Days are lighter, sun is brighter
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Days are lighter, sun is brighter
...air is clearer, I am freer.
As most of you know, the last week was kind of tough for me. I woke up many days longing for a drink, and thinking how nice it will be to get a nice morning buzz. I went to bed most of those nights, wondering if I would succumb to my drinking thoughts the next day. All I wanted to do was drown my feelings in a bottle. I just wanted to get numb and not care anymore. But each day came and went and I was still sober. For a while there I wasnt thinking about drinking. But now I think about it at least once a day thinking that could be something to look forward to and thinking if not drinking then what do I look forward to?
Soon enough those thoughts wore off, and I was left with reality. And my reality is like everyone else's reality. There is a beginning and an end to everything, and then there is everything in between. Everything in between should be cherished and thought of as a blessing. I mean when else are you going to be alive and feeling and touching and seeing and smelling? You only get one life and its not fair to not make it count.
So my days are a little lighter (brighter and not as heavy), and I see more clearly. However I still get those dark feelings and a false sense of truth that drinking will help...
As most of you know, the last week was kind of tough for me. I woke up many days longing for a drink, and thinking how nice it will be to get a nice morning buzz. I went to bed most of those nights, wondering if I would succumb to my drinking thoughts the next day. All I wanted to do was drown my feelings in a bottle. I just wanted to get numb and not care anymore. But each day came and went and I was still sober. For a while there I wasnt thinking about drinking. But now I think about it at least once a day thinking that could be something to look forward to and thinking if not drinking then what do I look forward to?
Soon enough those thoughts wore off, and I was left with reality. And my reality is like everyone else's reality. There is a beginning and an end to everything, and then there is everything in between. Everything in between should be cherished and thought of as a blessing. I mean when else are you going to be alive and feeling and touching and seeing and smelling? You only get one life and its not fair to not make it count.
So my days are a little lighter (brighter and not as heavy), and I see more clearly. However I still get those dark feelings and a false sense of truth that drinking will help...
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Alwyshope12 
Hi Jryan, thanks for the great post!
How long have you been sober? You really give me something to look forward to!
How long have you been sober? You really give me something to look forward to!
Honestly so much good has come out of not drinking, but I can still feel my chemistry is a bit off which I think is to be expected. I have found that my biggest thing is to keep busy (mind and hands).
Congrats on almost two weeks it looks like!
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by jryan19982
Well if my math is right (as I dont readily keep track anymore) I am a little over 6 weeks. So still pretty early in my recovery. But I am nearing the point I lost it last time- around 9 weeks.
Honestly so much good has come out of not drinking, but I can still feel my chemistry is a bit off which I think is to be expected. I have found that my biggest thing is to keep busy (mind and hands).
Congrats on almost two weeks it looks like!
Honestly so much good has come out of not drinking, but I can still feel my chemistry is a bit off which I think is to be expected. I have found that my biggest thing is to keep busy (mind and hands).
Congrats on almost two weeks it looks like!
The relief from the PAWS is a nice burden to be lifted, and you are right, it is like a gentle lightening. There are time I think to myself that I had no idea that life could have felt this way!!!!
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
jryan, good to hear that you're feeling so positive 
You're doing great my friend.
For me, sobriety is life.
So whatever I think or feel, or wish, or mourn, or crave, there is no going back to the bottle. Simple as that.
You're doing great my friend.
For me, sobriety is life.
So whatever I think or feel, or wish, or mourn, or crave, there is no going back to the bottle. Simple as that.
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