SeekingNewMe

Failed too many times to count. I can't have the life I want and continue to drink, because pretty soon I won't have a life at all. Day 1.

Just thought I would say hi again.

SeekingNewMe

SoberLeigh

Hi, SeekingNewMe. Welcome back.

I failed many times, too. It will eventually stick; never give up.

Have you thought about a plan?

Soberwolf

Welcome SeekingNewMe youl find so much support here

Nice to meet you

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-3-a-5.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-35-a-19.html

doggonecarl

Stick around. Maybe something will click this time.

ScottFromWI

Welcome Seeking. When you say you have failed that can mean a lot of things, but most fit under one of 3 categories it seems

1. Lack of a sobriety plan
2. Lack of effort to follow a plan
3. Having the wrong plan

If you can fit it into one of those 3 areas, it can go far in developing a new plan moving forward. What have you tried to this point?

IOAA2

Welcome.

Many of us “fail” when we do what is common to us, drink even when we know it’s not a solution at all.

I was very undisciplined and immature when I tried to stop doing things my way. Didn’t/doesn’t work for any decent time period. I needed the discipline taught me at AA meetings with the work and changes involved. Reading and posting here is also a great help.
I don’t regret one minute over many years.

BE WELL

SeekingNewMe

Thanks all, for your replies. I guess if I am being totally honest I don't really have a plan. I had 'planned' to quit January 1st, but by the second I was overwhelmed and drinking already again. I plan to quit every Sunday. The longer this goes on (many many years now) the harder it is to even contemplate quitting... it's just all I know. But there's a very real sense of hopelessness now - I had three days last week and went out for booze the night of the third... just because. I remember thinking I wanted to do other things, wanted to go to yoga, wanted to come home and eat dinner and go to bed like a normal person... but it was like I didn't have a choice - I didn't know how to do anything but go back to drinking.
I have to break this cycle. Today could have been Day 20 and I feel so sick that I don't seem to be able to conquer this. I've tried counseling etc in the past and found it made me want to drink more just because I felt so awful about myself. Maybe it is time to try again. I have to do something.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back SeekingNewMe!! You can do this!!

doggonecarl

Sounds to me that you drinking makes you feel pretty awful about yourself. Feeling awful is normal in early recovery. But until you work it and see if it sticks, you'll not reap the benefits of sobriety.

Not sure what kind of counseling you tried, but there are programs that address alcoholism: AA, Rational Recovery, Celebrate Recovery, among others. Commit to recovery and give one a try. Doing it on your own doesn't seem to be working for you.

Dee74

Welcome back SeekingNewMe

If what you've tried in the past hasn't worked, maybe it's time for a new plan?

D

Zebra1275

What have you been doing to get sober? Whatever it is, it's not working, time to try some new strategies.

Foolsgold186

Welcome back and well done on day 1.

You can do this.