Trying Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Fort Collins
Posts: 13
Trying Again
I just wanted to say hello to everyone on this forum. You have certainly helped eased some of my anxieties as I try to become sober.
A little background information. I have been heavily drinking since I turned 21 (now 28) and could easily access the stuff. I was drinking heavily and for a period of time, not sleeping well, not eating right, and it caused a seizure at work.
It was at that point I was given two options 1. go to rehab 2. leave my job.
So I chose #1, and for the first time in my life I was free. They took my license because of the seizure but I just made due with biking everywhere. I actually looked forward to it.
Couple months down the road, and I let myself go down the slippery slide of just one drink. I ended up just binge drinking and not going to work. I lost my job and moved back with my parents for support.
They were more than accommodating, going on long walks with me. Helping me when I got super anxious. I gained tons of weight as I ate everything in sight but at least I was healthy. I got an awesome job and was doing well until I decided to play the game of roulette again.
So here I am going down the dark path of alcoholism, I am so anxious all the time, I cant sleep at night unless I drink, and I am constantly worried that I am going to have another seizure.
Help!
A little background information. I have been heavily drinking since I turned 21 (now 28) and could easily access the stuff. I was drinking heavily and for a period of time, not sleeping well, not eating right, and it caused a seizure at work.
It was at that point I was given two options 1. go to rehab 2. leave my job.
So I chose #1, and for the first time in my life I was free. They took my license because of the seizure but I just made due with biking everywhere. I actually looked forward to it.
Couple months down the road, and I let myself go down the slippery slide of just one drink. I ended up just binge drinking and not going to work. I lost my job and moved back with my parents for support.
They were more than accommodating, going on long walks with me. Helping me when I got super anxious. I gained tons of weight as I ate everything in sight but at least I was healthy. I got an awesome job and was doing well until I decided to play the game of roulette again.
So here I am going down the dark path of alcoholism, I am so anxious all the time, I cant sleep at night unless I drink, and I am constantly worried that I am going to have another seizure.
Help!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
We are close in age. I am 27 and my problem didn't really escalate till I was about 22. The fact that you are here is great. I really recommend reading widely on this forum. Don't just rely on current threads, search to your heart's galore! That's what I have done since joining and there is some amazing things to learn.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Fort Collins
Posts: 13
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome.
Having done it before I know it's a long road. I need to remember how terrible it feels so I never have to feel this way again.
The anxiety and insomnia are the worst, and the headache and cloudy feeling make each day difficult.
I don't have any face to face support, I could talk to my parents about my problem but I just feel so bad about letting them down.
I either need to kill this madness or its going to end up killing me!
Having done it before I know it's a long road. I need to remember how terrible it feels so I never have to feel this way again.
The anxiety and insomnia are the worst, and the headache and cloudy feeling make each day difficult.
I don't have any face to face support, I could talk to my parents about my problem but I just feel so bad about letting them down.
I either need to kill this madness or its going to end up killing me!
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Hi Secondchance,
You remind me of myself to some degree.
We are the exact same age, and I too have ended up back with my parents after going down the wrong path in the first half of my 20s. And like yours, my parents are very supportive of me.
I'm glad you're here, because we are going to help you figure this out.
More power to you!
You remind me of myself to some degree.
We are the exact same age, and I too have ended up back with my parents after going down the wrong path in the first half of my 20s. And like yours, my parents are very supportive of me.
I'm glad you're here, because we are going to help you figure this out.
More power to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Fort Collins
Posts: 13
So I laid down and had a nap this evening. Woke up with my heart racing and a huge amount of anxiety.
I have the craving to get into the bottle to help me calm down and sleep tonight.
I feel like it would be better for me to have a restless nights sleep tomorrow and Saturday then start today.
Thoughts?
I have the craving to get into the bottle to help me calm down and sleep tonight.
I feel like it would be better for me to have a restless nights sleep tomorrow and Saturday then start today.
Thoughts?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Fort Collins
Posts: 13
Thanks SoberLeigh, I am making myself some calming tea and and just going to ride it out.
The sooner the better right?
I will keep you all informed, I am so glad to be a part of this place.
The sooner the better right?
I will keep you all informed, I am so glad to be a part of this place.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,326
Welcome!
Everyone's experience is different, but I thought I'd share mine with anxiety. I definitely drank (and have for years) to keep anxiety at bay. What I didn't realize until I became sober was that the drinking was causing anxiety too. A vicious cycle: I was anxious and drank, which made me anxious, which made me drink more...you get the ugly picture.
The first month in particular was tough, I won't lie. I went to bed early--a lot. But once I got through that, the cloud of anxiety that had been shadowing me most of my adult life lifted. I still have some bad days, but nothing like before. And sleep! Sober sleep is the best.
So stick with it: it does get better!
PS: One thing that I'd do sometimes is listen to relaxation tapes or podcasts. Even if I couldn't sleep it would help settle my mind.
Everyone's experience is different, but I thought I'd share mine with anxiety. I definitely drank (and have for years) to keep anxiety at bay. What I didn't realize until I became sober was that the drinking was causing anxiety too. A vicious cycle: I was anxious and drank, which made me anxious, which made me drink more...you get the ugly picture.
The first month in particular was tough, I won't lie. I went to bed early--a lot. But once I got through that, the cloud of anxiety that had been shadowing me most of my adult life lifted. I still have some bad days, but nothing like before. And sleep! Sober sleep is the best.
So stick with it: it does get better!
PS: One thing that I'd do sometimes is listen to relaxation tapes or podcasts. Even if I couldn't sleep it would help settle my mind.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Fort Collins
Posts: 13
Thanks matilda123,
I know that viscous cycle of anxiety and drinking all to well...
Sober sleep is indeed the best sleep, and even when you aren't feeling 100% the next day you don't have to constantly question if your still drunk etc.
It is truly getting past this initial hurdle to be successful. It is crazy how we let ourselves ever get back to square one. Why would you ever want to go back to anxiety, insomnia, and withdrawals?
I know that viscous cycle of anxiety and drinking all to well...
Sober sleep is indeed the best sleep, and even when you aren't feeling 100% the next day you don't have to constantly question if your still drunk etc.
It is truly getting past this initial hurdle to be successful. It is crazy how we let ourselves ever get back to square one. Why would you ever want to go back to anxiety, insomnia, and withdrawals?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,326
Originally Posted by Secondhance 
. It is crazy how we let ourselves ever get back to square one. Why would you ever want to go back to anxiety, insomnia, and withdrawals?
You are doing great, Secondhance
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by matilda123
Welcome!
Everyone's experience is different, but I thought I'd share mine with anxiety. I definitely drank (and have for years) to keep anxiety at bay. What I didn't realize until I became sober was that the drinking was causing anxiety too. A vicious cycle: I was anxious and drank, which made me anxious, which made me drink more...you get the ugly picture.
The first month in particular was tough, I won't lie. I went to bed early--a lot. But once I got through that, the cloud of anxiety that had been shadowing me most of my adult life lifted. I still have some bad days, but nothing like before. And sleep! Sober sleep is the best.
So stick with it: it does get better!
PS: One thing that I'd do sometimes is listen to relaxation tapes or podcasts. Even if I couldn't sleep it would help settle my mind.
Everyone's experience is different, but I thought I'd share mine with anxiety. I definitely drank (and have for years) to keep anxiety at bay. What I didn't realize until I became sober was that the drinking was causing anxiety too. A vicious cycle: I was anxious and drank, which made me anxious, which made me drink more...you get the ugly picture.
The first month in particular was tough, I won't lie. I went to bed early--a lot. But once I got through that, the cloud of anxiety that had been shadowing me most of my adult life lifted. I still have some bad days, but nothing like before. And sleep! Sober sleep is the best.
So stick with it: it does get better!
PS: One thing that I'd do sometimes is listen to relaxation tapes or podcasts. Even if I couldn't sleep it would help settle my mind.
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