On the power of faith...
Sober Soldier
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
On the power of faith...
I'm not a religious person, but the word faith really hits home for me and I want to touch on it for a moment.
I see a lot of people struggling on here. Hell, I'm one of them. We all have our challenges that we must deal with. But I'm seeing a lot of people who seem to be just giving up. Accepting their horrible circumstances. Accepting that they are damaged, that they are failures, that they can not mend relationships or find someone to start a relationship with, and most of all break free of their addiction. And it breaks my heart to hear these stories and I want to try and convince these people that sometimes faith is all there is and you need to cling to it with all you've got.
I'm not talking about faith in the religious sense. I'm talking about faith that your life will not stay way it is at this very moment forever. I'm talking about faith that, no matter how utterly crappy things are right now, they will get better. When you feel like you could not possibly fall any further, that you can and will pull yourself out of the pit. Let me tell you something about myself.
I suffer from a chronic illness called ulcerative colitis. It has caused me more hardship than I care to think about. It has knocked me to my knees several times and left me without a cent to my name, broken me down physically and drained me mentally. Yet as I type this I am 6'2" and 200 lbs of solid muscle, I am steadily building my bank account back up, I have my goals for 2015 laid out and a plan for achieving them, and most importantly in this context, I am sober, even after a holiday slip-up that left me desperately trying to avoid falling back into old habits. And it helps that I have a family that has my back 100%.
Last February, I suffered a major flare-up of my illness. I lost 30 lbs of muscle I had worked my butt off to build. I drained my bank accounts paying for expenses that weren't covered by my insurance. And I was afraid to leave my house. But the worst part was that my body was not responding to medication. Two months went by and I was still not better. This is the point where the docs start telling me that it might be time to seek more radical form of treatment. But I was not settling for that. I buckled down. I started researching, looking into every form of natural treatment I could find. I changed my diet, paying acute attention to how everything that I put into my body affected me. And every single day during all of this, I told myself that I will find health again. That I will beat this illness back into the ground. I clung to faith, because at the time, it was all I had.
By August, I had improved somewhat, but was still very symptomtic and progressing at an almost unnoticeable rate, it felt like not progressing at all. I went to see the doc and he said that enough was enough, it was time to look into more radical treatment. By that he meant medications with side effects that could potentially make me sicker than I already was, or just surgically removing my colon. I told him to give me more time, that I was going to get myself back to where we both wanted me to be. That's right, this is a guy that has seen countless cases of this illness, spent half his life practicing, telling me it was time to throw in the towel. And I told him, "You're wrong." Based on nothing more than pure faith. He said that he would let me "play around" for one more month, and if I did not improve the next time I saw him, it would be time to do it his way.
One month later I went back to see him. I was 15 lbs heavier, and my symptoms were almost back to normal. No medication. Just hard work and faith that that work would pay off.*
Some of you are facing what seem like impossible circumstances. And you may have people who you think are supposed to help you telling you that there is no hope.*
Don't listen.
Dig down to your core and pull every ounce of willpower you have and start taking action. No matter what, believe that that action will bring you to a better destination.
Get up, and don't ever give up.
**
I see a lot of people struggling on here. Hell, I'm one of them. We all have our challenges that we must deal with. But I'm seeing a lot of people who seem to be just giving up. Accepting their horrible circumstances. Accepting that they are damaged, that they are failures, that they can not mend relationships or find someone to start a relationship with, and most of all break free of their addiction. And it breaks my heart to hear these stories and I want to try and convince these people that sometimes faith is all there is and you need to cling to it with all you've got.
I'm not talking about faith in the religious sense. I'm talking about faith that your life will not stay way it is at this very moment forever. I'm talking about faith that, no matter how utterly crappy things are right now, they will get better. When you feel like you could not possibly fall any further, that you can and will pull yourself out of the pit. Let me tell you something about myself.
I suffer from a chronic illness called ulcerative colitis. It has caused me more hardship than I care to think about. It has knocked me to my knees several times and left me without a cent to my name, broken me down physically and drained me mentally. Yet as I type this I am 6'2" and 200 lbs of solid muscle, I am steadily building my bank account back up, I have my goals for 2015 laid out and a plan for achieving them, and most importantly in this context, I am sober, even after a holiday slip-up that left me desperately trying to avoid falling back into old habits. And it helps that I have a family that has my back 100%.
Last February, I suffered a major flare-up of my illness. I lost 30 lbs of muscle I had worked my butt off to build. I drained my bank accounts paying for expenses that weren't covered by my insurance. And I was afraid to leave my house. But the worst part was that my body was not responding to medication. Two months went by and I was still not better. This is the point where the docs start telling me that it might be time to seek more radical form of treatment. But I was not settling for that. I buckled down. I started researching, looking into every form of natural treatment I could find. I changed my diet, paying acute attention to how everything that I put into my body affected me. And every single day during all of this, I told myself that I will find health again. That I will beat this illness back into the ground. I clung to faith, because at the time, it was all I had.
By August, I had improved somewhat, but was still very symptomtic and progressing at an almost unnoticeable rate, it felt like not progressing at all. I went to see the doc and he said that enough was enough, it was time to look into more radical treatment. By that he meant medications with side effects that could potentially make me sicker than I already was, or just surgically removing my colon. I told him to give me more time, that I was going to get myself back to where we both wanted me to be. That's right, this is a guy that has seen countless cases of this illness, spent half his life practicing, telling me it was time to throw in the towel. And I told him, "You're wrong." Based on nothing more than pure faith. He said that he would let me "play around" for one more month, and if I did not improve the next time I saw him, it would be time to do it his way.
One month later I went back to see him. I was 15 lbs heavier, and my symptoms were almost back to normal. No medication. Just hard work and faith that that work would pay off.*
Some of you are facing what seem like impossible circumstances. And you may have people who you think are supposed to help you telling you that there is no hope.*
Don't listen.
Dig down to your core and pull every ounce of willpower you have and start taking action. No matter what, believe that that action will bring you to a better destination.
Get up, and don't ever give up.
**
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Awesome post mns1 and just what I needed to hear tonight. I'm glad you are healing and you sound so positive.
I am in the midst of heartache, sadness, worry, you name it.. On a few different fronts. These past few weeks I think I have felt lower and more hopeless than I ever have in my life. Today was tough, my mind racing with every 'what if' thought and awful scenario there is.
But you are right. We need to pull ourselves out or times like these and have faith that things will get better, somehow. They always do.
Thanks for this glimmer of hope
I am in the midst of heartache, sadness, worry, you name it.. On a few different fronts. These past few weeks I think I have felt lower and more hopeless than I ever have in my life. Today was tough, my mind racing with every 'what if' thought and awful scenario there is.
But you are right. We need to pull ourselves out or times like these and have faith that things will get better, somehow. They always do.
Thanks for this glimmer of hope
Sober Soldier
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Originally Posted by forabetterlife 
These past few weeks I think I have felt lower and more hopeless than I ever have in my life. Today was tough, my mind racing with every 'what if' thought and awful scenario there is.
But sometimes it's at our lowest points that we mange to dig deep inside ourselves and summon the drive we need to push forward and make things happen.
Hang in there and believe things will get better!
Sober Soldier
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Originally Posted by soberwolf
i know 2 ppl with UC im sorry you suffer one of my sisters has chrohns
And thank you for all the positive things you do on here.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Wonderful post. Faith is all I had when I walked into AA and I can tell you I did not have much of it but it has grown and is now the cornerstone of my sobriety.
I am not a religious person but I found a cross at Walmart that has the word faith inscribed on the side. My BF bought it for me and bought a silver chain for it. I never take it off. I have held on to it at times like I am holding God's hand.
I have been going through some rough days lately, I needed this reminder. I have to lean on my faith and grab hold again. It is always there but just like everything in my life, I need to practice it on a daily basis.
Thank you
I am not a religious person but I found a cross at Walmart that has the word faith inscribed on the side. My BF bought it for me and bought a silver chain for it. I never take it off. I have held on to it at times like I am holding God's hand.
I have been going through some rough days lately, I needed this reminder. I have to lean on my faith and grab hold again. It is always there but just like everything in my life, I need to practice it on a daily basis.
Thank you
Sober Soldier
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Thank you brynn knowing that I can inspire others just inspires me to push myself that much harder and be the best person that I can be.
And GracieLou I'm sorry to hear you've been having some rough days. But I'm glad I could remind you how important it is to cling to faith. I know how hard it can be but you are absolutely right. It is the one thing that will always be there for you when you feel like there is nothing else to lean on. I love the cross. Always hold on to it as a reminder. You will get out of this rough stretch soon enough. Hang in there!
And GracieLou I'm sorry to hear you've been having some rough days. But I'm glad I could remind you how important it is to cling to faith. I know how hard it can be but you are absolutely right. It is the one thing that will always be there for you when you feel like there is nothing else to lean on. I love the cross. Always hold on to it as a reminder. You will get out of this rough stretch soon enough. Hang in there!
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