Willing to give up everything and anything.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 419
Mrrrrrr . . . and oh yeah, . . . .yah1
I fell in love with the idea that my life could be so very simple. Be sober. Be sober and then . . . . everything else. But first and foremost, be sober. I had that same epiphanic (spellcheck didn't like that, but I loved it) that same epiphanic feeling. And I for one, don't think that's crazy at all.
There was this "crazy" young quarterback leading the Chicago Bears in the 80's and that team had it's most successful year in, like, forever, winning the Superbowl after practically blowing out everyone else all year. And I just noticed something he would do. There was a story on it or anything. It was just something i noticed. He would walk up and down the sideline during the game whenever the defense was out there and he would just repeat endlessly, "Gotta win, gotta win, gotta win, gotta win . . . and on and on like that. Crazy? Maybe. A little. Certainly a little off of the beaten path. But it sure was obsessive and, well, it worked. Sometimes a little crazy works great. It can't be any worse than drinking . . . for an alcoholic.
When under normal circumstances your mental and emotional bandwidth can be so taxed in so many different directions, it's like a revelation that hey, you need to do one thing with nearly all of that bandwidth: You need to be sober. It's liberating in its simplicity. Sometimes there's just nothing like a little focused obsession to give you the edge that you need.
Of course we still have to put our shoes on and we still have to let the dog out and bring the cat in, and as aasharon was saying, you might not want to be in a big hurry to quit your job either, and, I would add, even if it isn't the dream job of a lifetime, or even for this time. Those paychecks can come in really, really, really handy -- unless that job is "the" reason you are drinking. But really, isn't the only real reason you drink because you reach for it and pour it in your mouth and swallow?
I understand there was a time when everyone didn't have plumbing. Now maybe that is when this saying was born, but, in regards to making other serious life-changing decisions right now, like quitting your job "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater."
OK?
For example, I have quit smoking lots of times. I have been a good boy for going on 4 years with that just like with my latest venture into sobriety, but this one time I quit, I would just repeat and repeat as often as I could force my mind to think the words: I am not going to smoke. I am not going to smoke, I am not going to smoke. It's amazing to me how you can fight off even an addictive crisis-type temptation if you just flood your mind with the urgent thought it would take. Like, "I am not going to drink today. I am not going to drink today, I am not going to drink today."
You were saying that you would do anything to stay sober. I will say this: If you said that mantra, over and over all day long, with every ounce of energy and focus in your brain, barring being locked into some thought process necessary for doing your job, or applying the breaks on your car, if you repeated that phrase endlessly, you wouldn't drink that day. Why not say it ten thousand times a day if that's what it takes? Yo know what you are about. You are about not drinking, so think that phrase, and think it all of the *&^%%$ time. If you never let drinking slip into your thinking all day, because you just didn't give it room, Mrrryah, you wouldn't drink that day.
Think of the non-stop chatter box person who just will never shut up and just won't let you get a word in edgewise. It's kinda like that. Your addictive voice, your AV, just can't get a word in. I am not saying it would be just the right method for you for always, but it sounds kinda like you are in emergency mode here and I think this is a very good emergency response. Hey, when the house is on fire, it demands a focused mind.
Now I am not saying you can live your whole life like that, nor would you want to, but the next five minutes are the next five minutes, day one is day one, and that's where the journey must begin. Like a soldier in a big battle, it might be life or death all day long. Not forever, but it's about staying in the fight that day, right?
This business of having a simple priority: Winston Churchill was Prime Minister in Great Britain for a large part of WWII and he was saying that the catastrophic event that the war was, took his extremely complicated life and simplified it down to one thing: Stop Hitler. There can be true liberation and peace of mind, once you know what you are resolved to do -- in knowing what it is you are for, even if it's just in the moment.
A thought about my dog. When she is in the yard and I want her to come in, or come get in the truck, she will be sniffing something or rolling in the grass or the snow as she will do -- busy with business as usual -- for her. And, at the risk of seeming insane to my neighbors, I just keep repeating, "Come on, come on, come on, come on." And each time I say it, it pulls at her a little more from everything else in the world she might want to do instead. It finally drills down into her doggie brain, and then, like an epiphany, coming on finally just becomes the greatest idea ever and she will run to me. The repetition has incredible power for her dad, who may not want to put shoes on and go out in the cold muddy yard to fetch her. Eastern religions have known for centuries that mantras and chants can have near miraculous powers. Even science knows, mantras and chants repeated with regularity, over time, can rewire your brain. What have you got to lose?
It sounds to me that you do not lack for motivation. It sounds to me like you are ready for change. Maybe my suggestion might help in some small way. I hope it does.
I fell in love with the idea that my life could be so very simple. Be sober. Be sober and then . . . . everything else. But first and foremost, be sober. I had that same epiphanic (spellcheck didn't like that, but I loved it) that same epiphanic feeling. And I for one, don't think that's crazy at all.
There was this "crazy" young quarterback leading the Chicago Bears in the 80's and that team had it's most successful year in, like, forever, winning the Superbowl after practically blowing out everyone else all year. And I just noticed something he would do. There was a story on it or anything. It was just something i noticed. He would walk up and down the sideline during the game whenever the defense was out there and he would just repeat endlessly, "Gotta win, gotta win, gotta win, gotta win . . . and on and on like that. Crazy? Maybe. A little. Certainly a little off of the beaten path. But it sure was obsessive and, well, it worked. Sometimes a little crazy works great. It can't be any worse than drinking . . . for an alcoholic.
When under normal circumstances your mental and emotional bandwidth can be so taxed in so many different directions, it's like a revelation that hey, you need to do one thing with nearly all of that bandwidth: You need to be sober. It's liberating in its simplicity. Sometimes there's just nothing like a little focused obsession to give you the edge that you need.
Of course we still have to put our shoes on and we still have to let the dog out and bring the cat in, and as aasharon was saying, you might not want to be in a big hurry to quit your job either, and, I would add, even if it isn't the dream job of a lifetime, or even for this time. Those paychecks can come in really, really, really handy -- unless that job is "the" reason you are drinking. But really, isn't the only real reason you drink because you reach for it and pour it in your mouth and swallow?
I understand there was a time when everyone didn't have plumbing. Now maybe that is when this saying was born, but, in regards to making other serious life-changing decisions right now, like quitting your job "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater."
OK? For example, I have quit smoking lots of times. I have been a good boy for going on 4 years with that just like with my latest venture into sobriety, but this one time I quit, I would just repeat and repeat as often as I could force my mind to think the words: I am not going to smoke. I am not going to smoke, I am not going to smoke. It's amazing to me how you can fight off even an addictive crisis-type temptation if you just flood your mind with the urgent thought it would take. Like, "I am not going to drink today. I am not going to drink today, I am not going to drink today."
You were saying that you would do anything to stay sober. I will say this: If you said that mantra, over and over all day long, with every ounce of energy and focus in your brain, barring being locked into some thought process necessary for doing your job, or applying the breaks on your car, if you repeated that phrase endlessly, you wouldn't drink that day. Why not say it ten thousand times a day if that's what it takes? Yo know what you are about. You are about not drinking, so think that phrase, and think it all of the *&^%%$ time. If you never let drinking slip into your thinking all day, because you just didn't give it room, Mrrryah, you wouldn't drink that day.
Think of the non-stop chatter box person who just will never shut up and just won't let you get a word in edgewise. It's kinda like that. Your addictive voice, your AV, just can't get a word in. I am not saying it would be just the right method for you for always, but it sounds kinda like you are in emergency mode here and I think this is a very good emergency response. Hey, when the house is on fire, it demands a focused mind.
Now I am not saying you can live your whole life like that, nor would you want to, but the next five minutes are the next five minutes, day one is day one, and that's where the journey must begin. Like a soldier in a big battle, it might be life or death all day long. Not forever, but it's about staying in the fight that day, right?
This business of having a simple priority: Winston Churchill was Prime Minister in Great Britain for a large part of WWII and he was saying that the catastrophic event that the war was, took his extremely complicated life and simplified it down to one thing: Stop Hitler. There can be true liberation and peace of mind, once you know what you are resolved to do -- in knowing what it is you are for, even if it's just in the moment.
A thought about my dog. When she is in the yard and I want her to come in, or come get in the truck, she will be sniffing something or rolling in the grass or the snow as she will do -- busy with business as usual -- for her. And, at the risk of seeming insane to my neighbors, I just keep repeating, "Come on, come on, come on, come on." And each time I say it, it pulls at her a little more from everything else in the world she might want to do instead. It finally drills down into her doggie brain, and then, like an epiphany, coming on finally just becomes the greatest idea ever and she will run to me. The repetition has incredible power for her dad, who may not want to put shoes on and go out in the cold muddy yard to fetch her. Eastern religions have known for centuries that mantras and chants can have near miraculous powers. Even science knows, mantras and chants repeated with regularity, over time, can rewire your brain. What have you got to lose?
It sounds to me that you do not lack for motivation. It sounds to me like you are ready for change. Maybe my suggestion might help in some small way. I hope it does.
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