse relapse but I am having trouble choosing one. I know it may seem silly but I don't want to go the wrong route.
I have really enjoyed reading this thread about people who have found a way to combine the two and think I will need to figure out a way to do it for myself. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ys-thread.html When i brought this up with my therapist she asked me why I didn't just choose one. (Not just for this reason but I think it is time for me to start looking for a new one)
Anyway, I would love to hear how and why you choose your way.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Aa/Avrt is good but i also went group therapy i saw a alcohol addiction team, i done 2 services at AA, i volenteered at a hospital, i kept a journal, I completed 2 college courses, i read a lot.... i used this & many other things to stay sober
Acceptance is key
I made a point of going the extra mile even when i wasnt asked i visited trusted friends & family all the time
I just want to wish you luck in whatever you choose but be sure to give your all to your sobriety
your doing well Axiom
Acceptance is key
I made a point of going the extra mile even when i wasnt asked i visited trusted friends & family all the time
I just want to wish you luck in whatever you choose but be sure to give your all to your sobriety
your doing well Axiom
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 251
You can only choose what you want. At first I only wanted to quit alcohol when a relapse was imminent I chose to substitute a drink. At that time my focus was such that if I forever remained a "dry drunk" so be it because to me as long as I wasn't drinking alcohol I was ok the last few weeks though it's been clear that I can change the habits and behaviors. It's going to take time and I have support from a councilor and here now... I just hope to evolve to someone I'm happy about being.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I didn't 'do' any particular method.
For me motivation is key - the various methods/approaches are ways to support that motivation...
if you want change you'll commit to not drinking no matter what... and you may find like me, that that no drinking commitment opens up a lot of other changes and things to work on too
D
For me motivation is key - the various methods/approaches are ways to support that motivation...
if you want change you'll commit to not drinking no matter what... and you may find like me, that that no drinking commitment opens up a lot of other changes and things to work on too
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hello Axiom,
AVRT is a tool. a technique. it's not a program.
AA offers a program, a "design for living, going forward" (quotation marks because i'm making it up. not actually quoting anyone)
as such, a technique for recognizing and "dealing" with your AV can be used inside any other program.
I do prefer the AVRT idea of this is a matter that you must control and simply say no to while living your life the to the fullest you can.
yes, well, i preferred that, too. must control and simply say no.
did that, too, many many times. and the reason i had to simply say no so many many times is because every once in a while i'd scream YES!. even though i didn't want to.
it was maddening. truly.
fact was, i couldn't control it.
your experience may be different.
the deconstructing and refuting of stuff the "voice" says is useful.
if you need "more" in order to live life to the fullest, there are many ways to go about it. AA is one of them.
AVRT is a tool. a technique. it's not a program.
AA offers a program, a "design for living, going forward" (quotation marks because i'm making it up. not actually quoting anyone)
as such, a technique for recognizing and "dealing" with your AV can be used inside any other program.
I do prefer the AVRT idea of this is a matter that you must control and simply say no to while living your life the to the fullest you can.
yes, well, i preferred that, too. must control and simply say no.
did that, too, many many times. and the reason i had to simply say no so many many times is because every once in a while i'd scream YES!. even though i didn't want to.
it was maddening. truly.
fact was, i couldn't control it.
your experience may be different.
the deconstructing and refuting of stuff the "voice" says is useful.
if you need "more" in order to live life to the fullest, there are many ways to go about it. AA is one of them.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Axiom,
First of all, congrats on taking your first steps. I'm a little less than two months sober myself, so I won't pretend to have all the answers, but I have some observations of my own. I think they might have some policy against criticizing any method, so hopefully this won't get censored, but since you asked for our opinions...
AA is obviously the incumbent heavyweight and had a virtual monopoly for decades. They provide a full program that includes a big social element with "the fellowship". Clearly they have helped millions of people around the world and work really well for a lot of people, including some of the most far gone alcoholics. They say that members need to stay involved with AA for life if they are to succeed remaining sober. As for me, I'm not really a joiner and I find some of their concepts to be baffling, so I have not tried the AA route.
I did really like some elements of Jack Trimpey's The Small Book, which was written before Rational Recovery and SMART Recovery splintered apart. I think they came up with AVRT and formal cognitive therapy for addiction. However, much of the book becomes an anti-AA tirade that becomes off-putting to me, although they may have some valid points in calling out AA's prior abuses of power. Rational Recovery isn't really a program - just a method, and Trimpey has gone so far as disavow any group meetings. SMART recovery still has meetings if you are interested, but you are not supposed to stay there forever, just until you get the hang of things and then move on with your life. I went to one of these meetings but I personally didn't get that much out of it, but it may help if you need support.
Some of my favorite books about recovery are from some English authors (apparently they know a little about the demon drink). One audiobook I really like is Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol. Craig Beck also has some books on the subject like Alcohol Lied to Me. These are all on itunes and amazon if you want to listen while you drive around or work out. They basically discuss all the BS in our culture and thinking about drinking so that you recognize all your rationalizations for what they are. They also promote a sort of cognitive training where whenever you have a feeling of deprivation from not drinking you attack that with the truth and replace it with a feeling of gratitude and positivity about being out of the trap and all of the positives of sobriety. I think these approaches probably work better for people who are still functional and not too physically far gone, and probably for people who live in their heads more instead of being primarily social.
So I recently quit drinking at the same time as my wife and have been listening to many audiobooks for support. So far so good. But I also have young kids and work to take all my time and energy. If I was single and alone or had a lot of time on my hands I would probably want a more group oriented approach.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
First of all, congrats on taking your first steps. I'm a little less than two months sober myself, so I won't pretend to have all the answers, but I have some observations of my own. I think they might have some policy against criticizing any method, so hopefully this won't get censored, but since you asked for our opinions...
AA is obviously the incumbent heavyweight and had a virtual monopoly for decades. They provide a full program that includes a big social element with "the fellowship". Clearly they have helped millions of people around the world and work really well for a lot of people, including some of the most far gone alcoholics. They say that members need to stay involved with AA for life if they are to succeed remaining sober. As for me, I'm not really a joiner and I find some of their concepts to be baffling, so I have not tried the AA route.
I did really like some elements of Jack Trimpey's The Small Book, which was written before Rational Recovery and SMART Recovery splintered apart. I think they came up with AVRT and formal cognitive therapy for addiction. However, much of the book becomes an anti-AA tirade that becomes off-putting to me, although they may have some valid points in calling out AA's prior abuses of power. Rational Recovery isn't really a program - just a method, and Trimpey has gone so far as disavow any group meetings. SMART recovery still has meetings if you are interested, but you are not supposed to stay there forever, just until you get the hang of things and then move on with your life. I went to one of these meetings but I personally didn't get that much out of it, but it may help if you need support.
Some of my favorite books about recovery are from some English authors (apparently they know a little about the demon drink).
One audiobook I really like is Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol. Craig Beck also has some books on the subject like Alcohol Lied to Me. These are all on itunes and amazon if you want to listen while you drive around or work out. They basically discuss all the BS in our culture and thinking about drinking so that you recognize all your rationalizations for what they are. They also promote a sort of cognitive training where whenever you have a feeling of deprivation from not drinking you attack that with the truth and replace it with a feeling of gratitude and positivity about being out of the trap and all of the positives of sobriety. I think these approaches probably work better for people who are still functional and not too physically far gone, and probably for people who live in their heads more instead of being primarily social.So I recently quit drinking at the same time as my wife and have been listening to many audiobooks for support. So far so good. But I also have young kids and work to take all my time and energy. If I was single and alone or had a lot of time on my hands I would probably want a more group oriented approach.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Plenty of trial and error was my approach, if one method didn't work it was time to change things up and try something different, rather than sticking with something and expecting different results.
I guess that means everyone can succeed in different ways, there is no right or wrong way, but I think it all starts with a commitment and acceptance of the situation, as well as a willingness to keep trying and tweaking the plan until we're successful.
I guess that means everyone can succeed in different ways, there is no right or wrong way, but I think it all starts with a commitment and acceptance of the situation, as well as a willingness to keep trying and tweaking the plan until we're successful.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
See how just not drinking goes and tangle with your AV When need be.
If you have the faculties to deal with it on that level, go for it.
If that doesn't work out, try the AA program (and I mean steps, not just meeting attendance)
No method is perfect.
On the one hand you've got some big plan and you have to battle this crazy liar of a beast that lives in your head
On the other side you have the God stuff.....
Kinda scary either way but so is drinking yourself to death.
All the best
If you have the faculties to deal with it on that level, go for it.
If that doesn't work out, try the AA program (and I mean steps, not just meeting attendance)
No method is perfect.
On the one hand you've got some big plan and you have to battle this crazy liar of a beast that lives in your head
On the other side you have the God stuff.....
Kinda scary either way but so is drinking yourself to death.
All the best
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