LBrain

looks like my post got lost in double post land somewhere...

short answer is I quit in December last year and haven't had a drink since. AVRT method.

Hawkeye13

The day I realized my drinking had put my long-term job at risk was the day I quit.

My boss asked me if I had been drinking and I said "yes but it won't happen again"

And it didn't. I stopped and stayed stopped almost two years. When I was on vacation over a year ago, I tried "moderation" briefly, saw it didn't work for me and stopped again since then.

Before the "job stop", I would quit for a time and start again, but like Melinda said, the difference for me was that I didn't have a thought / belief that I could somehow drink again when I was successful quitting.
As long as I held the hope of drinking again in some form I couldn't really let go and get over it.

I first thought "6 months, no drinking for any reason" and made that pretty easily.
So I said, "Why not a year" and got that and it got more "normal" to not drink than drink.

That kind of mental "non-negotiable" attitude was the secret for me.
No drinking for any reason, good or bad, end of story for X amount of time.

I'm glad I stopped and don't miss it at all now. Hard to believe but true.

Soberwolf

It took me 3 months for me to get sober i dont know of anyone who stayed sober on thier first attempt but i wont discourage it

i said i was alcoholic in march 2013 my sobriety date is july 14th 2013 il be 18 months sober in 9 days

Eddiebuckle

Kaily,

My sobriety date is 22 December 2009.

When I finally faced up to the obvious solution, I admitted myself into a six week inpatient rehab facility. After I was discharged, I went to 360 meetings in my first year, worked with a therapist for 18 months, got a sponsor, and did something virtually every day to stay sober (read, meetings, work with sponsor, etc.).

To some that might seem like a ridiculous commitment of time, but I had been drinking a fifth of vodka every day. When I got home from rehab, it was a matter of hours before it was obvious that I wasn't "fixed." I still go to three or four meetings a week, work with sponsee's and seek out new books that support my recovery. It's no longer a huge time commitment, but it remains my first priority.

Everybody has different needs in recovery, the thing that differentiates those that make it from those that don't is that they make sobriety the first priority. You have to recognize the situations that threaten your sobriety, and deal with them straight on. Treat it like a life and death choice, because for you it is. Nobody else has to understand it - it is your responsibility to make and enforce these choices.

The only thing that separates those that make it from those that don't is that they work it every day. Even if, god forbid, you relapse - get up, and move forward understanding that you will need to work harder than you previously did.

You can do this. Good luck!

anattaboy

I did not but have met a few who have. I was trying when I got sober this time.

Ultramarathoner

I tried moderation a bunch if times and failed.

I decided to stop entirely and succeeded.

For me, it helped to embrace "forever" from Day 1, recognize being alcohol free was a choice (not a punishment), and to include my wife and son in my commitment.

I recognize this may be counter to 'traditional' approaches- just sharing my keys.

Kaily

What is AVRT please

silentrun

First try with alcohol but multiple smoking attempts. The difference for me really is mindset. With the alcohol I understood that it HAD to stop. It was just not an option as the consequences were too high for me. I didn't feel like there was a next time in my future. With the smoking somehow I give myself permission to do it when the going gets rough. I even know that I manufacture most of the rough times so I can smoke again. I start to crawl out of my skin and I will do anything for a moments relief.
I will tell myself that I need nicotine. I can't wrap my head around enjoying anything in life if there isn't a smoke nearby. It wasn't that way with booze. I didn't think like that I just wanted to get as far away from it as possible. I didn't fantasize using it the way I do when I quit smoking. It was still hard but nothing compared to arguing with yourself over it being a good idea or not.
Now if I can just get that mindset going with other things.

tomsteve

Can't say as I ever had one of them tries or attempts at quitting or stopping. Had times I cut back and once went 30 ish days without drinking, but it was t an attempt at quitting/ stopping.
I surrendered in April 05. I wasn't trying or attempting. I wanted to stop drinking, made a decision to do. Whatever it took and put in the footwork.
Haven't drank since and plan on dieing sober, but I can only do that one day at a time.

Ellay

Beginning of September, I thought I should stop drinking. I was consumed by the thoughts of my next drink. That to me was enough of a rock bottom ( I watched my XAH lose it all, and could not fathom how he could drink after a binge...when I started to use "hair of the dog" that scared me) I lasted 6 days and thought I could moderate. HA! That went down the drain, literally, for the next 3 weeks and I chose the date of 09/29 to be my last day of drinking. I bought 2 bottles of wine, drank them and sobbed to my bf that I had to stop, and that was it. I went to my first AA meeting on the Tues, and have been sober since. What has worked for me is I had a plan, and was going to stick with it, no matter what. I will not go through another Day 1, ever again. I also realize that as soon as I drink, the cravings will be horrible. I have worked so hard to get to a point where they are subsiding - why create havoc in my mind again?
Good luck. You can do it. Relapses are scary, but they are not inevitable. That is what I am saying to myself - and I am only 3 months sober.

freshstart57

I didn't relapse. I quit drinking after 35 years and towards the end, it was a bottle a day of Smirnoff, every day. Sobriety was achievable for me because I decided it was going to happen. Even if nobody had ever gotten sober before me in the history of mankind, it was going to be me. Nothing was ever ever going to stop me or change my mind. I was never going to drink again. Ever.

I looked at what I was throwing away by drinking - my marriage, my children, my job, my home, my mental and physical health, my self respect, all the things I value in my life. I decided if someone were standing in front of me, about to take those things from me by force, I would put a blade in my hand and a wall at my back. I would never allow anyone to take those things from me. That is how I knew I would not fail.

To those who say they don't know if it is possible to do this because they don't know of anyone who did this, I really wish they would read this thread. It is totally possible. I decided my success was completely up to me, not my environment, not my family history, not my character, none of it. This was not a matter of controlling alcohol, it was a matter of controlling my own actions.

AVRT is a frequent topic of discussion in the Secular Connections forum. It is just a tool for sobriety, but it can be a very effective one. I recommend it.

MIRecovery

I made it the first time I was willing to admit I could never drink again. I tried countless times but was never successful because there was always the thought that someday I could drink normally. My AV would work on the Crack in the armor until I would drink again. Made it 6 years once but eventually drank.

5.5 years now and by the grace of God I will never drink again

GracieLou

First try 11/2003, I was sober 5 1/2 months. I drank and never tried again. I was not quitting for me. I drank another decade away.

Second real try 03/24/2013 and I have been sober since.

Alwyshope12

It takes a few ups and downs to figure out what quitting will entail. When I finally understood that alcohol was both the poison and the cure for my anxiety and that it was what killing me, it took me about 2 months of making it a week or two then coming back to drink one night.

Without fail that really put me on my ass, and hard.... When I finally started to go to meetings, and took myself out of the situations that would induce me to drink, I was able to quit.

For me the key was to build a support network that was there to help me get through it and understood the emotional and physical pain I was enduring. I knew that drinking was destroying my emotional stability and had already cost me dearly in relationships and professionally.

Of course, after about a year, I tried to drink in moderation, and did in fact drink significantly less than I had before, but after a year of moderation, my emotions were becoming a wreck again, and I needed to quit once again.

I am now 2 months stronger, my head is slowly coming around, but you always need to be on guard against the ravages of drinking. it is cunning, baffling and powerful.

Don't get discouraged, and keep posting here.

DoubleDragons

I have been sober for over 15 months and this is the first time that I tried to quit drinking. I drank pretty regularly for 27 years since the age of 15. In the beginning (heck, even in hard times now, like the holidays), the wisdom of One Day At A Time worked for me. If I had to go to bed at 7 pm (as evenings were my rough time), I did it. I posed this same question to SR, as you did, when I was starting out and I was amazed at how many people with really long term sobriety (years, even decades!) were successful with their first try. I think once anyone gets in the mindset that alcohol is no longer an option for them, and truly accepts that, the odds are greatly in your favor!! Good luck!!

JT0626

No, not really for me. I had tried many times unsuccessfully before finding SR. Being on SR, reading old threads, & interacting with others has been really beneficial for me.

Soberpotamus

I was never 100% committed to sobriety until April of 2013. I have multiple stops/starts since 2003, but I wouldn't call them "relapses."

For me, the difference was in knowing I "should" stop drinking, and actually wanting to live sober. Until you want it, you'll allow for the excuses to pick up again.

DoubleDragons

Another thought: It really helped me to start looking at alcohol in a different light. A lot of us glamorize alcohol. I think it is called euphoric recall. For those of us raised in heavy drinking/alcoholic households, every memory (including the good ones) are tied into alcohol. The book Quit the Drink . . . Easily by Jason Vale didn't necessarily give me the tools to quit, but it made my logical mind look at alcohol as the poisonous, pointless drug that it is, for anyone really. I really recommend reading it. I keep a sobriety journal that has a list of my most humiliating, painful, dangerous, etc. drinking episodes, a good-bye letter to alcohol, inspiring quotes from books and SR. This really helps me to see alcohol for what it really is, not what I/AV "imagined" it to be. Finally, I committed to healthy living. I gave up read meat, Diet Cokes, I exercise more (walking and yoga), so alcohol didn't fit into that equation either. I also used my superficial vanity as motivator. Even JLo doesn't drink alcohol because she believes it is a skin killer!

Tang

1st try? I'm still trying it's been one long try...

MesaMan

I did 3 Sobriety stints that I recall. I clearly remember the first 2 just being 'random'. As in, 'yeah, I'm gonna quit just for grins'. One ~1.5 year stint ended when a Relative abroad shipped me 3 fab Single Malts. D'OH!!! Can't be letting Scotch of that caliber just sit around, eh? I did not then, and don't feel now, as though I 'relapsed' that time. I had not yet made my Big Plan. My Quality Of Life was tanking, but had not yet fully tanked. After Spray Painting a Deck at one of our Houses sans Mask on a breezy day, the 'heavy' Stain Components trapped in my Liver. Along with still Drinking, I was near Death.

All this was after Early Retirement, so the usual pressures were nil. No Jail. Damaged a Car, but didn't crash it full on. Remarkably, no DUIs since College. A Statistics-defying run of pure Luck right there. Some creeping Health issues I self-identified. Having several hidden 1.75 Liter 'Handles' going simultaneously for 24/7 Drinking over years causes problems, as I discovered. I skip the useless, Hand-Wringing Definitions: I had a serious Alcohol problem.

The current, final, non-negotiable decision, per AVRT and time here on SR, is simply etched in Stone. Full stop. 1 year in this week. My own need was to carry around my Sobriety in what I call 'my SCUBA Tank' on my Back. I internalized the decision, and don't depend on 'externals' to remain Sober.

It's extremely liberating to be done forever, and it suits my latent laziness on this Topic. I simply can't be bothered with continuous 'struggle', so there is none. When you're truly, mentally 'done': that's the Big Damned Deal. IMO, the subsequent implementation consists of details: customize/go with whatever Tools suit cha while getting on with a Recovered - not perpetually-Recovering - Life.

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