Alcohol = No Pleasure
 

In the beginning of my drinking career I derived a tremendous sense of physical pleasure from alcohol. Almost immediately after taking that first sip I would feel all of my anxiety melt away, and an almost euphoric feeling would come over me.

However, as the years passed that feeling began to fade. Before long, I stopped receiving ANY physical or emotional pleasure from alcohol. In fact, almost as soon as I started drinking I would feel overcome with dread and anxiety.

Yet, I continued to drink.

It's like I was chasing a non-existent high. I suppose what I was doing was chasing the MEMORY of a high.

Did anybody else go through this?

Yes. Anxiety was the primary driver for my drinking. It became a vicious circle for me towards the end.

Yes

So accurately worded. " Chasing the MEMORY of a high"

I am facing this now and on Day 2 - feel nervous, but feel great too.

And I would feel exactly the same way. Dread and fear would come on after a few drinks, and then the next day would be even more dreadful. Constantly thinking about should I have drunk tonight? Will I drink tomorrow? What will this do to my health? Will i get up middle of the night?

Been there and got the T-shirt!! :)

The pleasure for me also gave way to increased anxiety, control over my life, needing a drink rather than wanting a drink!!

In the end, my drinking was like using aloe vera to sooth a burn. I drank to sooth the frayed nerves of my addiction.

Pleasure? Relief? I'm not sure I could separate the two in the end.

Same here, I 100% agree with your title. No pleasure.

Maybe there was a time once when it was novel experience. A long time ago...

I absolutely do not associate it with pleasure in the least

So accurately worded. " Chasing the MEMORY of a high"

I am facing this now and on Day 2 - feel nervous, but feel great too.

And I would feel exactly the same way. Dread and fear would come on after a few drinks, and then the next day would be even more dreadful. Constantly thinking about should I have drunk tonight? Will I drink tomorrow? What will this do to my health? Will i get up middle of the night?

Absolutely. I think that's the natural progression of alcoholism. The more we abused it the deeper in the hole we got. No one started out wanting to be alcoholic. It just naturally progressed quietly on us and bit us in the rear unexpectedly.

Yep, absolutely. Towards then end I simply drank to keep from having heart palpitations and panic attacks. Problem was, it eventually got to the point where even the alcohol wouldn't stop the anxiety anymore.

Love it.
and hell yeah.

I felt the anxiety immediately when I had a few drinks after a 6.5mth period of soberiety. I felt it within the first few sips, yet still had a couple glasses. Then stopped b/c I couldn't handle the gross feeling that was literally washing over me. *shudder*

Alcohol had lost its charm, its glamor, its pleasure, its relief long before the end of my drinking career. Yes - chasing the Memory.

No question. And, I knew I was drinking for immediate relief rather than any pleasure. Stopping at that stage really is like jumping off a speeding train. But, eventually, I just had to jump and am still waiting for the tumble and the dust to settle.

I also completely agree with you, though opiates are my personal demon rather than alcohol. Chasing the dragon as they say.

doggonecarl - this analogy is so dead on it's amazing. Could not say it better.

There's a thread somewhere around here that has a link to an animated short called "nuggets". Beautifully done, illustrates the progression from high to chasing the memory of the high perfectly. Check it out if you haven't seen it yet.

Yes! Pretty sad when you get right down to it.

I never felt what I would call dread and anxiety but it definitely got to a point for me where I was feeling anything but pleasure. More like self-pity, thinking to myself, "Man look at me. This is pathetic."

Hi there, Yea I absolutely remember the first time I tasted alcohol when I was 15. It was like a magical potion which energised but relaxed me. I'm 57 now and had been still drinking and looking for that feeling. Instead all I was doing was making a big fool of myself. Then I'd feel nervous. depressed and anxious afterwards.

I am determined to feel confident and relaxed without the delusions that alcohol brings.
Good Luck, Stay strong

You nailed it. The warm fuzzy feeling of the first few drinks was what I was always chasing. That feeling began to escape me as my drinking progressed over the years. Eventually I was using alcohol basically to relieve anxiety and depression

Yes, the thrill is gone. Long gone.