Coming up on 4 months
Coming up on 4 months
I don't count days, but I knew it had been awhile so I went and checked, and February 5th will be 4 months for me.
I read the post i made when I came back seeking help, and OMG what a difference. things are not perfect, things are not easy. But I look back on that post, and I can feel how I felt that day.
No matter how hard I think my day is, how bored I am, or how much I think I can have one drink again... it is 1,000 times better than that hell I was in.
I won't check my time again until the end of next summer, because at a year sober I am going to start drinking again. KIDDING! At a year I am going to open myself up to relationships. For now I am just working on myself and that is fine.
Thank you friends, I would never had made it without you guys supporting me, and all of us seeking the path we deserve to be on.
I read the post i made when I came back seeking help, and OMG what a difference. things are not perfect, things are not easy. But I look back on that post, and I can feel how I felt that day.
No matter how hard I think my day is, how bored I am, or how much I think I can have one drink again... it is 1,000 times better than that hell I was in.
I won't check my time again until the end of next summer, because at a year sober I am going to start drinking again. KIDDING! At a year I am going to open myself up to relationships. For now I am just working on myself and that is fine.
Thank you friends, I would never had made it without you guys supporting me, and all of us seeking the path we deserve to be on.
The best things, that are often overlooked in early sobriety are:
I eat. It isn't just something I HAVE to do, I enjoy it now. I am a thin guy by nature, but not eating at all was killing me along with the beer and drugs.
I sleep. Even on nights I have trouble sleeping, I awake feeling better than I did after a night of 12 beers and pot.
Exercise. I do so because i have energy again. It isn't something I think about, or "need" to do, I just do. Natural for me now that I think about it.
Restroom happenings. Well I won't go into detail, but things are normal again.
Housekeeping. It just happens now. It isn't something I "do", it isn't an activity. It is just part of my day now.
How I view myself, and others. I am my original self now, in that I am clear headed and can speak/relate to others. I may not be perfect, but at least now I am me.
I get to be bored again. Being bored used to be a trigger, now it is an opportunity to do something, or plan to do something. Before, boredom meant drinking, and then I did nothing. For days and days and days.
Everything is better, and it will keep getting better as long as I wake up rested, have a plan on how to spend my time today, and if nothing else, rest. At 42 years of age after 20+ years of drinking and smoking pot as a hobby, rest is important to me. I am a hyper sort though so it doesn't come up much, but when i get ansy and don't know what to do, I lay down and let it pass.
Oh yeah, and I am funny again. Well I think so anyways I am not drunk, so I don't have to watch my mouth as much anymore, or apologize. Well maybe I should sometimes, nbut I am not mean, some people are just sissies :p
The ultimate best thing about it is, I don't hate myself anymore, and THAT is what has opened up more doors for me than I know what to do with. Challenge accepted
Thanks guys. I am trying to be sure to come on here for a bit each evening and do my best to help others. Last year when I became sober, I let SR go because I was "fixed"... I at least learned that I am never going to be "fixed", but I can stop drinking and feel ok in the fact that I don;t want to get drunk again. I didn't fall of the wagon, I JUMPED!!! lol
This time around I am firmly in my seat, seatbelt fastened and reaching my hand out to anyone wanting to come aboard. I am even going to volunteer at the local homeless shelter starting this weekend. I just feel I need to keep myself humble, and remind myself I am fragile like everyone else.
This time around I am firmly in my seat, seatbelt fastened and reaching my hand out to anyone wanting to come aboard. I am even going to volunteer at the local homeless shelter starting this weekend. I just feel I need to keep myself humble, and remind myself I am fragile like everyone else.
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