Been Drinking since Christmas...so sorry
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Been Drinking since Christmas...so sorry
Hi everyone, I'm back here after a hiatus. I was doing SO WELL. Really felt so great and was happy with my sobriety. Very little to no cravings for the most part. I even had started working out, and more than one person commented that I was looking really good.
Then of course Christmas happened...and I went home for the holidays and I've been drinking every day since then. Every day. Again. Just like before. It happened very quickly. And you know what...I skipped over the part of just joining the party and having a few drinks. Nope, I went straight to buying my bottle of vodka and sneaking around, drinking from my stash.
I wanted to come back here last week but part of me didn't want to stop drinking. I knew the week was going to be slow with work so I figured I would just keep on drinking. I hate it. I feel disgusting and so ashamed.
Today is a new day though and I am starting again at Day 1. I'm gonna hang out around SR a little more. It definitely helps.
Then of course Christmas happened...and I went home for the holidays and I've been drinking every day since then. Every day. Again. Just like before. It happened very quickly. And you know what...I skipped over the part of just joining the party and having a few drinks. Nope, I went straight to buying my bottle of vodka and sneaking around, drinking from my stash.
I wanted to come back here last week but part of me didn't want to stop drinking. I knew the week was going to be slow with work so I figured I would just keep on drinking. I hate it. I feel disgusting and so ashamed.
Today is a new day though and I am starting again at Day 1. I'm gonna hang out around SR a little more. It definitely helps.
*Ex Missus
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 410
Exact same thing happened to me after 5 months of sober except mine started a little early cos it was my bday month too. Even the skipping drinking with people but taking your bottle of voddie off in secret - did that too. Ah well, we're here now. Hopefully, we can learn to deal with festivities before it hits next time. Good Luck 
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Welcome back Lola. I know drinking lost a lot of it's thrill after a period of abstinence where I could really assess it's steady undermining of everything I hold dear. Trying to convince myself otherwise with more booze never worked too good after I was honest with me. I hang out here some daily and most of the tips I use for the rest of my day I got here too. AVRT has helped me with the few urges I've had as well as talking it through with someone. Best wishes on finding what works for you.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 13
Hang in there, im new to this site, but I do know that Christmas happens only one day a year, so really there is no need to treat it like any other day. Don't use your holidays over Christmas as a time to relapse, get back on the wagon and continue your new life sober ok
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Welcome back Lola. As uncomfortable as those major holidays are first time sober they are absolutely necessary in achieving long term sobriety. As for any other major social event that used to include alcohol. I believe once your able to honestly work through these times sober your well on your way. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome back, Lola.
Glad that you have recommitted to sobriety.
If holidays or families are triggers for you, have you thought about to deal with those triggers in the future? I found that planning ahead for situations I found triggering was very helpful.
Glad you are back and that you are going to stay close to SR; remember - 24/7/365.
Glad that you have recommitted to sobriety.
If holidays or families are triggers for you, have you thought about to deal with those triggers in the future? I found that planning ahead for situations I found triggering was very helpful.
Glad you are back and that you are going to stay close to SR; remember - 24/7/365.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Thanks everyone. I know there have been a lot of these posts after the holidays.
Family is definitely a trigger for me. Not my siblings, but my parents and uncles/aunts who want to ask how I'm doing, and what I'm up to. And it never really seems like I'm up to very much. No new boyfriend or movement in that direction and at 35, it seems to make me a big fat loser. So I drink to cope I guess.
I need a better recovery plan. I know that now. I still haven't been to AA. Maybe I should try that. I dunno...
Family is definitely a trigger for me. Not my siblings, but my parents and uncles/aunts who want to ask how I'm doing, and what I'm up to. And it never really seems like I'm up to very much. No new boyfriend or movement in that direction and at 35, it seems to make me a big fat loser. So I drink to cope I guess.
I need a better recovery plan. I know that now. I still haven't been to AA. Maybe I should try that. I dunno...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 576
I know I am new here , but I say start anew , it's 2015..Hit the restart button..Nothing to be ashamed of by any means..We are all in fact human...I may have been tempted the same way , but I worked Christmas , then went straight to bed after work..Hang in there..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Lola, no need to apologize, it's the disease. It's you who deserves the calmness and truth of sobriety. So if you tweak your plan and give yourself that gift, you can be square with yourself.
I go home for Christmas every year, for three weeks. I'm still here. And this is only the second year I haven't reverted back to the bottle of vodka in the suitcase. Damn it was scary to change. But wow, what a beautiful difference! I used to relapse here every time. Most people here don't know the extent of my problem, so they offer me wine. Cause I always liked wine... But I don't cave anymore. More people know why now. Even my dad knows I don't drink, which was a toughie.
It gets soooooo much better when you stay stopped! Good luck Lola!
I go home for Christmas every year, for three weeks. I'm still here. And this is only the second year I haven't reverted back to the bottle of vodka in the suitcase. Damn it was scary to change. But wow, what a beautiful difference! I used to relapse here every time. Most people here don't know the extent of my problem, so they offer me wine. Cause I always liked wine... But I don't cave anymore. More people know why now. Even my dad knows I don't drink, which was a toughie.
It gets soooooo much better when you stay stopped! Good luck Lola!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
That would be post here and not lost. I do all those things to temain mindful of the fact that I cannot drink. If I were to pick up drinking? I'd be back to everday. No moderation. Keep coming back.
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