Did anyone manage to give up first try
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I first joined SR in Jan 2012 under another name and had 2 stints at sobriety of 6 weeks then drank. I needed to change something.
My life changed the more sober time I got but it doens't happen overnight. It is daunting at first to think of 'forever' I'm 2 years sober now and my life is so much better. I am physically, mentally and emotionally better. I am a better person and have a better life.
I don't want to go back to the way I was. don't get me wrong- of course there are times when life is difficult and I think I want a drink, sometimes very badly. But I think of how much better my life is now and don't want to lose that. So I don't think in terms of I can never drink again- I do think that I don't want to drink again and go back to the life I had. For me, that was the difference.
My life changed the more sober time I got but it doens't happen overnight. It is daunting at first to think of 'forever' I'm 2 years sober now and my life is so much better. I am physically, mentally and emotionally better. I am a better person and have a better life.
I don't want to go back to the way I was. don't get me wrong- of course there are times when life is difficult and I think I want a drink, sometimes very badly. But I think of how much better my life is now and don't want to lose that. So I don't think in terms of I can never drink again- I do think that I don't want to drink again and go back to the life I had. For me, that was the difference.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ayr, Scotland
Posts: 100
You're probably noticing a theme here, as am I. I'm here, on my first try - that is, the first time I decided to quit totally, for ever. Before that, I'd said 'for now', 'till such-and-such a time'. As you'll see if you read this thread and others, that doesn't work. We're all here because we can't moderate. As soon as you realise that, you can say 'never again' and mean it. Despite this, when I said it - 50 days ago - I didn't feel at all sure I could keep it going. I had read on another thread that you need 90 days to get the mental and physical habits out of your system so I committed myself to that, knowing that it included the Christmas holidays. As soon as I'd made that commitment, of course, I knew 90 days was only going to work if it was the first 90 days of the rest of my life. I haven't racked up the months and years of some on this thread but I feel more confident every day about never going back. I know I can't moderate so what's the point in trying and messing up all that time sober?
It's interesting to see this thread. I'm so glad you asked that question because I never had and it really heartens me to see that there are others who did quit at the first time of trying - that is, trying for real, not 'for now', but for ever.
Someone else said on this thread that it feels more normal now not to drink than it used to feel to drink. I notice that now. The habit re-forming is clearly happening, and anyway, I never felt 'normal' when I drank. I always felt I was hiding something from the world. You'll find your own way but I think you've come to the right place to start that journey. For me the decision is made (albeit with a faltering faith at the start) and I'm not changing my mind.
Good luck on your journey too.
Px
It's interesting to see this thread. I'm so glad you asked that question because I never had and it really heartens me to see that there are others who did quit at the first time of trying - that is, trying for real, not 'for now', but for ever.
Someone else said on this thread that it feels more normal now not to drink than it used to feel to drink. I notice that now. The habit re-forming is clearly happening, and anyway, I never felt 'normal' when I drank. I always felt I was hiding something from the world. You'll find your own way but I think you've come to the right place to start that journey. For me the decision is made (albeit with a faltering faith at the start) and I'm not changing my mind.
Good luck on your journey too.
Px
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Originally Posted by Kaily 
Reading through past threads I can see it is a very rocky road with lots of trip ups along the way which scares me.
I would love to hear from people that first time they tried sobriety they succeeded.
I have just completed my first night after 17 years of daily drinking with no exception and want plus need to believe it can be done without the relapses.
Thanks in advance.
I would love to hear from people that first time they tried sobriety they succeeded.
I have just completed my first night after 17 years of daily drinking with no exception and want plus need to believe it can be done without the relapses.
Thanks in advance.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
I gave up drinking the first time I tried
I started drinking at 16 and NEVER stopped till I was 54. That was July 20th, 2012 and I have not had a drink since.
I was having a particularly bad Gout attack and had not been able to put a shoe on my left foot for 3 months. I was in COMPLETE denial that my 8-10 beers a night were causing my Gout attacks. My neighbor and a friend were at my place and we were all drinking beer when my neighbor calmly said to me 'Why don't you just stop drinking?' just as I finished a beer. That was my last drink. As I slept that night, that question kept repeating in my head and by morning I had a long list of reasons to quit and not 1 reason to continue.
I have tried to stop smoking weed and relapsed several times in my life but on 1/2/13, I made the decision to give that up as well. I now have over 2 years Clean AND Sober with the help of the fine folks here at SR and by working the steps in AA with a great sponsor. I also have a service commitment and secretary the weekly Men's meeting at my fellowship.
If you want it bad enough you can stop the 1st time you try but you are not a failure if you relapse. We are not perfect beings and as long as you NEVER give up trying, you have hope. It is not about how many times we fall but rather how many times we get back up.
I was having a particularly bad Gout attack and had not been able to put a shoe on my left foot for 3 months. I was in COMPLETE denial that my 8-10 beers a night were causing my Gout attacks. My neighbor and a friend were at my place and we were all drinking beer when my neighbor calmly said to me 'Why don't you just stop drinking?' just as I finished a beer. That was my last drink. As I slept that night, that question kept repeating in my head and by morning I had a long list of reasons to quit and not 1 reason to continue.
I have tried to stop smoking weed and relapsed several times in my life but on 1/2/13, I made the decision to give that up as well. I now have over 2 years Clean AND Sober with the help of the fine folks here at SR and by working the steps in AA with a great sponsor. I also have a service commitment and secretary the weekly Men's meeting at my fellowship.
If you want it bad enough you can stop the 1st time you try but you are not a failure if you relapse. We are not perfect beings and as long as you NEVER give up trying, you have hope. It is not about how many times we fall but rather how many times we get back up.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
I quit "the first time" I tried. The problem is it took me 25 years of drinking- with my drinking causing obvious problems almost from the beginning- for me to admit that I had to stop. I put the glass down for good in October of 2012 and having had a drink since. By now it's part of my identity.
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