Hey guys, new to the forum!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 6
Hey guys, new to the forum!
Hey everyone! Thanks for taking the time to read this if you can make it through my wall of text. I kinda wanted to take the time to write for myself too and get it all out. I am new to the forum, it has been a minute since I've used a forum!!! Wow! I used to be really active on a lot back in the day. I have been trying to quit drinking mostly alone and figured this would be a good outlet to write to find friends and to share stories and what not with.
My name is Benny and I'm a gay guy that lives in Minneapolis MN. I'm 25 years old. I'm a recent fine art painting college graduate with an unrelated day job. My struggles with addiction go way back to my early teenage years. In 2007 shortly after I graduated highschool I went to treatment for drug addiction (Meth being the most prominent one). That was probably the longest point I've been completely sober. I did stop doing drugs except pot and alcohol from that point on after about 6 months of being completely sober.
Now I am having a hard time stopping drinking! And it is getting too an extreme point and out of control. I will go days without drinking most weeks, but anytime I have a few days off I will drink like no other. Three days & nights in a row, an insane amount of drinking. (For example, I drank ~16 tall boy PBRs on Sunday night, and had drank just about as much Friday and Saturday as well). I have been noticing side effects of withdrawal that last for up to two days that I've never experienced before (shakes, excessive night sweats, extreme anxiety, etc). A lot more than just a hangover. I have decided it is time to make another serious effort to stop for good.
I have been trying constantly to quit, but it has been especially bad this past year or two. The longest I made it was 2 months this summer April - June. Then I get stuck in a situation where I just lose my train of thought and end up drinking, not thinking it is a big deal. And everytime end up going on a bender with it. I am constantly making up times I will stop (Ex: After so and so's birthday party this weekend, I will defiantly stop!) My goal is to kinda of remove myself from these situations completely for awhile since I obviously can't handle it.
I can tell I have been losing some close friends due to my drinking, and completely losing control of the right path of my life. It causes me to be a sloppy mess and basically just make an ass out of myself. Followed by days of feeling like complete garbage physically & mentally from it. Laying in bed for whole days, not having energy to barely watch tv, etc. Making me preform terribly at work at times and losing sight of my goals that matter. Hanging out with bar friends instead of true friends. Getting myself into sketchy sexual situations and ruining chances at being with decent people.
I want to check into some sort of outpatient but honestly don't see how that is realistic financially. I have a strenuous work schedule to support myself. I can't just take that much time even if it's part time to do something like that, or I won't be able to pay my bills. There has to be a way to do it without treatment centers? Am I wrong? What has worked for other people who have done it a non-traditional way? I am horrified of going to AA meetings. Not sure if I will ever be able to get up the courage to go.
Anyway, I'll probably stop there and save my other endless thoughts about it for other posts as I get to know you guys :P. The last time I drank was on Sunday. Thanks again if you made it this far in reading this and would love to hear from anyone with advise.
My name is Benny and I'm a gay guy that lives in Minneapolis MN. I'm 25 years old. I'm a recent fine art painting college graduate with an unrelated day job. My struggles with addiction go way back to my early teenage years. In 2007 shortly after I graduated highschool I went to treatment for drug addiction (Meth being the most prominent one). That was probably the longest point I've been completely sober. I did stop doing drugs except pot and alcohol from that point on after about 6 months of being completely sober.
Now I am having a hard time stopping drinking! And it is getting too an extreme point and out of control. I will go days without drinking most weeks, but anytime I have a few days off I will drink like no other. Three days & nights in a row, an insane amount of drinking. (For example, I drank ~16 tall boy PBRs on Sunday night, and had drank just about as much Friday and Saturday as well). I have been noticing side effects of withdrawal that last for up to two days that I've never experienced before (shakes, excessive night sweats, extreme anxiety, etc). A lot more than just a hangover. I have decided it is time to make another serious effort to stop for good.
I have been trying constantly to quit, but it has been especially bad this past year or two. The longest I made it was 2 months this summer April - June. Then I get stuck in a situation where I just lose my train of thought and end up drinking, not thinking it is a big deal. And everytime end up going on a bender with it. I am constantly making up times I will stop (Ex: After so and so's birthday party this weekend, I will defiantly stop!) My goal is to kinda of remove myself from these situations completely for awhile since I obviously can't handle it.
I can tell I have been losing some close friends due to my drinking, and completely losing control of the right path of my life. It causes me to be a sloppy mess and basically just make an ass out of myself. Followed by days of feeling like complete garbage physically & mentally from it. Laying in bed for whole days, not having energy to barely watch tv, etc. Making me preform terribly at work at times and losing sight of my goals that matter. Hanging out with bar friends instead of true friends. Getting myself into sketchy sexual situations and ruining chances at being with decent people.
I want to check into some sort of outpatient but honestly don't see how that is realistic financially. I have a strenuous work schedule to support myself. I can't just take that much time even if it's part time to do something like that, or I won't be able to pay my bills. There has to be a way to do it without treatment centers? Am I wrong? What has worked for other people who have done it a non-traditional way? I am horrified of going to AA meetings. Not sure if I will ever be able to get up the courage to go.
Anyway, I'll probably stop there and save my other endless thoughts about it for other posts as I get to know you guys :P. The last time I drank was on Sunday. Thanks again if you made it this far in reading this and would love to hear from anyone with advise.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Thanka for posting and welcome.
You might want to drop by your Dr and get some blood tests to check your liver and kidneys. Dont mean to scare you with that, but your Dr can also help you with the withdrawal symptoms as well. Getting sober has helped me and I felt like crappie when I quit so I know where you are coming from. I had/have a problem with alcohol and pot and benzos. I currently dont do any of them but they are my vices. Time, effort and desire helped me kick those.
You might want to drop by your Dr and get some blood tests to check your liver and kidneys. Dont mean to scare you with that, but your Dr can also help you with the withdrawal symptoms as well. Getting sober has helped me and I felt like crappie when I quit so I know where you are coming from. I had/have a problem with alcohol and pot and benzos. I currently dont do any of them but they are my vices. Time, effort and desire helped me kick those.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Welcome, BennyB, to SR. You will find support, encouragement and understanding here.
Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking and for reaching that decision at such a young age when the world and your future is on your doorstep.
There are many methods and techniques to achieve and maintain sobriety. I hope you don't write off AA simply because of fear. Many people have been afraid but are pleasantly surprised when they get up the courage to go.
Glad you found SR.
Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking and for reaching that decision at such a young age when the world and your future is on your doorstep.
There are many methods and techniques to achieve and maintain sobriety. I hope you don't write off AA simply because of fear. Many people have been afraid but are pleasantly surprised when they get up the courage to go.
Glad you found SR.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Benny, here is a link for methods other than AA:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi, and welcome to SR. You can do it on your own without going into treatment but you have to come up with a plan. I highly recommend seeing your doctor because they can check you out and help you with the withdrawal symptoms.
One thing you have to do is just quit. That sounds so stupid but what I mean is that instead of waiting for a certain day or date or event to pass you do it now, today. No ifs, ands or buts. Once you quit then you practice denial. I don't mean lying to yourself that you can drink safely. What I mean is denying yourself a drink. Under no circumstances will you let yourself drink.
That is the mindset that worked for me. I also attend AA meetings for some support and come on SR for support as well. I've made connections through both AA meetings and SR that I can contact or call if I'm struggling.
I lived in mpls and st.paul for a while and I know there is a huge recovery community there. It should not be hard to reach out for support. We are here if you need us, and even if you don't.
One thing you have to do is just quit. That sounds so stupid but what I mean is that instead of waiting for a certain day or date or event to pass you do it now, today. No ifs, ands or buts. Once you quit then you practice denial. I don't mean lying to yourself that you can drink safely. What I mean is denying yourself a drink. Under no circumstances will you let yourself drink.
That is the mindset that worked for me. I also attend AA meetings for some support and come on SR for support as well. I've made connections through both AA meetings and SR that I can contact or call if I'm struggling.
I lived in mpls and st.paul for a while and I know there is a huge recovery community there. It should not be hard to reach out for support. We are here if you need us, and even if you don't.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 6
Thank you all very much for the quick responses! They all made me feel really good and will take into mind all your advise you've given me already to heart!
After spending the last 26 hours mostly in bed... Most of my symptoms of withdrawal are gone. Called into work today cause it was not getting better untill about 6pm today. Had a lot of messed up dreams, night sweats, extreme depression and anxiety. Still feel a little out of it tho. But I think the worst is over.
Ruby2: One thing you have to do is just quit. That sounds so stupid but what I mean is that instead of waiting for a certain day or date or event to pass you do it now, today. No ifs, ands or buts. Once you quit then you practice denial. I don't mean lying to yourself that you can drink safely. What I mean is denying yourself a drink. Under no circumstances will you let yourself drink.
I really liked this advise. I will attempt to check out some support in Minneapolis. I hear from some friends that AA is not what I think it is either. But there is still that factor of actually getting me to go lol. Maybe once my mind is more cleared up in a few weeks I can get myself to go.
Originally Posted by mns1 
Hi Benny,
You've come to a good place you will find nothing but support here
You say you haven't drank since Sunday how are you feeling now?
You've come to a good place you will find nothing but support here
You say you haven't drank since Sunday how are you feeling now?
Ruby2: One thing you have to do is just quit. That sounds so stupid but what I mean is that instead of waiting for a certain day or date or event to pass you do it now, today. No ifs, ands or buts. Once you quit then you practice denial. I don't mean lying to yourself that you can drink safely. What I mean is denying yourself a drink. Under no circumstances will you let yourself drink.
I really liked this advise. I will attempt to check out some support in Minneapolis. I hear from some friends that AA is not what I think it is either. But there is still that factor of actually getting me to go lol. Maybe once my mind is more cleared up in a few weeks I can get myself to go.
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Glad to hear you are feeling better.
I agree with Ruby. By delaying action you might suck yourself into a viscious circle where you just keep delaying and delaying.
Check in here often and read around there's so much information and wisdom.
Best of luck!
I agree with Ruby. By delaying action you might suck yourself into a viscious circle where you just keep delaying and delaying.
Check in here often and read around there's so much information and wisdom.
Best of luck!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
