I Am Sorry SR
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
YES, I second what doggonecarl just said. Let us be an encouragement for you when you need it....we're here for you!! You are not a hyprocrite, you're human. And this is hard. If it wasn't, there would be no such thing as alcoholics wanting to get sober.
Glad you posted Charlie. Keep at it with us!
Glad you posted Charlie. Keep at it with us!
Hello everyone.
Thanks a million for the support everyone. Just as "Jsbodhi" posted, I have been self loathing all day, wondering why I did this. I must be insane, because I know the result and yet I keep doing it all over again. Granted, longer stretches between episodes but all of it is unacceptable.
I read peoples posts that started SR just about the same time I did and they have 1 year sober or 5, 6, 7, 8 months sober and I keep thinking what on earth am I doing wrong?
One would think that waking up dry heaving, sick to my stomach, bloated face and road maps for eyes would get it right by now.
I have to be honest I am so sick of day one's, but its my own damn fault. I am so deflated with failure.
Oh well, there is only one option and that's to get back up, dust myself off and move forward I guess. I cant help but think about the last month and a half of feeling great and now I have to start over again...
Thanks a million for the support everyone. Just as "Jsbodhi" posted, I have been self loathing all day, wondering why I did this. I must be insane, because I know the result and yet I keep doing it all over again. Granted, longer stretches between episodes but all of it is unacceptable.
I read peoples posts that started SR just about the same time I did and they have 1 year sober or 5, 6, 7, 8 months sober and I keep thinking what on earth am I doing wrong?
One would think that waking up dry heaving, sick to my stomach, bloated face and road maps for eyes would get it right by now.
I have to be honest I am so sick of day one's, but its my own damn fault. I am so deflated with failure.
Oh well, there is only one option and that's to get back up, dust myself off and move forward I guess. I cant help but think about the last month and a half of feeling great and now I have to start over again...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Charlie - like you, I actually feel like a hypocrite even responding to your post b/c I am NOT one who has the 1 year or 6 months or anything close to it sober. I've been trying this for a while, and sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. In fact, I see your join date is Jan 2014, same as me. But I will say this, I don't think you have to necessarily think of it as "starting over". You may start back at Day 1 if you're counting, but you DO still have the month and a half behind you. Its not gone b/c you made a mistake. At least for me, the more long stretches of sober time I was able to put together made me more convinced that its what I want. I still mess up. I really do, and I don't know why. But at least I KNOW what it feels like w/o waking up dry heaving, w/o waking up sick to my stomach...and you do too. So yea, dust yourself and let's keep coming here, ok?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 40
How You Helped Me Today!
Charlie, what you're doing is showing newbies like me that this is a welcoming place where you can be honest and folks will be there to support you if you fall. I'm afraid I will fall, but way more afraid that I'd be too embarrassed to come back here if I did, and I feel like I NEED SR. You did a good thing by posting. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
No judgement here as well.
There is no single road to recovery, no single solution, every journey is unique.
At the end, all that matters is that we all end up at the same spot. Sober, content, with the tools we need to make it stick.
You are learning to live sober, like learning to walk all over again. Stumbling a bit is not a failure.
Rock on!!!!
There is no single road to recovery, no single solution, every journey is unique.
At the end, all that matters is that we all end up at the same spot. Sober, content, with the tools we need to make it stick.
You are learning to live sober, like learning to walk all over again. Stumbling a bit is not a failure.
Rock on!!!!
Seconding what the others have said - you have nothing to apologise for
I don't know your history but if you've not drunk in December and January that's 50 days sober compared to 1 day drinking. 50 to 1 is a good ratio
I don't know your history but if you've not drunk in December and January that's 50 days sober compared to 1 day drinking. 50 to 1 is a good ratio
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 73
Thank you for posting. It serves as a reminder to me that I can't starting drinking in moderation. I'm sorry that you slipped, but you're here and you can start over. Don't let that one day ruin your life. Hit reset and let's do this together.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)