Day two
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Day two
It was a bad scene.
I'm trying to get everything back on track, but I still feel so disoriented and just straight up scared. I feel vulnerable because it seemed like I had no control, it just got me. I'm used to being able to think through things and make sense of them, but I'm having a hard time getting a grip on this. I don't know what I did wrong. Everything was fine, and then something minor came along, and I just lost it.
I don't know. I'm feeling pretty bad still.
I'm trying to get everything back on track, but I still feel so disoriented and just straight up scared. I feel vulnerable because it seemed like I had no control, it just got me. I'm used to being able to think through things and make sense of them, but I'm having a hard time getting a grip on this. I don't know what I did wrong. Everything was fine, and then something minor came along, and I just lost it.
I don't know. I'm feeling pretty bad still.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I think it's important not to dwell on it too much - learn whatever lessons you can for sure, but beating yourself up is fruitless.
Look at your support - is it enough - do you use it effectively? do you need to change any thing in your lifestyle or reactions to things?
I've been away for a while - did you end up talking to anyone - Dr, counsellor etc - before you drank?
I think we have to cover all bases if we want to stay sober
D
Look at your support - is it enough - do you use it effectively? do you need to change any thing in your lifestyle or reactions to things?
I've been away for a while - did you end up talking to anyone - Dr, counsellor etc - before you drank?
I think we have to cover all bases if we want to stay sober
D
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Hi Dee, no I didn't talk to anyone. I just got upset and went straight to the store. I was completely focused on getting it done as quickly as possible. I was firmly dismissive of any other options, if I even considered them, and I don't recall whether I did. Part of why I'm so freaked out by it is because I'm not sure what went wrong, why I responded that way. I've handled worse situations without drinking.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Hi Briar,
Sorry for what you're going through. When I was first trying to get sober i seriously struggled - if I wanted to drink nobody was going to stop me. Come hell or high water if I wanted to drink I was going to. Eventually I got so tired, I was continiously hurting myself and it just wasnt worth it anymore. You have to get to that point, being tired of doing the same thing over and over with the same feelings and results.
I had to learn other techniques to keep the thoughts at bay. AA, SR, reaching out helps.
Your back and thats all that matters - you can do this.
Wishing you well.
L x
Sorry for what you're going through. When I was first trying to get sober i seriously struggled - if I wanted to drink nobody was going to stop me. Come hell or high water if I wanted to drink I was going to. Eventually I got so tired, I was continiously hurting myself and it just wasnt worth it anymore. You have to get to that point, being tired of doing the same thing over and over with the same feelings and results.
I had to learn other techniques to keep the thoughts at bay. AA, SR, reaching out helps.
Your back and thats all that matters - you can do this.
Wishing you well.
L x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
For too long I was where you are now struggling. Fortunately my time period from 4-10PM was free and I got swallowed up in AA meetings. Being undisciplined it took time to see the error of MY ways by continuous attendance.
Discovered years ago, to be successful we need to really want to be sober, be honest with our self about our drinking and accept the fact that we cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row.
It works IF we work it, never mind the wishy washy “I don’t like it.” Usually when we to the things we don’t want to do there is a great feeling of accomplishment.
BE WELL
For too long I was where you are now struggling. Fortunately my time period from 4-10PM was free and I got swallowed up in AA meetings. Being undisciplined it took time to see the error of MY ways by continuous attendance.
Discovered years ago, to be successful we need to really want to be sober, be honest with our self about our drinking and accept the fact that we cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row.
It works IF we work it, never mind the wishy washy “I don’t like it.” Usually when we to the things we don’t want to do there is a great feeling of accomplishment.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
I have done daily AA to stay sober. It worked until I didn't want to be sober anymore. I now use mostly SR but will probably go today as I have a baby/dogsitter. I also ascribe to AVRT philosophy. Whatever works. I think just filling holes of time spent drinking in the beginning is hard. Everything else to do sans alcohol got shorted out in my head cuz I had to adjust everything to include it. I'm still "trying" most of life sober. Total beginner at age 53. Thanks for coming back so soon.
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I think it was building for a long time, don't you?
D
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
((((Dear Briar)))).
Sometimes we can scale those mountains in no time and others we loose traction by a grain of sand in our shoe.
It is amazing how easily we can be blindsided by our own reactions.
Great advice above.
You can make this a mere bump on the road, Briar; get back up and keep moving forward.
You can and will do this.
Sometimes we can scale those mountains in no time and others we loose traction by a grain of sand in our shoe.
It is amazing how easily we can be blindsided by our own reactions.
Great advice above.
You can make this a mere bump on the road, Briar; get back up and keep moving forward.
You can and will do this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Briar, you don't need to understand all the detail of what happened and ill apart all the strands. You can drop the bottle and talk it out while you stay sober. When you are ready the pieces will fall back into place. Its a time to chill about it not stress.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Originally Posted by Briar
I don't know, was it? I thought I was doing a pretty good job. Apparently I was doing it wrong.
I was just thinking back to other threads and other posts. You seemed to be often overwrought, often at the end of your tether.
Again I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong - I just wonder why you haven't sought help for everything?
If you feel it was a sudden thing tho then maybe I'm seeing patterns that don't exist and in that case I apologise.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Phew I'm glad. I haven't been here for a week so I could very well be way off beam
I think it's really important to learn to reach out tho - I had to do that not only with regards to alcoholism but also with my 'awfulising' and my negative thoughts too...working on just one side never worked for me - it was all interconnected.
D
I think it's really important to learn to reach out tho - I had to do that not only with regards to alcoholism but also with my 'awfulising' and my negative thoughts too...working on just one side never worked for me - it was all interconnected.
D
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
No you're right on. I'm sorry my comeback was a little harsh. I'm just feeling awful and am tired of complaining about feeling awful because nobody wants to hear that crap. I feel like I should feel better by now. I've got plenty of people trying to help me, and I feel like I'm trying. But it's not getting better, and now I think I don't know what I'm doing at all.
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