Justincredible

Im in my second month clean n sober and have been having vivid, detailed, and intense dreams. Don't get me wrong its nice to dream again but it seems every night I have a drug/alcohol dream!

In these dreams I actively buy alcohol, go into a bar, buy drugs, plan on using them but never actually ingest them! It's not for a lack of trying but I just never seem to actually use/drink in my dreams. I remember all the detailed plans I hatch in my dreams to be alone so I can use, or lying to people so I can schedule in my reckless behaviour.

At first I was waking up thinking "Thank goodness I didn't use!", but now Im feeling like crap sometimes and it weighs on my mind throughout the day.

What is my subconscious telling me? Is this normal?

Maybe its just myself telling myself to stay away from slippery slopes i.e.' people, places, and things that could be triggers. Hopefully the dreams calm down.

Soberwolf

Hi Justincredible i have dreams/nightmares pretty much my whole life

They have calmed down massivly in sobriety i still get them from time to time but yes they fade

The best thing is they are just dreams

Hang in there bud

Soberwolf

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livingnow

Dream Interpretation | Dream Meanings | Dreams Dictionary

Aellyce

Hi Justin,

I've had many dreams with alcohol where I was not drinking it myself. In some of them I was surrounded by a bunch of drinkers/drunks, sort of observing. I attributed many of the alcohol dreams to something like cravings, they are stories from our unconscious mind after all. Other times, fear of potentially drinking again. Depends what was the associated emotional context. Yeah I know they are annoying, but as long as we only drink/use in our dreams, to me it's good.

DuhDave

Dreams are mearly a way for the brain to occupy itself while we sleep. It does so with the things that it knows best. In early recovery it is common. When I quit smoking two years ago I had "Smoke Dreams" for the longest time and 2 years later still have them on occasion.

I would'nt read too much into the drinking dreams. They're harmless. They will deminish over time.

In the meantime...wishing you "Sweet Dreams"...of sobriety.

DD

Justincredible

Thanks for the responses, I guess I just feel like a failure from them. I gotta remind myself that they are just dreams.

Hopefully I can get to a point where I am just observing in them like haennie instead of trying to actively participate! I guess I also didn't want to admit that I may still have cravings to escape in unhealthy ways but as long as I don't act on them in real life I will gladly have these scenarios popping up in dreams instead.

I guess they are a good reminder of how I lower my standards even BEFORE I drink or use and I still have a lot of guilt for my conduct in the past. When I am in active addiction I think nothing of lying to the ones I love to try and cover up my drinking. Seriously going against my moral compass. Now I am just listening to my moral compass and it is SO much easier to live this way. No lies and deception weighing heavy on me which I think perpetuate the cycle of addiction.

Glad to know Im not the only one in recovery having these disturbing dreams.

mns1

It seems to me like nothing more than a subconscious manifestation of your psychological "battle" with alcoholism. Perhaps it's just taking all of your memories of drinking along with all the feelings that come along with this problem including loneliness, guilt, confusion, temptation, contemplation. Not sure but this is just how I see it.

Either way I agree that you shouldn't read into it too much.

Justincredible

I was worried it was my subconscious mind telling me that the moment the opportunity presents itself I am going to relapse. I feel really strong and have no desire to get back on the merry go round of alcohol/drug abuse. Thanks for the reassurance. So glad to have this place, nobody else would understand this type of thing and be able to offer support.

Justincredible

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Kero

In my experience it is quite normal. I have drinking dreams all the time. I don't read much into it.

EndGameNYC

You did a good job of figuring it out on your own. The "best" interpretation often comes from the dreamer, even when he or she doesn't put it as eloquently and completely as you did.

I've had similar dreams in which I exhaust myself to get booze, make all kinds of excuses and tell all kinds of lies as to what I'm doing and where I'm going to get the booze, hide it from anyone and everyone, but never actually get to drink it. And I'll come back the very next night and do it all over again.

Yes, your dreams are telling you that you are in flux, that you don't have to (or simply cannot) drink or use drugs anymore, despite your cravings and your attachments to them, and despite your behaviors while you're drinking and drugging.

Your dreams also suggest that your Dreams (with a big 'D') are changing, that putting down the drink and the drugs is just the beginning, and that all the energy you put into getting alcohol and drugs, using them, and then both suffering and "sharing" with others the awful consequences may now be better spent in acting on your new Dreams.

As haennie wrote, the emotional context in the dream is important. I use a person's moods states (which are more encompassing and which tend to claim a stake in the developing personality over the long term) in dreams to help direct me to a significant, earlier experience or experiences, and that have been in play throughout the course of the person's life.

Mood is very different than emotion, and provides a glimpse into the person's powerful unconscious contents and processes.

So, I'll ask. What was your mood during your dream?

In any case, good job.

Justincredible

EndGame,

Thanks so much for your response! I guess I kinda did end up interpreting my dream with the help of all the responses.

I never thought of what mood I may have been in during the dream. Or is it the mood before going to sleep? I think in my dreams I am kind of in an almost frenzied state or fanatical mood just trying to get to a point where I can drink, but I also feel detached like I am watching myself go through all the actions of pre using. Not sure if that is mood or emotion though. Very interesting take on dreams, I like it!

LBrain

one thing your dreams are telling you is that you are getting some restful sleep

FreeOwl

I have had a lot of intense drinking dreams in recovery. I think it's totally to be expected.

Our minds and our subconscious is doing a lot of changing and processing and part of that is going to be exploring the topic of our sobriety and our past use.

I generally see in my drinking dreams a reason to be grateful. Even when they're disturbing to the point of leaving me feeling unsettled for the whole day, I can focus on how grateful I am that the dream was a DREAM and not being back in the waking nightmare that active alcoholism is.

hang in there.... in my experience the dreams are a part of a process and as we work on active recovery, they lessen in both frequency and intensity.

AladdinSane

I have similar dreams, at times. Not about drugs or alcohol...but similar themes. Only when I am craving something. I think that your addictive self is expressing its frustration over not being able to indulge. That is a sign that you have taken some control over your addictive side. Be strong, and count these dreams as a victory.

Aellyce

I usually look at the mood / emotions I recall from within the dream state and the aftermath and impression it left on me after waking, sometimes for a long time (even days). It can also be meaningful to me when I don't recall strong emotions and the memory is more like watching a movie, even if "I" participate in it a lot. To me (knowing myself in a more complex way) those kinds of detached dream memories where I don't recall the moods can be signs of my not wanting to / being able to deal with my emotions and/or my actions. I say "to me", because this is also one way I tend to use defenses in waking life: suppression and detachment. May or may not be similar for you.

So if you are interested in dreams and using them for self-analysis, I would recommend experimenting with lucid dreaming. It's basically conscious awareness in the dream state, that we recognize it as a dream while asleep, and with a bit of experience, can influence the "events" of the dream or "converse" with our dream characters in an analytical way. You can read about it tons online, including how to train ourselves to have them. Some people have these kinds of lucid dreams spontaneously throughout their life (like me) or during specific periods, and I think many of us have them during detox and in early sobriety, due in part to fragmented sleep and our brains being more active than normally. I am very experienced with this and played around with my alcohol dreams also a lot. For example in those when "I" saw other dream characters drinking -- I would proceed to try to communicate with them about their behaviors. Basically, it's analyzing our own mental projections, memory fragments, desires, fears, etc etc. It all sounds bizarre if you never had these types of dreams, but it's true and can really be done. Some people also like to use these technique to deal with nightmares using the conscious awareness in the dream state. I've done that also many times. One of the best series was when I kept having very disturbing nightmares with my deceased mother in them several years ago, starting after her passing. It took me a couple years to process what my mind was communicating to me through those dreams, using the lucid dreaming techniques. It was pretty amazing what I had learned from it, and they never came back since. I think I spared quite some $ on therapy

LBrain

haennie - you made me think of something -- conscious awareness of my dreams - I do it often.
and I am able to manipulate dreams sometimes. I am also actually able to wake up from a dream and resume that dream if I go right back to sleep. Has anyone heard of this?

Fly N Buy

Glad you're here posting!
Yes, very normal - I view these dreams as our cache dumping, nothing more.
To me it's a good sign that body, mind and spirit are coming back together!

Keep coming back!

MrLofg0029

Most of your thoughts and dreams mean nothing at all. Like the German Shepard's I grew up with, left unoccupied, my brain will get up to all sorts of nonsense.

10.5 months sober. The frequency of my drinking/using dreams have diminished, considerably. I still have thoughts and dreams of drinking, but they aren't considerations... they are just the natural thoughts and dreams of someone with 10.5 months sober.