lotsofcoffee

Well today is number 3. I had a 23 day run and was feeling great. I thought "Wow, I got this under control, alcohol doesn't control me anymore. I can have a drink" Well, that didn't turn out to be the case. It wasn't long until I was sneaking around to drink more. Two weeks later and I'm back.

What really brought it home. Last Friday I went to see my daughter volunteer at the zoo. I then slipped off to have a drink knowing I had my priorities all messed up. That didn't go over well at home. I have let down my family again. This morning my wife said we needed to talk. She listed all of the times I have let the family down due to alcohol in 2014 and already once in 2015. No threats, just facts.

I am so disappointed in myself, depressed and confused.

I will not let alcohol take my family from me. I felt better when I didn't drink and my marriage was going great but for some reason it still calls me. I need to accept I cannot be a 1 drink guy. I know it is true but I still need to accept it.

I will see everyone around and will continue to check in. To much on the line to go back to old ways. Looking forward to the future!

jryan19982

Welcome back.

Do you have a better plan this time around?

ScottFromWI

Welcome back LotsOCoffee. Accepting it was the hardest part for me too. I let my family down countless times by making my drinking the #1 priority. The amazing truth I found though is that sobriety is a choice we ( you included ) can make. If you truly accept the fact that you can never, ever pick up that first drink, it's 100% possible.

Just as important as acceptance is your plan/follow up/treatment. Whether it's AA, daily posting here, books, rehab, detox, counseling or any combination, following through and taking time each day is imperative. I wish you the best of luck and congratulations on day 3.

lotsofcoffee

Plan in progress and determining what led me to drink. I feel like I am missing something by not drinking. I know I'm not. I had some great times going out and not drinking during my 23 days. I have a better understanding of the relationship alcohol and but still trying to understand what was the factor that led to that drink. Updated my sobriety date and I'm determined to have a great 2015.

JackDsMissus

I've had a handful of those sober stretches since joining here a year and some months ago. Each one getting slightly longer. My last being nearly 5 months. And, I still haven't got this damn plan straight either. Christmas got me twice. Back on day 5 and looking hard for a way to "never forget". It can be done. Take a look around this site! I guess for some of us, it takes a few turns around the block? Hope this is the one for both of us

Mark1014

lotsofcoffee,

Even though your post title has a frown face, I have to say that this is really a critical point for you in a good way! It took me a loooong time to make the realization. I rolled the possibly of moderation etc. around my mind for years and years! You can now stop that exhausting cycle! This really is a positive step....I promise. Now back it up with a plan. I think 2015 may just be a great (not necessarily always easy)year for you and your family!

Ruby2

No, it doesn't take much time to go from zero to too many, does it? We all struggled with it at some point. Well, I did. I didn't want to believe I was an alcoholic. I wanted to moderate. Give up drinking? What?! No way. But I did. At some point the evidence of how drinking is affecting our lives and the lives of our loved ones is too overwhelming to ignore. It hurts. It's hard. You can do it. One day at a time.

Soberwolf

Welcome bk lotsofcoffee

Are you going mtns ? if not i think they would really help

Remember to always reach out if you start to get cravings it really does help to expose the AV

Well done on day 3 stick close to SR and think what could you do to strenghten your sobriety

JanieJ

To keep it, you have to want it.

Sounds like you're getting there.

Thought about AA ?

MelindaFlowers

My marriage was on the line for several years when I was drinking. Someone on here told me something really powerful. They told me that I could stop then and save my marriage or stop after I had lost the marriage. But quitting would not be any easier if I lost marriage.

I had an "a-ha" moment. Quitting was going to happen. I never doubted that. It was just a matter of when. Stop now. This is your time.

I think the way your wife handled that was perfect. Just objectively listing it off.

BernieE

What led to having that drink was opportunity plus addiction. So you need a plan for how you will deal with moments like that. Some people here leave money and credit cards home when they know they'll be in a dicey situation. You could have your wife or another family member go with you. I'm sure you can find the solution.

Glad you're here!