SDH73

Last night at work my co-worker suggested that we have a beer after work, to which I responded that I can't, I'm doing 30 days no drinking.

Later in the shift I was having a snack and he said "you're gonna eat that, but you can't have a beer?" *shrug* "I'm not on a diet. I'm just not drinking."

Then, at the end of the shift as I was sorting through money, he brought me a beer. Not a pint, but a 10oz glass of beer. I guess he thought that maybe just a small one would be okay. I told him that I wouldn't drink it and he responded that I was wasting beer!

Yes, he got me a beer that I had told him I wouldn't drink, and when I actually wouldn't drink it, I was wasting beer!

I'm telling myself that he doesn't know what I'm going through and was just trying to be friendly. He's not a bad guy, though he is constantly testing boundaries.

But here's the thing: even if he doesn't know what he's suggesting by offering me a drink, why would he want to derail WHATEVER it is that I have going on? There could be any number of reasons that a person might want/need to not drink for 30 days. When a friend says they're going to go gluten free for a month, I don't bring them a big bowl of pasta!

Hmmm. I've become increasingly irritated about it as I was writing this. It's not an issue, I didn't drink and I realize that no one else can MAKE me drink. I'm sure a lot of people are going to offer me drinks in the future. Some will be more insistent than others.

Well, now I'm just rambling. Thoughts and comments are welcome, though I really just needed to rant a little.

jacksbean

Good on ya for staying strong! Its the same case with my friends. They can't seem to fathom the idea of getting sober, since all we've ever done is drink.

gypsytears

Wasting beer is better than being wasted. That's a good analogy about pasta and going gluten free but, clearly you are of a higher sensitivity . No means no. Good for you.

TryTryAgain

Great story. Helps me and gives me strength. Thanks and congrats!

Alwyshope12

You need to remember that 60 % or Americans have Zoer to less than a drink a week, so not drinking is actually much more normal than drinking.

There is little to gain from having a beer, and sooooooo much to loose. I actually can't put a price on my sanity and emotional well being.

Kraszy

Back when I drank (feels weird to say that 71 days in), I would offer drinks to others so that I could justify having a drink myself. That may have been the case with why your co-worker was so insistent. Stay strong and hang in there, brother. It's get easier.

JanieJ

I've got to agree with kraszy here - when I was drinking, I would try and get others to drink, to make myself feel better.

He just wanted a drinking buddy, I guess.

You threatened his status quo...

Soberwolf

You done really well SDH

This person should have respected your wishes but bought you a beer anyway

if this happens again id keep my distance you find out who your real friends are in sobriety

next time ask for a coca cola if anyting like this happens

SDH73

Thanks for the support soberwolf. The situation actually played out sort of like you suggested it should have. He asked me what I wanted to drink. I said I'd like a sparkling water. A couple of minutes later there was a beer in front of me.

I don't really blame him. I'm not going around announcing that I'm an alcoholic who can't have even one drink. And he's a young guy, in his 20's. He just had a baby a few weeks ago and I'm sure he just wanted to have some "guy time" away from the wife and newborn.

We're not close friends, just work friends. Can't really avoid him. Hopefully he's learned not to order unwanted drinks for others.

Gonnachange

Well played SDH73. Regardless of the reason(s), your decision needs to be respected.

Dee74

hey SDH - well done for resisting.
He probably really going to hammer you in 31 days tho.

Normally I'd say get away - but you can't do that in your job.

I know you don;t want to announce your alcoholism but if you've quit for good, you might have to start dropping that into conversations with this guy.

No reason required.

D

enfinthechange

I find this weird with alcohol... if you'd given up a hard drug like heroin, and told him, would he bring you a syringe full.. people are happy if you give up class A drugs, but sad if you stop drinking... how bizzare really!

Well done on not drinking it... a split second could have derailed you!

PurpleKnight

Great job on getting through that situation!!

Charlie117926

I can relate SDH73

I have been sober for a little while and some of my co workers and I went to lunch together today. Well we pulled up to an old watering hole (actually has good food too) I used to spend a lot of time in. As soon as we walked in the bartender asked me how I have been (I have not been there for a long stretch) and by the time I took my coat off an answered him he sat a beer in front of me. I told him no thanks (never drank at lunch with co workers) told him to take it back and asked for water. He was in shock. On the other hand I had no desire to drink which was great. Just sharing my story as your not alone. Fight the good fight!

Tonymblue

You did a great job. It happens to me all the time. Ive been trying to to quit for over a year. Every relapse has been from a friend and a harmless beer. People dont understand what its like for us. Stay true to yourself.

BalinChane

Maybe I'm cynical lately but it seems to me that most people do not really listen to other people. I don't know how many times I've told family and friends that I am not drinking (or eating certain foods, or whatever) and the next day I get offered a drink. Seems like truly listening is a rare trait in humans. Anyway, you're buddy probably just didn't hear what you said, he wasn't really listening. Yell next time!

TopEndChick

Well done for resisting, SDH.

This has happened to me a number of times of the years. I have usually been able to resist, but unfortunately have been worn down on a few occasions. And I mean, worn down - asked several times, as various people have gotten up from the table to get rounds. I was always included in this, even though people knew full well that I wasn't drinking for a very good reason!

I can only surmise that, to my drinking buddies, I am way more fun to be around when drinking than when I'm not.

I've been able to avoid these situations, as it only happens when I put myself in a social situation where most people are drinking. It certainly would never happen at my primary education workplace, so I feel for you with this situation.

Anyway, stick with it. I am in day 3 again now, and staying well away from any possible trigger situations as though my life depended on it - which I believe it does at this point.

SDH73

Thanks for the input, everyone. This isn't the first time something like this has happened to me and I suspect it won't be the last. I'm a pretty stubborn guy, so no one is going to coerce me into drinking. It's when I start talking myself into drinking that I'm in real danger.

And Dee, you're right, sooner or later I have to start thinking outside of the "trying not to drink" box. I'm hoping that as my sober time grows I'll become more confident in simply saying "I don't drink".

ubntubnt

Now I just say that I am off the beers for a while. No reasons given. If they ask how long I just say I don't know, a while maybe. Getting healthy and focusing on my fitness. This time of year is perfect, you can just say its a new years resolution, roll your eyes and say lets see how long this one lasts. Then don't drink and move on. If they persist I just say that I will stay off it until I break the two hour mark for the marathon. At that point most people just give up....

sobermtbr

Last summer I was able to get 30 some odd days under my belt. Went camping with other young families. Camping with trailers so pretty much a drinking fest. Any rate I stayed sober and someone actually told me I was more fun when I was drinking. I couldn't believe it