Past the point of no return - Day 19
 

Over the past week, there have been numerous opportunities for me to start drinking again and get away with it, at least for a little while.

Just last night, I was in hotel in Leeds, with Wife and went to the shops to buy snacks, now normally I take the route via the bars and sink a few both to and from the shops, not last night.

I just went to the shop and asked for non-alcoholic grape juice with hibiscus, which is my drink, when I want to celebrate now.

I poured the bottle that looked like wine into two glasses, one for me and one for my Wife and she told me how proud she was that I hadnt started drinking again, she also asked me what it was like.

I said the first week was no picnic, I had this voice in my head, just trying to convince me to drink. The second week, was about me, trying to convince myself, that I no longer had a problem and could drink in moderation.
I didnt listen to it, just kept myself sober.

This week, especially since Hypnosis, I havent had any cravings, voices or struggle to stay sober. Its like my body, mind and spirit have all accepted that my drinking days are over. I told her, that it is like I had reached my life long limit of being drunk, turned a corner and past the point of no return.

For me to go back drinking now would be nothing short of self-harming, because I have no cause to or even desire too.

I said happy to birthday to her and I could tell she trusts me again. 19 days after that trust was shattered on New Years, she has her Husband back.

I normal, which I will take. I don't feel like an enlightened soul, telling the world all my problems are solved by not drinking.

I just feel normal and instead of hiding from my problems, I can deal with them soberly and eliminate them fast. I will take normal, I want to be normal for a while if this so called pink mist comes, then great. Normal is fine for me right now.

I will never start back drinking again, because financially I am so much better off and it does actually feel quite liberating, not to be dependant on any substance or drink. I feel independent.

Really good post Lancashire & brilliant job on 19 days sober bud

Great job on Day 19 Lancashire!! Keep pushing through!! :scoregood

great to hear you sound so positive, L.
yes, there are opportunities every day to drink. many.
so what?

Nice Lancashire on 19 days!!

Great job on 19 days, Lancashire. You sound great.

Thanks for the post Lancashire. I hope for us all many more days like this. Days of realization that life is just fine without being buzzed.

I went to dinner with my mom tonight, and we went on a shopping trip for some things I needed. Totally normal most say. A few months ago, no way. I might have been able to have had dinner with her, but OMG I needed to get home and buzz.

Like you, I no longer have the desire to do that to myself anymore, it is self harming. I miss too much. When I was sitting home alone drinking all I wanted wasto be able to do normal things. I won;t lie and say it has been easy, but it sure as hell has been easier than what I used to do with my time :)

"I said happy to birthday to her and I could tell she trusts me again. 19 days after that trust was shattered on New Years, she has her Husband back"

Lancashire this is great to hear! You should feel very proud, and your wife deserves to see you sober and happy as well!

Great job my man

Great job! And nice thoughtful post.

Sounding good as always Lancashire

Well done and rock on my friend!

Way to go on your progress Lancashire :)

D

Good on ya' Lancashire ! Forge on !

DD

Nice post, Lancs, and well done :)

Way to go your right about the voices I've listened to them long enough telling me your not an alcoholic stick to two bèers a night yeh sure after one I was of again.Proud of you keep it up.?

Well done!!

I hope that you are also taking steps to actively reinforce this feeling of normalcy and resolve.

If you are anything like me, periods of confidence and positivity can be challenged with periods of sneaky return of 'the voices' in subtle ways.

I'm glad for you!!!! Congratulations on 19 days!

You have a great attitude my friend.

Yeeehaw! Way to go! I feel the same way! I have however become a Monster and Green tea addict of late , and of course a new coffee called "Dark Magic" from Green Mountain" coffee's! Great job! :)

same here I substituted drinks discovering new coffees for my keurig machine energy drinks, sparkling waters and a few non alcoholic beers too.... All satisfying.

Congrats on 20 days sober! :)