Gradual progress...
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 174
Gradual progress...
Ok, not sure where to start. Basically, I'd count myself as a problem drinker for about 4 years now.
But when I first moved to Thailand, I seriously went on the rails. Not going to go into detail, but this time last year, I stayed at a Buddhist monastery for 2 months. Stayed sober during all that time, and later, in August, I moved to Chiang Rai and since then have been several orders of magnitudes happier than I have been, making friends quite easily, spent time in the beautiful places that surround this amazing place, doing things like cross-country runs a lot. Thus it was that my drinking calmed down more and more, and by November this year, I had it down to Fridays only - felt pretty settled in myself.
And after New Years in Pai, I resolved to go drink-free, smoke-free and vegetarian. The last part, I've managed to do consistently (along with doing a cross-country run most evenings, after work).
But with the other two, sadly I had a relapse over this week. Started by just having a couple on Friday night last week, then ended up being 2 or 3 every day (it's now 6pm local time Thursday in CR). Can feel the progress I made being undone. Kind of finding it hard to contain the urge to drink now - not entirely sure what triggered it, but feeling a bit bad about myself.
But hoping to keep clean at least for the rest of this month. And got a long weekend from tomorrow, so hoping not to give myself the chance to sit on my own and drink - I'm planning to get on the motorbike, drive to Pai and do a 2 day rafting trip. Hoping that should pull me out of this nosedive.
Anyways that's basically it - slight relapse, hoping to get back up to where I was less than a week ago. These things happen, I guess.
But when I first moved to Thailand, I seriously went on the rails. Not going to go into detail, but this time last year, I stayed at a Buddhist monastery for 2 months. Stayed sober during all that time, and later, in August, I moved to Chiang Rai and since then have been several orders of magnitudes happier than I have been, making friends quite easily, spent time in the beautiful places that surround this amazing place, doing things like cross-country runs a lot. Thus it was that my drinking calmed down more and more, and by November this year, I had it down to Fridays only - felt pretty settled in myself.
And after New Years in Pai, I resolved to go drink-free, smoke-free and vegetarian. The last part, I've managed to do consistently (along with doing a cross-country run most evenings, after work).
But with the other two, sadly I had a relapse over this week. Started by just having a couple on Friday night last week, then ended up being 2 or 3 every day (it's now 6pm local time Thursday in CR). Can feel the progress I made being undone. Kind of finding it hard to contain the urge to drink now - not entirely sure what triggered it, but feeling a bit bad about myself.
But hoping to keep clean at least for the rest of this month. And got a long weekend from tomorrow, so hoping not to give myself the chance to sit on my own and drink - I'm planning to get on the motorbike, drive to Pai and do a 2 day rafting trip. Hoping that should pull me out of this nosedive.
Anyways that's basically it - slight relapse, hoping to get back up to where I was less than a week ago. These things happen, I guess.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Hi Aga, your stay at the Monastery sounds amazing I'd love to do that one day.
Everyone has different experiences but it can sometimes be very hard to make a lot of changes at once especially cutting out smoking and drinking, too much "change" can sometimes lead to a relapse. I've managed to stop both and a past history of drug use but I've done these at different times ( I'm also a very long term vegetarian now vegan and a runner lol so your post totally clicked with me lol) . I've stopped drugs coming up for three years ago, most of last year I was sober with a couple of relapses and am now coming up to 80 days sober and on day 22 nicotine free, it's not easy as as soon as I've added a new "quit" in its made the others even harder but I'm getting there now so it can be done.It's great that you are going for them all at once and I know for some people making all the changes at once is easier but if you are struggling a bit pick ONE just now and concentrate on that until you've got it really under control before you add in another. I know for me just now it's the alcohol that's the most important (drug use completely gone now) so if I had a choice between drinking again or smoking I'd have a cig rather than relapse with a alcohol. Hope this helps a bit and please let us know how you are getting on. Peace X
Everyone has different experiences but it can sometimes be very hard to make a lot of changes at once especially cutting out smoking and drinking, too much "change" can sometimes lead to a relapse. I've managed to stop both and a past history of drug use but I've done these at different times ( I'm also a very long term vegetarian now vegan and a runner lol so your post totally clicked with me lol) . I've stopped drugs coming up for three years ago, most of last year I was sober with a couple of relapses and am now coming up to 80 days sober and on day 22 nicotine free, it's not easy as as soon as I've added a new "quit" in its made the others even harder but I'm getting there now so it can be done.It's great that you are going for them all at once and I know for some people making all the changes at once is easier but if you are struggling a bit pick ONE just now and concentrate on that until you've got it really under control before you add in another. I know for me just now it's the alcohol that's the most important (drug use completely gone now) so if I had a choice between drinking again or smoking I'd have a cig rather than relapse with a alcohol. Hope this helps a bit and please let us know how you are getting on. Peace X
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
If you are an alcoholic, you can't have a couple of drinks on just one day. As you see, it ended up being 2 or 3 a day. It seems to me that you are trying to give up everything at once-meat, smoking and drinking. I would suggest working on one thing at a time. Just the drinking for now.
You have a good plan for the weekend. You can't un-ring the bell so feeling bad about yourself isn't going to be helpful. You have done it before and you can do it again.
You have a good plan for the weekend. You can't un-ring the bell so feeling bad about yourself isn't going to be helpful. You have done it before and you can do it again.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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I'm not convinced I am an alcoholic per se - until about 4 years ago, my drinking wasn't a problem - and before this month, I'd got it down to friday nights only for a while, and did that no problem. I'd definitely say though that I have a dependency issue when it comes to booze.
Just not sure whats convinced this relapse. In this case it did start last friday night, then ended up rolling into drinking after that. A lot like you, Peace, I just seem to have several dependency issues, many different defilements etc- something I did work on at the monastery (after which things definitely improved) - we get a huge amount of holiday from March-time onwards (Thai government schools get about 8 weeks holiday for the Songkran period), so I'm probably going to go back there.
It's the most amazing place ever - you can stay however long you want, in return for a donation of whatever you feel's appropriate. It's called Wat Tam Wua, about 40 klicks from Mae Hong Son (takes about 5 or 6 hours to get there from Chiang Mai). Got its own website if you want more info about staying there. I felt like a different person after my time there. Intensive practice of meditation, vegetarian food at lunchtime etc.
Like you say, it can be done, I know it can be done, and at the moment I'm definitely in the right place, where I need to be. More healed than I've been for a long, long time (took a long journey, living in many differnet places in Thai, but after a year and a half, when I arrived in Chiang Rai, it really, REALLY came together).
Did it before, can do it again - up till now I've been sober for weeks straight, something that never used to happen before. And smoking pretty much went hand in hand with drinking, so giving both up at the same time isn't the issue - it's the habit.
No problems really staying vegetarian - apart from occasional cravings for Gaeng Hang Lae (Northern Thai/Burmese curry, made from HUGE chunks of stewed pork, ginger, molasses and spices, of which a woman at my local food market does an excellent one), don't really miss meat that much - you can get Som Tam (spicy shredded papaya, tomato, peanut, string bean & chilli salad, with a bit of crab thrown in) on every street corner, and found two places near my work that serve amazing Thai vegetarian food (considering it's the second most strongly Buddhist country behind Cambodia, it's not that easy to be vegetarian here, as everyone seems to eat meat!)
Just not sure whats convinced this relapse. In this case it did start last friday night, then ended up rolling into drinking after that. A lot like you, Peace, I just seem to have several dependency issues, many different defilements etc- something I did work on at the monastery (after which things definitely improved) - we get a huge amount of holiday from March-time onwards (Thai government schools get about 8 weeks holiday for the Songkran period), so I'm probably going to go back there.
It's the most amazing place ever - you can stay however long you want, in return for a donation of whatever you feel's appropriate. It's called Wat Tam Wua, about 40 klicks from Mae Hong Son (takes about 5 or 6 hours to get there from Chiang Mai). Got its own website if you want more info about staying there. I felt like a different person after my time there. Intensive practice of meditation, vegetarian food at lunchtime etc.
Like you say, it can be done, I know it can be done, and at the moment I'm definitely in the right place, where I need to be. More healed than I've been for a long, long time (took a long journey, living in many differnet places in Thai, but after a year and a half, when I arrived in Chiang Rai, it really, REALLY came together).
Did it before, can do it again - up till now I've been sober for weeks straight, something that never used to happen before. And smoking pretty much went hand in hand with drinking, so giving both up at the same time isn't the issue - it's the habit.
No problems really staying vegetarian - apart from occasional cravings for Gaeng Hang Lae (Northern Thai/Burmese curry, made from HUGE chunks of stewed pork, ginger, molasses and spices, of which a woman at my local food market does an excellent one), don't really miss meat that much - you can get Som Tam (spicy shredded papaya, tomato, peanut, string bean & chilli salad, with a bit of crab thrown in) on every street corner, and found two places near my work that serve amazing Thai vegetarian food (considering it's the second most strongly Buddhist country behind Cambodia, it's not that easy to be vegetarian here, as everyone seems to eat meat!)
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The thing is, alcoholism is a progressive disease. At some point, we've all crossed the invisible line and for us, there is no return. And, most of us have determined to moderate our drinking, and that doesn't work for alcoholics. If you're not alcoholic, you should have no problem stopping drinking.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
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Hi. If you can consume a couple of drinks and stop for days you MAY not be an alcoholic YET.
Non alcoholics don’t give much thought to drinking and usually can stop at 1 or 2.
Try testing yourself by not having a drink, for any reason, for 90 days and see if your sane emotions run normal.
BE WELL
Non alcoholics don’t give much thought to drinking and usually can stop at 1 or 2.
Try testing yourself by not having a drink, for any reason, for 90 days and see if your sane emotions run normal.
BE WELL
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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Originally Posted by IOAA2 
Hi. If you can consume a couple of drinks and stop for days you MAY not be an alcoholic YET. Non alcoholics don’t give much thought to drinking and usually can stop at 1 or 2. Try testing yourself by not having a drink, for any reason, for 90 days and see if your sane emotions run normal. BE WELL
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Originally Posted by Anna
The thing is, alcoholism is a progressive disease. At some point, we've all crossed the invisible line and for us, there is no return. And, most of us have determined to moderate our drinking, and that doesn't work for alcoholics. If you're not alcoholic, you should have no problem stopping drinking.
Like you say, it's a progressive disease - the guy I knew likely didn't go straight from normalcy to that stage overnight - I would imagine there are stages to the process.
As it stands, the main issue for me seems to be not having that first drink, when I'm out seeing friends at social situations. After I've had that one drink, it seems to roll over into a week-long relapse - until last week, I'd stayed sober and smoke free since new years. Well, apart from the Saturday before, when I had one glass of wine - and was totally fine, didn't have any kind of cravings the day after, or the following week.
Then I had that one drink that night - and the next day the cravings for the buzz were in full swing.
I think its likely, like the other poster said, that I'm not an alcoholic YET - but could be heading that way.
Thanks everyone for their input
should be fine, I hope - no classes this week at my school, so going to spend a LOT of time running in the countryside around Chiang Rai - then there's only 3 weeks left until the long school holiday (think we get about 8 weeks), then I can get my ass on the motorbike, back to the monastery in MHS for some major head-clearout Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
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Relapse is not part of the vocabulary for one who doesn't have a drinking problem.
Use whatever word for it you wish. The connotations of the 'A' word can be a bit overwhelming to some folks. Liken it to a diagnosis of a cancer (I know it is not the same).
If caught early and diagnosed correctly chances of recovery are close to 100% in developed countries. But if left untreated and is not diagnosed until it is stage 4 or worse, chances of recovery are slim.
As was stated already, it doesn't get better by itself, it only gets worse.
To use 'relapse' implies that you attempted to remain sober but were unable to maintain sobriety. For whatever reason. Not being able to stop when you want to is a huge warning flag.
Best wishes AGA.
Use whatever word for it you wish. The connotations of the 'A' word can be a bit overwhelming to some folks. Liken it to a diagnosis of a cancer (I know it is not the same).
If caught early and diagnosed correctly chances of recovery are close to 100% in developed countries. But if left untreated and is not diagnosed until it is stage 4 or worse, chances of recovery are slim.
As was stated already, it doesn't get better by itself, it only gets worse.
To use 'relapse' implies that you attempted to remain sober but were unable to maintain sobriety. For whatever reason. Not being able to stop when you want to is a huge warning flag.
Best wishes AGA.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
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Originally Posted by AGAGONNHOJ
I think its likely, like the other poster said, that I'm not an alcoholic YET - but could be heading that way.
I used to tell myself that if I wasn't careful, I would become an alcoholic. It wasn't until I had dropped out of college, destroyed my health, and drained my savings account that I decided I had a good reason to stop drinking.
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Location: California
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This helped me when I was still on the fence: people who are not alcoholics don't wonder if they are alcoholics.
I remember even being a little defiant when I joined. "Well, here I am in this forum. I'm just checking it out, looking around but I'm not like these people. I drink a lot. I know that but I'm not an alcoholic. I'll stop on my own or maybe only drink occasionally. I'll stop today. Wait, make that tomorrow...."
That was my experience. As others have said, if you're not an alcoholic then stopping won't be hard.
I remember even being a little defiant when I joined. "Well, here I am in this forum. I'm just checking it out, looking around but I'm not like these people. I drink a lot. I know that but I'm not an alcoholic. I'll stop on my own or maybe only drink occasionally. I'll stop today. Wait, make that tomorrow...."
That was my experience. As others have said, if you're not an alcoholic then stopping won't be hard.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
This helped me when I was still on the fence: people who are not alcoholics don't wonder if they are alcoholics.
With me, it seems to be contextual and situational. Thinking about it, there have been some times, including over the past few months, when in a good frame of mind, when happy, I don't have a problem stopping at one - when I've been out at a bar with friends, in that frame of mind, I just keep talking and laughing, the drink I bought going un-noticed for ages, even over an hour.
If I'm depressed (I've had many problems in this area), generally NOT in a good place, then the urge to drink comes up, and I just can't seem to stop myself.
Not sure whether or not it's appropriate to call me an alcoholic per se - but all I need to know is that at least for the next few months, I have to stay off the booze. At the moment, I've been drink-free for about a week now, don't feel any need to go back, and just got in from yet another long distance running session - started the day thinking I'd take it easy, ended up doing 10km!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome Aga nice to meet you read this to help you stay sober
its very useful you can print it off http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
For me its Acceptance knowing if i drink i cant do so safely or responsibly so i dont but then i had to figure out how to stay sober
i done that with support & more acceptance that i couldnt do this on my own SR is a great place for support
plus do you think id stay sober if i wasnt getting a good deal out of sobriety ? im near 19 months sober and i got my life bk
Read the forum im sure youl find relation
its very useful you can print it off http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
For me its Acceptance knowing if i drink i cant do so safely or responsibly so i dont but then i had to figure out how to stay sober
i done that with support & more acceptance that i couldnt do this on my own SR is a great place for support
plus do you think id stay sober if i wasnt getting a good deal out of sobriety ? im near 19 months sober and i got my life bk
Read the forum im sure youl find relation
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 174
I just saved a copy to disk. Some really useful points there - like zero tolerance when it comes to thoughts of boozing - don't even let them get to the first stage etc.
There was a brief few hours last night when I did struggle with thoughts, but they went away pretty quickly - I was at a guesthouse at the summit of Phu Chi Fah (the second highest peak in Thailand, after Doi Inthanon), and just went out on a run through the mountains!
I think something I'd personally add to that list is the following:
Instead of focusing on not drinking and avoiding feeling sick etc, focus on keeping the feeling of clear-headedness, sobriety, health etc.
There was a brief few hours last night when I did struggle with thoughts, but they went away pretty quickly - I was at a guesthouse at the summit of Phu Chi Fah (the second highest peak in Thailand, after Doi Inthanon), and just went out on a run through the mountains!
I think something I'd personally add to that list is the following:
Instead of focusing on not drinking and avoiding feeling sick etc, focus on keeping the feeling of clear-headedness, sobriety, health etc.
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