immri

Day 6 today and after SUCH a positive day yesterday, today is the first day I want to drink
It's not how it's normally felt either, I'm normally very impulsive and have cravings but this time I almost feel as though I don't really feel like drinking but actually spent the early mornin convincing myself I SHOULD drink today, mainly because i don't know who I am without it? I Spent years wishing I could stop so that I could feel like/be myself again, and today for some reason I feel like part of my identity is the alcohol and my brain is telling me I need to go grab some wine before I lose myself completely
It's very strange feeling to me, I've never experienced that before even during my many relapses
I think part of it was seeing how people said they changed at an AA meeting last night, it was so positive but today I'm scared of changing that much
there's a meeting in an hour and half I was going to go to, but it's two buses away (which is fine! But i feel like I'm going to go buy some wine when switching buses)
I'm going to a meeting with someone tonight at 8pm which I feel safe doing, but until then...
Honestly trying to decide if I should go get a drink or not
Thanks for listening, maybe it helps just to get it out

Charlie117926

Get busy with something. Meeting or a big dinner. You have six days and that is something to be extremely proud of. Keep pushing forward. You got this!

SoberLeigh

Immri, your AV will tell you absolutely ANYTHING to get you to go back to alcohol. Under no circumstances should you give validation to its lies. You are in charge; let your AV know it.

PurpleKnight

It's going to take some time to break the connection with alcohol that we had for so long, so in some ways thoughts of wanting a drink are to be expected, when I realised this when they did crop up I learned to relax and go with the flow.

The difference though between having that drink and thinking about it is one is a thought and one is an action, you get the choice on whether to follow through or not.

My body/mind was addicted to alcohol so it was going to crave what it couldn't have, these I have found lessen with more time, day 6 is still early days, but learning not to believe everything my addicted mind told me was a skill that served me well!!

Keep pushing through!!

awuh1

It's very early in the process immri. Your emotions will be all over the place for a while. Go to a meeting. Call and talk someone, and post here. Stay active in your sobriety and know that it gets easier, but not all at once.

Soberwolf

Immri this is your AV do not listen to it here try this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

& http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Congrats on day 6 you stay sober today & its a week sober tomorrow

you can do this Immri

immri

Thanks guys, I definitely wasn't expecting a miracle or for it to continue as positively as yesterday, I suppose I just thought that when I did want to drink it'd be in a way I had felt before. The fact that this feels like I need to for my identity do to speak reallyyyy caught me off guard. Still trying though, still fighting that. Thanks so much for the immediate support

Jsbodhi

I'm having pretty bad cravings today too, nearly salivating at the the thought of wine..
But I won't, I'm just kinda going autopilot right now, not thinking about drinking or not drinking, just not drinking.
Maybe try to distract yourself, don't even have the argument with yourself about it, don't engage.
Keep strong!

advbike

In early sobriety I found that if I entertained thoughts of drinking I inevitably would, resulting in a relapse. This time around I had a couple of serendipitous events that led me to the conclusion that if those thoughts entered my mind I would simply banish them as "not an option". I would have anything else instead - a soda, an ice cream..

So far, so good, at 17 months.

immri

Found a closer meeting, just one bus and don't think there's a bottle shop too close, then made a hair appt,
Feeling a bit better
Thanks for all the suggestions guys
And 'not an option' isn't really even something I comdidered! I always argue with myself, I much prefer this idea
Thanks again, il check in later

Soberwolf

Congrats Immri

MIRecovery

Sobriety is about the willingness to change and God knows it can be uncomfortable. Change is evolutionary not revolutionary. Just keep moving forward and most importantly don't drink.

Six days is huge. I was told to go to a meeting every day and just don't drink in between meetings. You know what? It worked

mns1

Tell that AV to drop dead immri!