never ending feeling like I lost
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: windsor, on
Posts: 104
never ending feeling like I lost
I feel so lost its so unreal. I have a great bf who keeps loving me no matter what. Well I have a job which seems no matter what I do I cannot get fired from. I really don't want to go back at all but we could use the money. Im just so miserable and the only thing that makes me feel good....at the moment is booze. Afterwards its horrible the stuff i do when im wasted. I was drinking yesterday from 1pm. I hate blacking out and being a drunk but I also hate my sober life. Im not quite sure what to do anymore :-(
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 10
Beware the misconceptions
Hi there,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. You name your supportive partner and your icky job. Don't try and get fired, find something better and quit. The sooner you get out of the funk and fog, the sooner you will be able to focus on what you need to do. Don't think he doesn't think about you being drunk and accepts all. Don't take his love for granted. You might wake up one day and he will be gone and indifferent. Celebrate your good fortune that you have someone that cares for you.
Hope to see you here again. Best wishes.
I am sorry to hear about your situation. You name your supportive partner and your icky job. Don't try and get fired, find something better and quit. The sooner you get out of the funk and fog, the sooner you will be able to focus on what you need to do. Don't think he doesn't think about you being drunk and accepts all. Don't take his love for granted. You might wake up one day and he will be gone and indifferent. Celebrate your good fortune that you have someone that cares for you.
Hope to see you here again. Best wishes.
*Ex Missus
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 410
Well ya can't get to changing your sober life whilst you're drunk girl. Not for the better anywhoo. I know the feelings for sure. Not wanting to face up to my life and who I am but drinking doesn't really change anything, it just delays improvement and adds to the **** heap.
Thing is when you actually face your demons you realize they aren't even as bad as you thought they were. Or at least they are far more managable. And, it certainly becomes easier to put change into motion when you have a nice clear head and are being real with yourself. Hope you stick around. This place is a god send
Thing is when you actually face your demons you realize they aren't even as bad as you thought they were. Or at least they are far more managable. And, it certainly becomes easier to put change into motion when you have a nice clear head and are being real with yourself. Hope you stick around. This place is a god send
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Originally Posted by chloebaby 
I feel so lost its so unreal. I have a great bf who keeps loving me no matter what. Well I have a job which seems no matter what I do I cannot get fired from. I really don't want to go back at all but we could use the money. Im just so miserable and the only thing that makes me feel good....at the moment is booze. Afterwards its horrible the stuff i do when im wasted. I was drinking yesterday from 1pm. I hate blacking out and being a drunk but I also hate my sober life. Im not quite sure what to do anymore :-(
Give being sober a chance. It takes time but the benefits are amazing. 6 months later and my life is completely different and considerably better. I'm actually happy - who'd a thought!
Wishing you well.
L x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Northland
Posts: 600
The only way to improve your sober life is to first get sober. You can do it, starting now. Hang around here, read everything you can, and think about getting some face to face support. You'll find some great people here who will do all they can to help you. You deserve a better life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
The easiest way to achieve anything we desire is to stop drinking every day in a row and stay stopped.
The staying stopped is the project that millions have achieved by attending meetings and working on the reasons we drank then change ourselves in a long term recovery program.
It’s worked for millions who do the work, unfortunately far too many don’t and slide back into drinking and then it’s back to a more miserable life than before and gets worse, never better when we are drinking.
BE WELL
The easiest way to achieve anything we desire is to stop drinking every day in a row and stay stopped.
The staying stopped is the project that millions have achieved by attending meetings and working on the reasons we drank then change ourselves in a long term recovery program.
It’s worked for millions who do the work, unfortunately far too many don’t and slide back into drinking and then it’s back to a more miserable life than before and gets worse, never better when we are drinking.
BE WELL
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Chloe I'm sorry you are feeling lost. But things can get better you need to believe that. But you need to take action for them to get better. What are some things you can do to make your sober life one you can enjoy?
Hang in there! Check in here as much as you can.
Hang in there! Check in here as much as you can.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 349
I feel so lost its so unreal. I have a great bf who keeps loving me no matter what. Well I have a job which seems no matter what I do I cannot get fired from. I really don't want to go back at all but we could use the money. Im just so miserable and the only thing that makes me feel good....at the moment is booze. Afterwards its horrible the stuff i do when im wasted. I was drinking yesterday from 1pm. I hate blacking out and being a drunk but I also hate my sober life. Im not quite sure what to do anymore :-(
Chloe ... welcome. In reading your post, you almost sound like you are waiting for that kick in the @ss to get you motivated to quit. Your bf loves you no matter what. Are you hoping he'll get mad at you for drinking so that you have a reason to quit?
Your job keeps taking you back. Maybe if they fired you you would then have a real reason to stop drinking?
I am not trying to be harsh with you, but give some thought to what I wrote here. Are you hoping that something bad happens as a way to get motivated and if it doesn't you'll just continue to be miserable?
As far as the job situation, why do you have to go back at all? Find a different job that doesn't make you unhappy.
Glad you're here.
Chloe ... welcome. In reading your post, you almost sound like you are waiting for that kick in the @ss to get you motivated to quit. Your bf loves you no matter what. Are you hoping he'll get mad at you for drinking so that you have a reason to quit?
Your job keeps taking you back. Maybe if they fired you you would then have a real reason to stop drinking?
I am not trying to be harsh with you, but give some thought to what I wrote here. Are you hoping that something bad happens as a way to get motivated and if it doesn't you'll just continue to be miserable?
As far as the job situation, why do you have to go back at all? Find a different job that doesn't make you unhappy.
Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Kiel WI
Posts: 221
C'mon girl,look at all the people on here looking to cheer you on.You Can do it, just like I can do it.Believe in yourself! Do something positive today,& do it sober.Two weeks ago I couldn't hardly lift my head off the pillow & now I'm handing out advice.That's what its all about,things will change if you want them to.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Western NY
Posts: 125
We all remember the periods in which we hated both our sober life and our drinking life. But I've never heard anyone say they decided put their whole heart into drinking and found that drinking made them happy after all. But everyone that puts their whole heart into getting and staying sober reports happiness and even joy in sobriety. (Not every day is perfect happiness, but the real kind).
That's all I need to know.
Earlyriser
That's all I need to know.
Earlyriser
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
You can do this Chloe!!
The problem with getting Sober for me was the same, take alcohol out and what life did I have? it all looked pretty bleak, but with time and making a few changes a new Sober life, that looked different from the life at Day 1 can be carved out.
Take a leap of faith and you can make it happen!!
The problem with getting Sober for me was the same, take alcohol out and what life did I have? it all looked pretty bleak, but with time and making a few changes a new Sober life, that looked different from the life at Day 1 can be carved out.
Take a leap of faith and you can make it happen!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: windsor, on
Posts: 104
Thank you for everyones responses. I think I know deep down being sober will make me happier. I think its a self destructive thing I have going on. My bf is fine if I quit my job but I think it will be too much for him. He has never lived with a woman before and I bring in my disabled adult daughter and now my son moved back in....he is 21. My drinking all started when I got home last new years eve day from work.....him and all his stuff were gone. At the same time I got a job at Toyota....so I moved to Cambridge....hated working there buy so proud I got in. I started having 3 day drinking binges. I missed my city and my friends too. I decided to take my old supervisor job back and go back to Windsor. That made it worse. I just don't comprehend how I had everything but was still miserable. I have been on prozac and xanax for months now. It doesn't help at all. If anyone has read my previous posts I got behimd the wheel of my car and blacked out and hit the rearend of someone. I lost my good paying job, my license and my dignity. I am just so so thankful I did not take amyones life. You would think that would of stopped me arghhh. My entire dads side of the family are alchoholics. Even though I did drink at parties amd got trashed I never did this. My dad died 2 months before all this **** happened. I never talked to my dad for 4 yrs because he came to live with me and he wasn't suppose to get wasted around my kids. Which he did so I made him leave. But here I am the same drunk :-(
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
chloebaby ((()))
Yeah, I understand that feeling of not wanting to be either sober or drunk.
But being sober at least you have a chance of some happiness, where as staying drunk is only going to lead you further down the road of destruction.
Give it a go - we will all support you , you can post any time you're struggling.
If you get sober you can then start to deal with the self destructive thing, but if you stay drunk you won't be able to. x
Yeah, I understand that feeling of not wanting to be either sober or drunk.
But being sober at least you have a chance of some happiness, where as staying drunk is only going to lead you further down the road of destruction.
Give it a go - we will all support you , you can post any time you're struggling.
If you get sober you can then start to deal with the self destructive thing, but if you stay drunk you won't be able to. x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
The reason you hate your sober life is probably that you don't have one.
I remember feeling this kind of despair for a long time.
Now I love my sober life
But it took actually deciding I wanted one, then working to build it.
I remember feeling this kind of despair for a long time.
Now I love my sober life
But it took actually deciding I wanted one, then working to build it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
I agree with Owl. You dont know how good sober feels because you've never been sober. Your meds dont work well because you still drink. And dont blame your family for YOUR drinking and alcoholism.
Give (treat) yourself to 30 days of no drinking. For now...thats all, just 30 days. My bet is, once you get a taste of sobriety you will never want to go back to the "old day's".
Good luck to you.
DD
Give (treat) yourself to 30 days of no drinking. For now...thats all, just 30 days. My bet is, once you get a taste of sobriety you will never want to go back to the "old day's".
Good luck to you.
DD
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