Mrrryah1

I dunno how or why it started but my fiancé got home from a hunting trip today and ever since I've been just seething in anger.

I just want to be left alone. And we live in a tiny little condo where I have no privacy and I want him to leave.

He asked me where I was going tonight I said a hockey game with a friend. He asked if I had told her I'm sober (duh - yes - of course I did) and I told him to mind his own business. It's not his job to be trying to enforce and/or protect my sobriety. I'm a big girl.

So of course he thinks this means I'm going to drink. No - I'm not. But I'll let him think that and maybe next time he will mind his own business and give me some trust.

Grrrr. Annoyed and resentful. Just had to vent somewhere.

Just wanna be left alone is that too much to ask? I'm feeling smothered and like I want to just relax in bed by myself and read a book in silence but I can't.

ScottFromWI

Relationships are a tough one. Perhaps you could just stay home and read a book as you say....tell him that's what you'd like to do instead of the hockey game and see.

Anna

Yes, if you want to stay home and ready a book, do so.

Sounds like a good plan to me.

Anna

Yes, if you want to stay home and ready a book, do so.

Sounds like a good plan to me.

Soberwolf

Mrryah its obvious he cares so i would just have a chat get it off your chest calmly and express how your feeling smothered

sorry you feel like this reading in the bedroom thats a good idea

i felt like this in early sobriety my gf was so scared mrrryah that i would drink it takes time

big hugs

beach20

There was a discussion in AA today about solitude vs. loneliness. I learned that a lot of us need some self directed solitude to rest our minds and connect with our souls.
Maybe you could explain that a little solitude helps you stay sober.

ubntubnt

Do you want to go to the hockey game or you want to stay home but for him to leave and leave you alone?

you said you are going to see a hockey game and he simply asked you if the friend you are going with knows that you won't be drinking. Thats all, no big deal. Would you prefer he didn't show any interest? I don't think he was trying to enforce your sobriety....did he insist you stay home so that you don't drink? Or insist that he came along to mind you? nope.

If you live in a tiny apartment then I suppose its almost inevitable that you may feel smothered from time to time so maybe just explain that to him rather than snap at him.

desypete

so for all his fears all you can come up with is how bad he makes you feel as he might be worried
this is were we have to step back and look at others instead of our poor me self

have you put this guy through hell with your drinking or not ? does he have real concern or fears about you drinking again or not ?

in other words have you told him you have quit drinking only to end up going out and ending up in a position were you accidentally drank again ?

in aa we can not get away with our old ways and we have to start to look at ourselves in a hard way otherwise we end up getting resentful at what we see at interference when all it is really is someone cares for us and might have a real fear themselves.

i can remember telling people i had stoped drinking and i expected them to play a fanfare for me and to be at ease now for the rest of there lives that i dont drink

it never occured to me that they will have heard me say it a million times before and ended up getting let down over and over again because i just couldnt stay stopped

in the end they soon leave us as they can not live with it all the disappointments and hurts.

Magellan

Can't add much more, except to say that I'm pretty sure he loves you a great deal, wouldn't even ask if he did not care