patricia68

I have been very depressed for the past week. Just feeling sad and crying all day for no reason.

I've been drinking for the past 4 days. And I don't like it. Being sober is so much better. I can control my anxiety and depression while sober...drinking makes everything overwhelming and out of control.

I went to see my Dr today. She reassured me that this is normal for this time of the year. I am taking medication and she also took some blood samples. She promised me that it will pass. But I do need to stop drinking.

On Saturday I have to renew my drivers license, after 10 years of hardly driving at all I am terrified. I don't think I can do this. I am scared I'm going to screw up the test and it will be so embarrassing...

A lot of rambling, I am sorry...I guess between the winter blues and a little bit of pressure i just crumbled...I am feeling ill and very anxious right now.

Please help me go back on track and enjoy being sober. My body can't take any more of this poison. I know I can do it, but I am scared of dealing with this first few days and the stress of the driving test alone. But I don't want to drink any more.

I miss going to bed with this big proud smile "you made it through today girl! good job!"...now I'm going to bed feeling ill and feeling like a loser.

Patricia

leb

Hi Patricia,

I am new to this but I have noticed in 9 days how my anxiety and fear levels have dropped. It's good to wake up well. Can you postpone your license renewal even for a couple of weeks. Maybe a medical certificate? Then you could get some practise in and also with being sober you will feel more confident maybe. You can do it, You are the people who inspire me. I'm so glad I found this site.

Spacegoat

Drinking will make your depression ten times worse Patricia, you've already notice how your thoughts are turning negative. Took me ages to see it that way (half my life already). Try to manage the WD symptoms until you get back on track, mention them to your Dr if you have a chance… Plus alcohol is surely the worst anxiety medicine as you already know. A quick fix but it comes back tenfold, plus depression. Don't give up x

Alynn

Stay close Patricia! Your not a loser, your human. Winter is depressing I agree!

patricia68

Thank you...

I just need to be strong for the next 2 days and don't drink...I've done it in the past. I don't know why I'm feeling so insecure right now.

Dee74

Hi Patricia

The more days you can put between your last drink and your test the better you will do

In the spirit of openness, it took me many goes to pass my test.
It was disappointing but not embarrassing.

I'm sure you'll do better than I did

D

mrjustin

Hi Patricia,

Dont stress, just do it. Geab some cool dvds and rug up, youve got your doc on board which is great.

Heres to new beginnings, look forward to hearing from you on here to see how your going

Jeni26

Hi Patricia. I also suffer with anxiety and depression and am taking meds.

When I relapsed over Christmas I just couldn't believe just how quickly my anxiety went through the roof. I'd been depressed and numb for a while and had got used to not feeling. Alcohol really messes with my brain. It scrambles all logic and reasonable thought patterns.

Sober, I can achieve anything I set my mind to. You are far more likely to pass your test if you are thinking clearly. And if you don't pass this time, there will be other opportunities. Don't let your addiction tell you it's lies. I could hear your AV in your post...'scared of the next few days and the driving test alone'.

You can do this. Stay with us x

Soberwolf

Hi Patricia jump bk in to the class of january

Try not to beat yourself up too much identify any thing you could add to strenghten your sobriety

Make a day 1 be accountable for it you have tons of support here Patricia

Thepatman

Patricia, I am so sorry for the difficult place you find yourself.

Stay strong, please put the drink down my friend. You will feel a lot better after the poison leaves your body and mind. My last brawl with the bottle brought me to me knees. The depression symptoms were so bad that really dark thoughts came to my mind. Day 9 and I feel so much better.

I believe in you Patricia, you can do this. You did it before and know what you have to do. Find the inner strength, trust in god, and make it day1.

lovehoops

Welcome pATRICIA...You can do this. You know how good sober feels. GReat to have you aboard.

sprout50

Patricia, I also suffer from anxiety and panic disorder. Alcohol magnifies it something awful. As for the driving test, what is the worst thing that can happen? You fail the test. Big deal. People fail the driving test all the time. You just take it again later. In the big scheme of things, the driving test isn't that important. You being sober is. Tackle one thing at a time. You have done this before and you can do it again!

Jupiters

I experienced this immediately as well when I relapsed in Nov. after 6.5 months of sobriety. Within a couple glasses of wine, the anxiety and depressive thoughts totally washed over me. It was almost instantaneous.
No thank you.

Patricia - don't drink today. You can do this. You can.

Nofearnobeer

Deeeeep Breathe.....Close eyes and clear your mind! Now go grab some coffee , and find something peaceful look at , or read...

You can do this...4 Days was just a moment , and all moments pass with time....Those 4 days have passed..

Take on today , as it's a new day waiting for you...Just one day a time...

aasharon90

Hi Patricia....I certainly understand about
the anxiety that comes with renewing a Dr.
Lic.

I don't drive myself much anymore, because
both my husband and I are retired, down to
one car and my husband likes to drive. Even
tho im 11yrs younger than my husband I know
there will be time I will have to drive. And so
I need to keep my license up to date.

Anyway, last month my husband came
with me to renew my lic. but I was extremely
nervous and anxiety went sky high even
with 24 yrs sobriety. Yes, even with being
sober as long as I have, I still experience
anxiety even with meds. It's a chemical
imbalance in my system that can be controlled
with proper meds to help that's not narcotic
or habit forming.

I stay close with my recovery program to
remain sober, my physician for medical
problems and Faith for my spiritual growth.

Everything step has a purpose in helping
me achieve a more healthy, happy, honest
life to live each day I remain sober.

I did get my lic. renewed and had my
hair blonde when they took my picture.
I didn't like it, but how often will I need
to show my lic. since I don't drive much
anymore. lol

Since then, I have gone back to my
natural brunette color.

Anna

Patricia,

I'm sending hugs. I'm also sending good thoughts and prayers your way. It's hard to not be down ourselves when we relapse, but we have to step away from that or we will be stuck in the downward cycle.

You can do this and we're here for you.

patricia68

It's been 12 hours since my last drink. I spent most of them sleeping but still, half a day to go.

Right now it's all I can think about, just 12 more hours sober.

patricia68

Exactly the same thing happened to me Jupiters. Almost instantaneously all the panic/fear thoughts of impending doom...it all came back at once

Jupiters

scary isn't it? I know it freaked me out, how quickly those emotions came back within minutes. MINUTES!
Stay strong, stay close to SR....you're getting there. You know, it will get better. You WILL feel better. You know this

mns1

Hi Particia,

Did the drinking come first or the depressed feeling?

Can you remember what you were feeling right before you started drinking again?