First AA meeting. Do they make you talk?
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
No they don't. Different meeting locations have different formats but none of them will make you talk.
At most meetings the chair will ask at the beginning of the meeting if there are any newcomers or visitors from out of town there. If you want, you can introduce yourself then. Just give your name, if you want. Don't have to say anything else. But you don't even have to do that much.
During the meeting if you are called on, if you don't want to talk all you have to say is "Pass" or "I'd just like to listen."
Good luck!
At most meetings the chair will ask at the beginning of the meeting if there are any newcomers or visitors from out of town there. If you want, you can introduce yourself then. Just give your name, if you want. Don't have to say anything else. But you don't even have to do that much.
During the meeting if you are called on, if you don't want to talk all you have to say is "Pass" or "I'd just like to listen."
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
I didnt speak in AA for a good few weeks, I was terrified I would say something stupid! Turns out when its from the heart and how you feel nothing can feel stupid.
Dont feel pressured into doing anything you dont want.
I was told that in order to get some good stuff in I had to let all the bad stuff out.
Wishing you well.
L x
Dont feel pressured into doing anything you dont want.
I was told that in order to get some good stuff in I had to let all the bad stuff out.
Wishing you well.
L x
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi TeeBee the answer is no i think the most they said was would anyone like to introduce themselves
you dont have to introduce yourself either there is no pressure
When i went and was asked i just stood up said my name & said im alcoholic i need help
But there is zero pressure theyl make you a hot beverage offer biscuts/cake
I would suggest going if your curious
you dont have to introduce yourself either there is no pressure
When i went and was asked i just stood up said my name & said im alcoholic i need help
But there is zero pressure theyl make you a hot beverage offer biscuts/cake
I would suggest going if your curious
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Just walk in with WILLINGNESS, HONESTY
AND AN OPENMIND. Mostly WILLINGNESS.
As much as I was timid, I knew what
I needed to do. I needed to be there
to listen, learn, aborb what I heard
that made sense to me so that I could
live and apply some healthy, positive
changes in my everyday life.
I didn't speak for a long time. I mainly
listened to the "old-timers" who have
learned themselves how to remain sober
for as long as they have for a many one
days at a time.
I went in, found my seat and opened
my heart and ears to them wanting to
absorb how they did it. How could an
alcoholic smile, look healthy and not drink.
Each day that I went, even on days
I didn't want to go, I knew I needed
to be there for me, myself and I. I
needed to learn about my addiction
and how it affected my mind, body
and soul and find ways to deal with
life on lifes terms.
Going to Step Studies and Big Book
Studies was extremely helpful. Then
Speaker meetings to listen to many
tell their stories of their ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes of what their life
was and is like before, during and
after alcohol or drugs.
Open meetings are good but I had to
go to listen for that right message I
needed to carry with me for the rest
of the day. In those meetings we hear
lots of stuff that may not relate to recovery
until one or two step up and talk recovery
talk that I so desperately needed to hear.
Many of those who talked the steps
and big book, I would have my books
with me and when they refered to a
particular page, I would turn to it and
highlight it because I knew it must be
that important in helping me live a
sober life.
You should see my big book and step
book today. It is used. It looks aged
because I have had it since 1990. It
became my buddy. I carried it into
many meetings so that I could be ready
when oldtimers refered to particular
sayings in those books.
Anyway.....
I would often say my memorized
Serenity Prayer to strengthen me
before my meetings or various other
memorized prayers to give me courage
to sit in those meetings and listen for
the words to carry with me all day.
Before long, like many yrs later, I
found my strength to read in meetings
and most of all to share my own ESH
to help others just beginning their
recovery journey just as I did 24 yrs
ago. To give back what was so freely
passed on to me over the yrs. is what
is keeping me sober today.
Your journey is just beginning and
how awesome is that.
Listen, Learn,
Absorb, then Apply the gifts in recovery
to one day pass on to the newcomers
down the road.
AND AN OPENMIND. Mostly WILLINGNESS.
As much as I was timid, I knew what
I needed to do. I needed to be there
to listen, learn, aborb what I heard
that made sense to me so that I could
live and apply some healthy, positive
changes in my everyday life.
I didn't speak for a long time. I mainly
listened to the "old-timers" who have
learned themselves how to remain sober
for as long as they have for a many one
days at a time.
I went in, found my seat and opened
my heart and ears to them wanting to
absorb how they did it. How could an
alcoholic smile, look healthy and not drink.
Each day that I went, even on days
I didn't want to go, I knew I needed
to be there for me, myself and I. I
needed to learn about my addiction
and how it affected my mind, body
and soul and find ways to deal with
life on lifes terms.
Going to Step Studies and Big Book
Studies was extremely helpful. Then
Speaker meetings to listen to many
tell their stories of their ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes of what their life
was and is like before, during and
after alcohol or drugs.
Open meetings are good but I had to
go to listen for that right message I
needed to carry with me for the rest
of the day. In those meetings we hear
lots of stuff that may not relate to recovery
until one or two step up and talk recovery
talk that I so desperately needed to hear.
Many of those who talked the steps
and big book, I would have my books
with me and when they refered to a
particular page, I would turn to it and
highlight it because I knew it must be
that important in helping me live a
sober life.
You should see my big book and step
book today. It is used. It looks aged
because I have had it since 1990. It
became my buddy. I carried it into
many meetings so that I could be ready
when oldtimers refered to particular
sayings in those books.
Anyway.....
I would often say my memorized
Serenity Prayer to strengthen me
before my meetings or various other
memorized prayers to give me courage
to sit in those meetings and listen for
the words to carry with me all day.
Before long, like many yrs later, I
found my strength to read in meetings
and most of all to share my own ESH
to help others just beginning their
recovery journey just as I did 24 yrs
ago. To give back what was so freely
passed on to me over the yrs. is what
is keeping me sober today.
Your journey is just beginning and
how awesome is that.
Listen, Learn,Absorb, then Apply the gifts in recovery
to one day pass on to the newcomers
down the road.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and thanks for the question which I’m sure will help others.
As stated you may only want to give your first name without saying you’re an alcoholic until you may feel ready, I would say that your new but again unnecessary.
In my area there are many discussion meetings and when I was new I was encouraged to say I pass then at the last moment I could say something I was feeling if I needed to.
This was to keep me focused on what others were saying and not to be preoccupied on what I was going to say. An expression that’s fitting “we learn to listen and listen to learn.”
BE WELL
As stated you may only want to give your first name without saying you’re an alcoholic until you may feel ready, I would say that your new but again unnecessary.
In my area there are many discussion meetings and when I was new I was encouraged to say I pass then at the last moment I could say something I was feeling if I needed to.
This was to keep me focused on what others were saying and not to be preoccupied on what I was going to say. An expression that’s fitting “we learn to listen and listen to learn.”
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I'm not a big AA'er but did go to a few meetings during my earlier days and also again more recently. I have a large selection of meetings to choose from where I live, so I almost always went to a different one, mostly out of curiosity, and because AA for me is more like a supplemental, occasional tool and am not really aiming at finding my "home" in it. They never made me speak but I did a few times, because that was in part the reason why I went and I don't typically have problems with it. You can also talk with people in a more causal way before/after the meeting if you are so inclined. I'm usually approached by people that way, or I do it myself when I feel up to it. Really no obligation or anything to be afraid of And if you just want to stay and listen in silence, do that!
And if you just want to stay and listen in silence, do that!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
No, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. You can just listen.
If it is the type of meeting (discussion) that people take turns sharing and it goes around the room then you can just say "I pass" and it will go to the next person.
If it is the type of meeting (discussion) that people take turns sharing and it goes around the room then you can just say "I pass" and it will go to the next person.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 98
Hi teebee
it took me quote a few meetings before I plucked up the courage to talk. Just walking in the door is a huge step forward and I commend you for it. Take the bull by the horns, walk in and see what happens. You may be surprised. You will be among friends. Good luck
it took me quote a few meetings before I plucked up the courage to talk. Just walking in the door is a huge step forward and I commend you for it. Take the bull by the horns, walk in and see what happens. You may be surprised. You will be among friends. Good luck
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