Soberwolf

Gabrielle whenever your ready the support the friendship its here

hopefully speak soon

GabrielleSolis1

Purpleknight- I don't have that. If I had to deal with work and then get up in the day, I wouldn't do this.

I apply for hundreds of jobs every month. I don't have my own place. I am constantly working for free. I don't even get paid. I'm 37 and have two diplomas. I live currently at my parents house because I can't survive on my own in these circumstances. I lost a baby, my fiancé, my everything.

I bought my own flat when I was 22. By 27 I had £10,000 in savings.

I have absolutely nothing right now and one fallopian tube. Yeah, I'm pissed off. Yeah, I don't see how this crap about being 'positive' gets anyone anywhere.

I am just some loser who tries so ******* hard but lives as a hermit in a bedroom in their parents house. I never thought for one second that I would end up being such a loser at 37.

Dee74

Where does being negative get you though Gabrielle?

D

GabrielleSolis1

Really don't care for your opinion Dee. You have the attitude I don't care for. If someone reached out to me, I wouldn't respond with a negative backlash comment. That's not how I would talk to someone.

Dee74

I never intended it to be a 'negative backlash comment' Gabrielle.
My apologies if it reads that way to you.

It's clear I don't seem to have what you're looking for.

I hope someone else here can help you find what you want

D

Soberpotamus

Gabrielle, he wasn't chastising. He meant that focusing on the negative is only going to grind you further down, and at the very least will keep you spinning your wheels.

Kris47

You have to love yourself and that happens when you realize that it is the only thing that will help you. That and the love of God. And that you want to live.

GabrielleSolis1

What an absolute load of old shhhhit!

Since when did any of the things suggested get me a job??

Are you saying that it is actually my own fault that I'm in the situation I am in?

What I really don't need right now is stupid clichés or god fearing statements. Hahahaha- so ridiculous. Really not helpful.

Della1968

That is exactly what you are doing. I think Dee had been far more patient with you than a lot of us would have been. Is someone holding a gun to your head and making you log in here if we are all so worthless? I wish you all the best.

Dee74

People are taking time out to help you Gabrielle.

If you cant be civil, I'll close the thread.

Dee
Moderator
SR

GabrielleSolis1

I'm just upset,

PurpleKnight

I used to think that too though about a wife and kids, I don't have either of them and in my mind would convince myself if I had a wife and kids that things would be different, but they wouldn't have been, I wanted to drink and getting wasted each night would have still been my aim each day, sadly alcoholism would have made me that despicable, and I know that because my dad was an alcoholic, he drank himself to death, and didn't give one thought about his wife and kids, so why would I have been any different?

I instead had to find something within, what life did I want for me? what did I want? forget about other people, what do YOU want from this life? aren't we all deserving of a slice of happiness, the people with the jobs, for me the guys that get that girl, settle down and have kids? and btw I'm still single with no kids, but Sobriety has at least given me some hope that some day it may be possible!!

. . . and that's the key in all of this hope, alcohol provided no hope, Sobriety gives me at least a slither of something, I'm not sure what it is, but it makes me feel at least marginally better than drinking myself into oblivion each night!!

SR is here for you Gabrielle, because many of us have been there!!

Kris47

There are no half measures.

Tonks

While we may not share your specific circumstances, all of us here are very experienced in the art of being upset and looking for something to lash out at. I'm so very sorry you are hurting right now, everyone here is just doing their best to be helpful.

Best wishes to you and please be safe.

Kris47

Here if you need us.

fini

Are you saying that it is actually my own fault that I'm in the situation I am in?

hm...are you saying you're simply a complete victim who had nothing to say or effect about the situation you now find yourself in?
more to the point: are you saying you're not now responsible for getting out of that situation?

What I really don't need right now is stupid clichés or god fearing statements. Hahahaha- so ridiculous. Really not helpful.

what DO you need, GS?
you've told us, variously, that you want to moderate, that you don't want to quit, that you won't respond, that if someone DID respond, you wouldn't lash out, and then you ridicule people who do respond and dismiss with disdain what they offer and after all that you tell us we're not helpful...

no magic mind-readers here, GS, but a whole bunch of people offering.
maybe you could crack that wall a bit and let something in....

try it; can be scary as fiery hell the first few times

GabrielleSolis1

Just give me a couple of months and I'll get back to you. I have a lot of pressure in my life right now and need to be focused for a lot of things. Yes, i'll be drinking, but it will be easier to make a commitment to sobriety in April.

Take it as you will- but my life is hell right now. Without the alcohol as a medication I know I would do something permanent. The alcohol feeds a need right now that I can't find anywhere else.

sugarbear1

as long as alcohol worked for me, I wasn't interested in staying stopped.

I feel your pain and hope it lessons for you or even goes away. I wish you well

fini

no problem, GS.


alcohol fed a need for me, too. figuring out just what that need really is FOR has been a challenge. but i'm sober, so i can step into that challenge.

hm... you feel drinking saves you from suicide? is that what you're hinting at? the lesser of two bad options?

there ARE other options, not just those two.

i'm interested to know what you were thinking/hoping when you wrote your tag-line: there are no half measures.

in my own life, i've found many. mixed blessing. some speak to my human limitations, others i use as cop-outs. mostly, though, the either/or stance hasn't served me well. except in things such as getting sober.

Soberwolf

Hi Gabrielle i can tell your upset im not going to try & advise you, what i will say is i hope you stick around while still trying

& if you dont please come bk as i think it will really help in time

Whenever your ready hopefully we'l speak before April

Yo can do this