Confession time
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by jaynie04 
The biggest mindset shift came for me when I changed my thinking from "I can't drink" to "I don't drink". Not a deprivation, a decision that I want to reclaim the life I deserve.
a zillion times, yes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 91
are you sure that you're done?
For me, a drink without consequence could not and would not be my last. Why would it be? I'd have had a drink and experienced no ill effect and didn't even get drunk. Why stop?
That experience would be poison to my mind, and I'd surely drink again.
Be careful and smarter. Maybe you're not an alcoholic (you are if you say you are).
Your behavior is dangerous, for an alcoholic who hopes to defy a fatal disease.
Good job confessing. Keep that up, but it's better to reach out BEFORE you drink!
For me, a drink without consequence could not and would not be my last. Why would it be? I'd have had a drink and experienced no ill effect and didn't even get drunk. Why stop?
That experience would be poison to my mind, and I'd surely drink again.
Be careful and smarter. Maybe you're not an alcoholic (you are if you say you are).
Your behavior is dangerous, for an alcoholic who hopes to defy a fatal disease.
Good job confessing. Keep that up, but it's better to reach out BEFORE you drink!
Cause no harm
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 596
Originally Posted by jaynie04
the biggest mindset shift came for me when i changed my thinking from "i can't drink" to "i don't drink". Not a deprivation, a decision that i want to reclaim the life i deserve.
bingo
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
"I know as an alcoholic having any sort of wavering. ideas about alcohol left me feeling deprived…so any sober time I accumulated with that mindset felt like fasting, not sobriety."
Jaynie04......you sum it up so well with that.
Jaynie04......you sum it up so well with that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Originally Posted by jaynie04
I know as an alcoholic having any sort of wavering. ideas about alcohol left me feeling deprived…so any sober time I accumulated with that mindset felt like fasting, not sobriety. That is the toughest spot…and one our AV capitalizes on, any sort of gap in our acknowledgement and we are feeding the wrong wolf. My darkest days were knowing I had a problem and still toying with the idea of drinking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 42
I heartily commend your decision to step out from behind your act and authentically express what is true. I'm imagining it is very important for you to stay aware that this experience may be one small step for your av to slowly and sneakily take control. Sounds like you are aware. Imagine what this could evolve to if you ever decide to try that again?
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
I admire your honesty. The important thing is that you are back and have renewed your commitment to being sober. Start again, and you will make it through the holidays next year. And thanks for posting your experience.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hi Barnumb I'm so glad you posted here, maybe checking in will help you to abstain. It's way to dicey to take a chance after a history of alcoholism. Especially when you get into withdrawal territory, you are very much playing with fire. It takes very little to get your brain chemistry right back to being addicted. You don't want that. It's hard but eventually you will find that life can be very wonderful without chemical enhancement.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,322
Congratulations on 2 days and for your honesty. I admire that.
For those who drank over the holidays, I wonder if the ability to moderate was because you were with others? I usually would drink a "moderate" amount (although more than a glass, so over the recommended amount for a woman) when I was with others. I was pretty good at it (although sometimes I did drink too much when with others too). But it was when I was left to my own devices that I really went for it. Leave me alone with a bottle of wine, and I can assure you I'd have more than a glass or two.
It may not matter, but I think it is useful to think about that drinking with others or not with others as a moderating effect. I could see how, for me, it could be a slippery slope, thinking, hey, I just had one drink with a friend, I can have this glass of wine here by myself too.
For those who drank over the holidays, I wonder if the ability to moderate was because you were with others? I usually would drink a "moderate" amount (although more than a glass, so over the recommended amount for a woman) when I was with others. I was pretty good at it (although sometimes I did drink too much when with others too). But it was when I was left to my own devices that I really went for it. Leave me alone with a bottle of wine, and I can assure you I'd have more than a glass or two.
It may not matter, but I think it is useful to think about that drinking with others or not with others as a moderating effect. I could see how, for me, it could be a slippery slope, thinking, hey, I just had one drink with a friend, I can have this glass of wine here by myself too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 251
Moderation is good. Many people can do it. Only you can decide. I tried it and it just progressed for me. I have no doubt I could enjoy a bottle of wine or a six pack of my favorite craft beer and not progress back into daily drinking but I don't want to chance it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 712
I went on holiday in September and as soon as I got over the boarder from UK to France, it was like "I will only drink when it is just me and my partner" then as soon as we met our friends it continued and didn't end for a month even when we got back to the UK and I was back into old habits quickly. Now 104 days later, I know I can never do that again.
I now go to AA and with the support of this community and what I went through in November with my dad bring critically ill, I know that drink was never the answer, it just made me forget the question.
Get a plan and stick to it. I wish you all the best.
I now go to AA and with the support of this community and what I went through in November with my dad bring critically ill, I know that drink was never the answer, it just made me forget the question.
Get a plan and stick to it. I wish you all the best.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
I actually think most of us can 'moderate'...for a time.
Thats one of the fundamental reasons why it's so hard to quit - if every drink ended in catastrophe? we'd have all quit years ago.
It's those few times when everything goes well that we cling to...very few of us can consistently maintain that moderation, tho....
and in the end I lost the ability completely.
The day I truly accepted I could not moderate & I had to leave alcohol behind was the day my recovery began
Welcome back barnumb
D
Thats one of the fundamental reasons why it's so hard to quit - if every drink ended in catastrophe? we'd have all quit years ago.
It's those few times when everything goes well that we cling to...very few of us can consistently maintain that moderation, tho....
and in the end I lost the ability completely.
The day I truly accepted I could not moderate & I had to leave alcohol behind was the day my recovery began
Welcome back barnumb
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by Dee74
I actually think most of us can 'moderate'...for a time. Thats one of the fundamental reasons why it's so hard to quit - if every drink ended in catastrophe? we'd have all quit years ago. It's those few times when everything goes well that we cling to...very few of us can consistently maintain that moderation, tho.... and in the end I lost the ability completely. The day I truly accepted I could not moderate & I had to leave alcohol behind was the day my recovery began Welcome back barnumb D
Welcome back barnumb DSober Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Lancashire
Posts: 170
Hi Barnumb
I wouldn't beat yourself up about it really. You know that these things have a habit of spirally out of control. You have a couple of drinks and stop, nothing happens. Before long you have convinced yourself your "normal" and can moderate, but sooner or late, like me, your back to drinking every with the same old problems as before.
I would put it behind you and just move on.
I wouldn't beat yourself up about it really. You know that these things have a habit of spirally out of control. You have a couple of drinks and stop, nothing happens. Before long you have convinced yourself your "normal" and can moderate, but sooner or late, like me, your back to drinking every with the same old problems as before.
I would put it behind you and just move on.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
Originally Posted by Dee74
I actually think most of us can 'moderate'...for a time. Thats one of the fundamental reasons why it's so hard to quit - if every drink ended in catastrophe? we'd have all quit years ago. It's those few times when everything goes well that we cling to...very few of us can consistently maintain that moderation, tho.... and in the end I lost the ability completely. The day I truly accepted I could not moderate & I had to leave alcohol behind was the day my recovery began Welcome back barnumb D
Welcome back barnumb D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
