What to tell my employer?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 226
What to tell my employer?
Looking for some advice on what to tell my boss at work. I have missed a couple days and now I'm taking off today to get out of the same routine because in that routine I will buy alcohol on my way home. Also I want to see how withdrawals go today and tonight. I can tell he is wondering what is going on with me. I am leaning towards being honest with him about the situation. I just hate to air my dirty laundry.
Has anyone here been in the same situation and how did you deal with it?
Has anyone here been in the same situation and how did you deal with it?
11.30.14
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: California
Posts: 401
Just say you were out ill and leave it at that. I would never tell my employer more than they need to know, especially regarding alcohol addiction. There's way too much of a stigma in our society as well as judgmental people.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 226
Yeah its a tough one and yes this was me recently..to be honest it just depends on your relationship with your boss.
I would go to your doc for a med cert and just say its for a medical condition.
I had to tell them due to the nature of my work, but if you dont have to I wouldnt.
Really your medical personal info. Is none of their business.
All they should care about is that you fet better and rtn to work... from that view I dont think it matters if its getting off the grog or the flu? You could just say its a temporary personal health issue you need to get on top off...end of story
I would go to your doc for a med cert and just say its for a medical condition.
I had to tell them due to the nature of my work, but if you dont have to I wouldnt.
Really your medical personal info. Is none of their business.
All they should care about is that you fet better and rtn to work... from that view I dont think it matters if its getting off the grog or the flu? You could just say its a temporary personal health issue you need to get on top off...end of story
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 576
I'd suggest going to your Dr. , have him write you out based on symptoms...Headache, dizziness , fatigue , etc....At least if you tell your Boss you are seeing a Dr. because you don't feel right , you can get it in writing...
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
I told my employer last May when I got myself in major crap with a 2nd DUI (they don't know it was my 2nd, they think it was the first. They also don't know I did 6 weekends of jail time over the summer) - at the time, I felt I had no choice as my drinking was affecting my performance and attendance at work. They knew something was up. I was also still drunk/withdrawing? I don't even know what, I just know I was NOT in a stable mind state when I did throw my cards on the table. I has smashed my BF's car, arrested and kicked out on a Saturday/Sunday...when I showed up to work on Monday, I was a mess. A HOT MESS. I wasn't thinking straight at all. I just told them 
in hindsight. I kinda wish I hadn't. It's now on my record and in my medical files b/c I checked into a week detox and had seen my Dr. prior to that.
Knowing what I know now - I wish I had just sucked up and came up with another excuse.
THAT BEING SAID - it has held me very accountable. I haven't been late once or missed a day since that week b/c I know I will lose my ****** job.
tough call.
in hindsight. I kinda wish I hadn't. It's now on my record and in my medical files b/c I checked into a week detox and had seen my Dr. prior to that.
Knowing what I know now - I wish I had just sucked up and came up with another excuse.
THAT BEING SAID - it has held me very accountable. I haven't been late once or missed a day since that week b/c I know I will lose my ****** job.
tough call.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 226
I think I will tell him I have a serious health issue and I needed to take the time to get ahead of it.
I am very close with my boss. He is a great leader and I trust him. My guess is he will know what my "health issue" is without me saying it. If I leave it at that then it will get the point across that I'm working to fix the problem. While not openly saying it. I feel that would be better than not saying anything and let him go on questioning my reliability.
Does that sound good?
I am very close with my boss. He is a great leader and I trust him. My guess is he will know what my "health issue" is without me saying it. If I leave it at that then it will get the point across that I'm working to fix the problem. While not openly saying it. I feel that would be better than not saying anything and let him go on questioning my reliability.
Does that sound good?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Not really, if you put it like that he will almost be required to ask for more details to ensure that the company is not legally exposed. Just say that you were not feeling well and that you have been to a doctor and it should pass in a couple of days. Then at a later stage if the topic of alcohol ever comes up you can say that you don't drink anymore and everything will fall into place for him.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I advise against telling your boss (or co-workers) about your alcoholism. Once it's out there, it's out there. And, what if you had a bad week at work for some reason unrelated to alcohol? It could be the first thing that comes to your boss's mind.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Originally Posted by Anna 
I advise against telling your boss (or co-workers) about your alcoholism. Once it's out there, it's out there. And, what if you had a bad week at work for some reason unrelated to alcohol? It could be the first thing that comes to your boss's mind.
I'm constantly on guard here now. I suffer from insomnia at times as well so come into the office on maybe 2hrs of really crappy sleep - I'm always paranoid now that if I don't "look" right - they will automatically assume I am up to no good again.
*touch wood* that I haven't caught anything that has been going around this winter, but again, I feel like if I call in sick...are they going to assume I am legit sick or ????
The only good thing that came out of me telling is that it has played a major part in me staying sober. It really has. I may not have the best job but in my city right now, it's bad. The thought of dealing with unemployment makes me sick. Knowing I will lose this job if I show up a mess again has been a major incentive in me keeping my proverbial poop together. (that may not be incentive enough for another person though, for me...it is a huge incentive)
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I would also advise against telling an employer about your alcoholism if you can at all. You never know where the information will land, and when it might turn against you perhaps even in irrelevant situations. If you were never caught on the job intoxicated or drinking, I don't see a reason why to let them know. Perhaps you could say that you struggle with personal problems and depression? That is often true for alcoholics and in early recovery anyway, and it does not need further explanation. It might also help later of you are still a little slow pulling yourself together.
I've been on both sides of this. Regarding my own alcohol problem, I never told any coworker or boss, except one colleague that I also had a private relationship with, but that's different and she wasn't my superior. I had no choice once but admit there was something going on though, because I became so incapable of taking care of work for weeks... no, actually months. I had a severe depressive episode then, and was also drinking heavily... well, told them about the depression. Everyone was extremely helpful.
The other instance was once a student that I supervised, who was in a similar situation in a way: a sudden crisis in her personal life, triggered a major depressive episode (that she got lots of professional help with), and started drinking heavily. This student really trusted me and liked to talk to me about everything in her life, so I was one of the first people to hear about her personal life troubles, and then the depression... For her all this seemed to progress pretty fast, and there were a few months when she was just hiding out, very unreliable, visibly suffering and sad when she did show up. I tried not to take note of it at first for a while, but just like in my case, in the end it was impossible. So one day she came to me and told me she could no longer hold anything together, and was also drinking heavily. I suggested that she took a 3-month medical leave to get the appropriate help... she could do that through the school, but I did have to hold my back for her a bit. It really worked out for her, and when she came back, after a short adjustment period, she did some of the most fantastic work I'd ever seen from a student within such a short time frame. Graduated nearly a year ago and is still doing very well, moved to a different state, etc. Of course the irony was that through all this, I kept my own dirty little secret about alcohol from everyone, but in my case and my position it would have been really a very bad idea to publish it. Again, I never drank on the job. If you did and they know it, that's a slightly different case.
I've been on both sides of this. Regarding my own alcohol problem, I never told any coworker or boss, except one colleague that I also had a private relationship with, but that's different and she wasn't my superior. I had no choice once but admit there was something going on though, because I became so incapable of taking care of work for weeks... no, actually months. I had a severe depressive episode then, and was also drinking heavily... well, told them about the depression. Everyone was extremely helpful.
The other instance was once a student that I supervised, who was in a similar situation in a way: a sudden crisis in her personal life, triggered a major depressive episode (that she got lots of professional help with), and started drinking heavily. This student really trusted me and liked to talk to me about everything in her life, so I was one of the first people to hear about her personal life troubles, and then the depression... For her all this seemed to progress pretty fast, and there were a few months when she was just hiding out, very unreliable, visibly suffering and sad when she did show up. I tried not to take note of it at first for a while, but just like in my case, in the end it was impossible. So one day she came to me and told me she could no longer hold anything together, and was also drinking heavily. I suggested that she took a 3-month medical leave to get the appropriate help... she could do that through the school, but I did have to hold my back for her a bit. It really worked out for her, and when she came back, after a short adjustment period, she did some of the most fantastic work I'd ever seen from a student within such a short time frame. Graduated nearly a year ago and is still doing very well, moved to a different state, etc. Of course the irony was that through all this, I kept my own dirty little secret about alcohol from everyone, but in my case and my position it would have been really a very bad idea to publish it. Again, I never drank on the job. If you did and they know it, that's a slightly different case.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 809
I would be careful with this.
I thought I was doing the right thing once by getting honest with my employer. I ended up going on leave and to a residential treatment centre.
They avoided my calls the entire 6 weeks I was in treatment (but continued to pay me) and then showed up on my graduation day to FIRE me. For no reason other than "we don't feel comfortable employing an alchoholic".
Initially - I wanted to fight them, because I knew it was against human rights laws. However, a lawyer advised me that I would need money to pay all of the legal fees, that the issue would be tied up for years in court, and I would probably end up with less money than I started with. So there are loopholes - and my employer got away with it - and I was without a job.
So be careful is all suggest - the stigma attached to this disease runs deep.
Good luck to you.
I thought I was doing the right thing once by getting honest with my employer. I ended up going on leave and to a residential treatment centre.
They avoided my calls the entire 6 weeks I was in treatment (but continued to pay me) and then showed up on my graduation day to FIRE me. For no reason other than "we don't feel comfortable employing an alchoholic".
Initially - I wanted to fight them, because I knew it was against human rights laws. However, a lawyer advised me that I would need money to pay all of the legal fees, that the issue would be tied up for years in court, and I would probably end up with less money than I started with. So there are loopholes - and my employer got away with it - and I was without a job.
So be careful is all suggest - the stigma attached to this disease runs deep.
Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
yah, I've been thinking about this all day (LOL thx for that) - I vote no.
If you can avoid it, do NOT tell them.
I'm realizing this is going to be a major cause for concern for me down the road and as much as I hate regret (such a wasted emotion) - I actually wish I could rewind and not have told them.
If you can avoid it, do NOT tell them.
I'm realizing this is going to be a major cause for concern for me down the road and as much as I hate regret (such a wasted emotion) - I actually wish I could rewind and not have told them.
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