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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Appleton, WI
Posts: 1
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Hello, I am a newbie to this recovery forum. I am a single alcoholic mother with 2 young adult sons. They choose to not have me in their life. I really am looking to find answers/help/information or book names,
as to how I can regain my children back into my life. It is a toughy with them no longer in my life and hope to gain ideas how to slowly regain my motherhood.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Welcome rebs, you have to start somewhere, right? So here is where to start....
1) Stop drinking and go to your doctor immediately and tell him/her you want to stop drinking immediately. Tell them how much you have been drinking so that they can prescribe medication for you if you need it. Some people need it when they quit and some people don't. But quitting cold turkey can be dangerous, so go see your doctor
2) get some sleep, eat a little, throw out all the empty bottles and remaining alcohol out of your house. Never....I repeat.....NEVER....drink again. Under any circumstances. You are a non drinker now, end of story
3) Read through this forum for 30 or 40 hours if you can. All the questions and problems are in here and all the answers too. We are all like you and have been there. Let me give you an example, I also have two sons, I am alcoholic and I drank for 27 years steady without ever quitting. I quit 9 weeks ago and have not looked back. Trust me, if I can, you can. Research AA and AVRT in particular, they are very different tools you can use to recover and both can be used in parallel. Google them and read this site. You can read my recent post on my introduction to AA and how it addressed the concerns I had about it. If you click my name and look at my blog you can see it
4) Don't drink....ever
5) Learn about addictions and how they manipulate your mind and how you can over come them. Learn about what triggered you to drink and how to prevent them. Learn about cravings and how to handle them. Use all this to write yourself a Recovery Plan. This plan will be your personal blueprint. I did all this in my first sober month and wrote a similar plan and it was massively helpful. My Plan is also in my blog. You can look it up and use it as a starting point for yourself
So now you know what to do.....the rest of up to you. How badly do you want to get sober? For me I knew drinking was destroying my life and I had no choice but to make all of the above my first priority.
1) Stop drinking and go to your doctor immediately and tell him/her you want to stop drinking immediately. Tell them how much you have been drinking so that they can prescribe medication for you if you need it. Some people need it when they quit and some people don't. But quitting cold turkey can be dangerous, so go see your doctor
2) get some sleep, eat a little, throw out all the empty bottles and remaining alcohol out of your house. Never....I repeat.....NEVER....drink again. Under any circumstances. You are a non drinker now, end of story
3) Read through this forum for 30 or 40 hours if you can. All the questions and problems are in here and all the answers too. We are all like you and have been there. Let me give you an example, I also have two sons, I am alcoholic and I drank for 27 years steady without ever quitting. I quit 9 weeks ago and have not looked back. Trust me, if I can, you can. Research AA and AVRT in particular, they are very different tools you can use to recover and both can be used in parallel. Google them and read this site. You can read my recent post on my introduction to AA and how it addressed the concerns I had about it. If you click my name and look at my blog you can see it
4) Don't drink....ever
5) Learn about addictions and how they manipulate your mind and how you can over come them. Learn about what triggered you to drink and how to prevent them. Learn about cravings and how to handle them. Use all this to write yourself a Recovery Plan. This plan will be your personal blueprint. I did all this in my first sober month and wrote a similar plan and it was massively helpful. My Plan is also in my blog. You can look it up and use it as a starting point for yourself
So now you know what to do.....the rest of up to you. How badly do you want to get sober? For me I knew drinking was destroying my life and I had no choice but to make all of the above my first priority.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi rebsmad - welcome 
I see by your profile you've been sober a few months now - thats great
While there's nothing that can 'make' your sons reconcile with you I really believe continued sobriety gives you all the best chance if a reconciliation sometime down the track.
Give them time and space...let your actions speak for themselves...let the change in you be obvious
I wish you all the best with it
D
I see by your profile you've been sober a few months now - thats great
While there's nothing that can 'make' your sons reconcile with you I really believe continued sobriety gives you all the best chance if a reconciliation sometime down the track.
Give them time and space...let your actions speak for themselves...let the change in you be obvious
I wish you all the best with it
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and welcome.
Good advice above and I suggest the benefits also of going to a lot of AA meetings where you’ll be among friends who understand the rigors of getting and more important staying sober.
The first thing I needed to do was get honest about my drinking and accept the fact that I cannot drink in safety. At that point things, WE, start to get better. It’s not a flash bang quick fix that we usually want for everything it seems.
A big thing we need to recognize is we get sober for our selves first, during that period things start to fall into place. Regaining family is a common benefit but can’t be rushed depending the circumstances.
BE WELL
Good advice above and I suggest the benefits also of going to a lot of AA meetings where you’ll be among friends who understand the rigors of getting and more important staying sober.
The first thing I needed to do was get honest about my drinking and accept the fact that I cannot drink in safety. At that point things, WE, start to get better. It’s not a flash bang quick fix that we usually want for everything it seems.
A big thing we need to recognize is we get sober for our selves first, during that period things start to fall into place. Regaining family is a common benefit but can’t be rushed depending the circumstances.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
My advice is first things first.
The first part is to stop drinking and admit you have a problem and the second is to learn about alcoholism and recovery. Find a recovery plan or program whether that is AA or another program and start working that program.
What comes of your sobriety is for you. Take it one day at a time and do not look to much at your expectations.
The first part is to stop drinking and admit you have a problem and the second is to learn about alcoholism and recovery. Find a recovery plan or program whether that is AA or another program and start working that program.
What comes of your sobriety is for you. Take it one day at a time and do not look to much at your expectations.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome & nice to meet you Rebsmad i agree with D
Give them time by staying sober it creates possibilities further down the line for reconcilliation
In the meantime just stay focused on your recovery
Were all here to support you 5000%
Give them time by staying sober it creates possibilities further down the line for reconcilliation
In the meantime just stay focused on your recovery
Were all here to support you 5000%
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