Ultramarathoner

There is a tale about these two shoe salesmen who travel to a third world country in search of new business opportunities.

One man calls his wife the moment he lands, telling her, “Honey, I’m coming back home. There’s no hope here. Nobody here is wearing shoes, so there’s no one to sell to.” He boards the next flight home.

The second man calls his wife and says, “Honey, you wouldn’t believe what I found here. There is so much opportunity. No one here is wearing shoes. I can sell to the whole country!”

There’s opportunity everywhere. When we have a consciousness of expecting the magic to happen, it will happen. We’ll find the right people, we’ll move in the right circles, we’ll ‘bump’ into the right solutions. It all starts with that opening in the mind.

strategery

If I couldn't do it on my own, I would consider rehab. Salvation army has an inpatient program from my understanding.

Dee74

I really encourage you to join a group and really use it - even when things seem fine
I remember your other thread now...you can build the life you want.

I had lots of free time too - I just filled it with quality stuff...though about volunteering at all?

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savarna

i thought that two but i had a couple of years sober. i recently relapsed and found it hard to stop again but i know its possible. but you have to want it

Nonsensical

I truly believed this at one time.

I was wrong.

So are you.

The addiction living in my head lies to me all the time. Convincing me that it was omnipotent and I was worthless was one of its greatest achievements. It is a merciless, oppressive, manipulative terror. But in the end it can only make me feel, it can't make me do.

This thing has been kicking the **** out of you for a while now, but you are stronger than you know.

You can do this.

Tally809

I'm so glad you're here. I'm new here myself- google brought me here and I'm very lucky for it. You've already made some big, good decisions, did you notice? You've decided to start living a good life and then you sought out help and advice. Huge steps- seriously. Great job!

SeekingGrowth

Have you thought about an inpatient rehab stay somewhere, for a month or more? It sounds like you are not tied down to a job or anything right now and your family has money that they are willing to spend on you. Few people are so fortunate. It would mean being honest with your family about what's going on, which would of course be difficult, but from what you've said so far, it sounds like they are very supportive. If you are serious about wanting to quit, a stretch of time in rehab may be just the thing to kick-start you towards real recovery.

helpimalive

I mean ... Isn't rehab a little self-indulgent? Like. Do people who are going to get better, ever do it because of *rehab*? Rehab seems so far beside the point. Does it really help folks? Isn't it more about you, than about where you go? Rehab always seemed so melodramatic to me. Does it really add anything?

Buggirl

You get help! You need a firm plan and support. This site really helped and still helps me, but you have to really want this. Also important to go one day at a time. You do have what it takes, we all do. I have been where you are and if I take my eye off the ball, I could so easily be back there, but if you really want sobriety, you can achieve it!

I am rooting for you!

ubntubnt

hi help.....I am in the November class, come back and say hello to us so we can hang out a little?

headcase1

What a great bunch of advise you have to your post. People do care about you.We know you can do it because we all are doing it.Giving up alcohol doesn't mean you are weak, it's actually a very powerful thing,You are taking control of your life.

heartcore

If your family is uber-supportive (and thus enabling), my suggestion would be to let them know that you're an alcoholic and how much pain this is causing you. I don't think rehab is self-indulgent; it strikes me as more self-indulgent to live with your family, allowing them to support you and pay for your graduate degree, while you don't address the incredible despair that is clouding your perceptions.

Your conviction that you cannot recover is akin to a suicidal giving up. To be honest, you sound like you are drowning in depression - it might be caused by your alcohol use, or your alcohol use could be a symptom of it. When people are depressed they cannot imagine overcoming addiction and they do not have the energy or strength to face their demons.

If you do not address the depression/alcoholism, it is likely that you will die - either by your own hand or in the subtle and horrible way that addicts and alcoholics die. I am sure that this is not what your family wants for you; you are withholding information from them which is immense and terrifying.

So, yes, I believe that every human being has the capacity to get sober. I think it requires courage. I think that depression and alcoholism drain courage away. So - every single person on this site has had to make a leap of courage at the exact moment that their courage has been most depleted.

And they did... and they are... and they are succeeding and they are falling and they are rising and they are truth-telling and they are taking risks and they are hiding...

But they are trying.

And with every single day spent trying, a teeny bit of that courage returns. And then - one day - you are actually strong enough for this to be possible...

FreeOwl

You do whatever it takes to get the support of others and a power greater than yourself to help you.

OnMyWay7

You have what it takes. For me I had to figure out what about me I didn't like that I had to keep hinding from. But for everyone it's different. You obviously want to stop - what about getting drunk do you like? What's making you go back? When you have cravings can you ask yourself "what don't I want to feel right now" and if the answer is something like "bordom" ask "why don't I want to feel it" and so on... that's what I do now - only 23 days in and it has brought clarity. Not solutions my life is still pretty much f'd up right now but I have clarity LOL

PurpleKnight

You take out option C and start doing something about it!!

None of us are pre destined to die an alcoholic, we have the power within us to make changes, to get support and turn things around!!

You can too!!

Dee74

Not sure I agree it's self indulgent but even so, it's less self indulgent that drinking the years away, surely?...

I never went to rehab but I know you'll hear from folks who did.

It can be a break from the madness our lives have become, a safe supportive environment in which to get sober.

D