Bullying ex...won't let him win but so hard tonight! :-(
 

Ex husband been a complete ***** tonight! First time I've ever stood up to him in 10 years but now I'm shaking and scared what sneaky **** he's gna pull next. He's so sly. My mums going to the school tomorrow because he's a charmer and anything he says they'll believe so she's going to get in there first. I can't cz I'm in work. They already have records on him from years ago regarding his mental bullying, accusations and mind games.
Just hope he doesn't take it out on my daughter who's there tonight or start making accusations about me to people again (all of which were false but he's so bloody charming and convincing). Can't afford solicitor fees if he does.
I could sink 2 bottles within an hour at the moment but that would just mean he's won!!!!
Never hated anyone in my life except for him and just waiting for another text which is making me so anxious. My hearts pounding and I'm shaking.
Wish he didn't get to me the way he does but it was his behaviour which started a lot of my problems and I don't want to be constantly on edge again.
He makes me doubt myself and gets in my head. Usually I'd be so drunk by now so I'm proud of myself that I'm not giving in but it's so much harder this way! :-(

You're doing absolutely the right thing by REFUSING to drink :hug:

I know I just hate that after 10 years he can still make me cry and get in such a state. I thought I'd be free of his **** by now. Always accuses me of stuff but he always makes me doubt myself and I hate it. I need the escape but I'm not going to but it's so hard because I don't know what to do instead x

Stay sober not only for yourself but also for your daughter even though she isn't with you right now. My ex is the same. This moment will pass. You will feel better. In time you will better understand that it was all mind games and not you at all. He will bother you less and less. That is what I'm finding out in my situation. Stay strong.

Try not to give him any more head space than what is absolutely necessary to do what is right for your daughter.

Drinking AT him will only hurt you. Stay sober. Tomorrow morning he will still be a jerk but you will be hang-over free, sober, a winner.

Proud of you for coming here, JadedGirl.

I know it's mind games but it's 10 years now. Wish he would just **** off and leave me alone! X

Im sorry this is happening JG

I had a psycho stalker ex, he was a lunatic literally, violent and really smart, I was terrified of him!
Don't let him win, good for you staying strong xoxo

More power to you...... :)

JadedGirl this past week you have proven to yourself how strong and resilient you are. Don't let some insecure jerk's crap get to you. And more importantly, don't let the voice of alcohol convince you that you need it to deal with this. You've overcome so much. This is nothing. This guy is just a pesky mosquito that you can swat away. Let him cry himself to sleep.

And if you feel you or your daughter are in any way threatened by him, take legal action.

Stand tall and stand firm JadedGirl!

I'm sorry too.

I agree with the others here DG - we can't change other people but we can change ourselves.

Just as we learn to dismiss the AV and it's lies, I believe you can do the same with your ex husband.

There's obviously got to be some contact because of your daughter, but I'd keep it matter of fact and at a bare minimum.

He's an ex...for good reason.

There's no need to play into his mind games. Don't let your buttons be pushed anymore.

Counter every negative thought he places in your head with two positive ones :)

D

My friend just talked some sense into me. I'm stronger now than I was before, she's right about that. He's not worth it! I remember a saying 'noone can make you feel inferior without your consent'....well he doesn't have my consent! He can try as many head games as he wants! I'm gna dry my eyes, make a coffee, have yet another cigarette and be mindful! X

You know, if this marks the first time you've stood up to him in ten years, there is a chance that the relationship dynamic might change. Stand your ground.

Don't cave even if he gets angrier for awhile. Just be calm and strong. You have the power of knowing you are right. Whatever you do, do not drink.

I know thankyou! I just hate my daughter being upset when she's there. (He's never physical but heard him shouting at her earlier and saying stuff while on phone to me for something that wasn't needed.)....she phoned me back later and seems fine. It's me that's upset, she's home tomorrow too so can't wait to give her a big cwtch.
If he pulls anything will just have to deal with it when it comes! Hopefully he will realise I won't take his **** anymore. Although upset it kinda feels good to have eventually stood up to him!! X

Good for you JadedGirl - you stood up to him AND you didn't drink.

You win ( twice over ) He loses

Now 12.15am and so glad didn't give in (tho still too wide awake lol). So wound up earlier wasn't thinking or concentrating properly and fell down the steps,outside my parents house lol clumsy as hell I am! At least this time I fell over I was sober. Now have a swollen bruised foot (of course it's my ex's fault for being a dick ;-). Gutted tho as been going to the gym every other day and ATM am hopping around the place so gym may have to wait a few days :tapping

Have you started to ice your foot - I can't remember the recommended times but I think that it's 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off.

Great job on not drinking!! Alcohol won't fix anything, in my experience only makes things worse!!

Hang in there!! :)

I stuck some peas on there earlier lol. It's feeling a lot better already tho so hopefully by the morning I won't be hopping ;-)
My father offered to lend me a walking stick bless him :groan
Can imagine the looks I'd get walking into work tomorrow with a bloody walking stick pmsl x

You did great today. You showed a lot of restraint early in sobriety. You are stronger than you know