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Old 01-22-2015, 11:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Forgot to go to AA last night!


I was lying in bed and suddenly thought that there was something I was meant o do and then realised it was Thursday and I had missed AA!

Now this is either a good thing in that I wasn't even thinking about it or felt the need to go or is it bad and it's the fact that I am taking my eye off the prize here?

I don't feel that I want to drink and like I said the other day, my AV is temporarily dead!

My question is: is there anyone who is on here that is further in sobriety (ie years), that doesn't do AA anymore and at what point did you stop? I am not saying I am going to stop, but was curious as to what others have done.

Thanks
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Old 01-22-2015, 11:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Oh sure, many people cut back on, or eliminate meetings after a period of time. I rarely go anymore but find them helpful when stressed.
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Old 01-22-2015, 11:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm in my sixth month & while I certainly have no intentions of stopping, I'm only going to a couple of meetings a week (it was 90 in 90 those first few months). I'm replacing that time with other meaningful, growing aspects of my life - I signed up for agility with my pup, am traveling for work, increased my fitness/alternative healing attentions (I'm doing a cleanse, getting body-work, etc.).
I think you find a balance in which you have enough regular contact with the AA community to build relationship & get guidance on step work & sobriety, but also build a sober life outside the recovery movement.
I'm spending lots of time with the dog people & alcohol isn't part of that at all (or recovery). This feels like an expansion (as opposed to contraction, which is not what I want sobriety to feel like...).
I think we all have to sculpt our way...
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Old 01-23-2015, 02:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Buggirl, it is up to you to decide what the prize is. If it is a happy and fulfilling life without alcohol, it may be a lot closer than you think.
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Old 01-23-2015, 03:43 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Yes, I was in / out of AA from the ages of 21 - 35. I was never able or willing to do what was required and always went back to alcohol.

I have been sober for 3 1/2 years now. AVRT struck a resonant chord with me - it just seemed to fit me - and quickly stuck.

The years of meetings & all the wisdom I heard within them was without doubt extremely helpful in the long run and Im very glad I went.

hope this is helpful.

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Old 01-23-2015, 04:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Early on I went to a lot of meetings to hear the experience,strength, and hope of others and how,they recovered from the seeming less hopeless state of body and mind. I went it hear how the program works. But I didn't just go to meetings. I read the big book and did what it said to do soi could recover and get what they had.
Today I go to carry the message and often I hear what happens to people that stop going.
I have had times I slacked off on meetings. Slacked off to the point of not getting to one for weeks. Didnt drink but I sure wasn't happy,joyous, and free.
Today for me seven days without a meeting makes one weak.
I recently started attending a meeting at a rehab and every meeting I hear at least once someone in rehab at that meeting say they were in AA and stopped going to meetings.
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Old 01-23-2015, 04:46 AM   #7 (permalink)
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There are times I don't go to meetings but that is mostly because of life situations or I am just to dang tired but I went for the first six months, tired or not. I had to have that meeting to get out of my head. I felt better after the meeting. I needed the fellowship at the meetings.

I still need these things, but not always everyday.

Now, for me, it is about learning more and giving back.

I didn't know how to deal with life sober in 30 days, 3 months or even a year. I had to keep coming back. There are times I hear something at a meeting I had never thought of and I can use that and apply it.

I also give back because the doors were open for me. I have a commitment to my HG and I am there every week.

If time was an issue and I had to choose then I think my Monday BB meeting and my Tuesday HG would be the two I will never miss if I can help it. My classroom and my commitment were two key pieces for me in early sobriety and they remain that way today.
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Old 01-23-2015, 04:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I can never see myself not going to meetings. I go for myself and as importantly I go for others. AA saved and saves my life. I feel it is my responsibility to give back what was so freely given to me. I go to 3 meetings a week which seems to work well
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Old 01-23-2015, 04:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Old 01-23-2015, 05:01 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by MIRecovery View Post
I can never see myself not going to meetings. I go for myself and as importantly I go for others. AA saved and saves my life. I feel it is my responsibility to give back what was so freely given to me. I go to 3 meetings a week which seems to work well
^ this is about what i most often do.. 3 a week.. (8 years and counting now) i did go almost every day the first few years.
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Old 01-23-2015, 05:02 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by heartcore View Post
I'm in my sixth month & while I certainly have no intentions of stopping, I'm only going to a couple of meetings a week (it was 90 in 90 those first few months). I'm replacing that time with other meaningful, growing aspects of my life - I signed up for agility with my pup, am traveling for work, increased my fitness/alternative healing attentions (I'm doing a cleanse, getting body-work, etc.).
I think you find a balance in which you have enough regular contact with the AA community to build relationship & get guidance on step work & sobriety, but also build a sober life outside the recovery movement.
I'm spending lots of time with the dog people & alcohol isn't part of that at all (or recovery). This feels like an expansion (as opposed to contraction, which is not what I want sobriety to feel like...).
I think we all have to sculpt our way...
sounds good to me.. i like whatever works for you..
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Old 01-23-2015, 05:06 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Oh sure, many people cut back on, or eliminate meetings after a period of time. I rarely go anymore but find them helpful when stressed.

Hi.

Yes and most with short term sobriety end up relapsing AND never seem to be able to sober up again.
I have BFTGOG +30 years and still average 3-5 meetings a week, more if Im stressed.
Its your choice, going to meetings or return to misery as in so many cases.
I chose the easy, comfortable and sane way.

BE WELL
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Old 01-23-2015, 05:34 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I went to meetings pretty regularly for the first 5 years of my sobriety. I'd say I averaged 4-5 a week that entire time. Since then my attendance has gone up and down. I went one year with going to about a dozen the entire year. I believe it's the 12 steps that keep me sober, not the meetings, but the meetings help to keep me grounded and happy. What's always been most important for me regarding meetings is that I go to ones I'll benefit from. Bigbook and step meetings are pretty much all I attend now, and they've made up probably 80% of my meetings over the past 30 years. I don't feel I gain anything anymore attending meetings where people are simply discussing their problems. I can be there to give service, but that's about it.
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Old 01-23-2015, 09:50 AM   #14 (permalink)
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My sponsor told me to keep cutting back on meetings until I drank and then I would know how many meetings I needed. He is such a jerk but I love him dearly and have found it wise to pay attention to his 30 years of wisdom
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Old 01-23-2015, 12:10 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I had five years, I moved, I did not go to meeting or connect with other RAs and when life struck I drank.
I do believe that the program is the steps and that meeting makers make meetings but I also believe that (in my case at least) when I start isolating and when I stop carrying the message and connecting with others like me I am in deep trouble.
I average 3 meetings a week. Some weeks I do more, other less but when I see my meeting attendance drop I look inside myself. Is something bugging me? Am I isolating?
Because I drank alone trapped in my own thoughts, I need others to stay on track.
Now that's just my own esh.
If missing the meeting was just a hoops then don't be too harsh on yourself. If it was not for my cell phone's electronic reminder I'd forget a lot of things. I got a case of CRS (old age setting in? lol). The one thing I cannot afford to forget and that unfortunately my cell is not equipped to remind me of is how bad I felt when I drank. Yep, I have one of those built in forgetters and like you I have a dormant AV. Meetings help me remember not to forget.
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Old 01-23-2015, 12:15 PM   #16 (permalink)
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my AV is temporarily dead!
Don't be fooled, it is still there it is just quiet right now because you are doing good but it is waiting for you in ambush. Your av will always be there so don't let your guard down because if something happen it might just use that opportunity to raise its ugly head.

I am not writing this to be a fear monger or anything. Yes it is good to live a good life but you don't want to become complacent either.
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Old 01-23-2015, 12:27 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I haven't stopped AA completely but I do blow off meetings way more than I should...I am not having any trouble staying sober right now though. Personally I do feel I need a spiritual program and do plan to step it up going forward...
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Old 01-23-2015, 12:35 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Hi Buggirl - good post!

I went to AA at first because it was mandatory, through my treatment center. After I got out of treatment, I went every Sunday for a while. I stopped going because I felt that AA was not a great fit for me, long term.

I am working on 3 years of sobriety. AA was in my life for about 6 months total. That said, I do view AA as a big part of helping me get the ball rolling. While I no longer go, I like to know the local schedules, and meeting places, just to have them in the back of my head in case I need them. It's a "security blanket" thing for me, I guess.

For me, AA isn't mandatory. But sobriety is. Just because I stopped going, doesn't mean I can't go back anytime I want. That's the cool part about AA!
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