What is a Responsible Drinker?
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Houston, TX
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What is a Responsible Drinker?
Husband is 28 days sober.... lingo I will know as a "dry drunk". He has read a couple of little books on 'daily meditations' and hasn't gone to meeting... yet. He's forced by TX DUI laws to have an Intoxalock at house that he has to blow in 3 times a day. His sobriety is forced... by law, but he does recognize that he has a problem, and he's trying as hard as he can. I am amazed by what he has done.
Court is 10 days away and I haven't know him to be sober this many days. 10 years together.
I still socially drink. I will meet with friends at our local and need to figure out his boundaries. He can meet me up there, and his tolerance is 2 hours. I love to hear him laugh with everyone (it's a different laugh than with me and I'm so happy to hear him talk football with the boys), but don't want him to be mad at me. His recent sobriety is making all of us question... what's the difference between a responsible drinker and a high functioning A?
Court is 10 days away and I haven't know him to be sober this many days. 10 years together.
I still socially drink. I will meet with friends at our local and need to figure out his boundaries. He can meet me up there, and his tolerance is 2 hours. I love to hear him laugh with everyone (it's a different laugh than with me and I'm so happy to hear him talk football with the boys), but don't want him to be mad at me. His recent sobriety is making all of us question... what's the difference between a responsible drinker and a high functioning A?
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Well, from the sound of it, he's definitely not a responsible drinker.
I would think a responsible drinker is a non-alcoholic, moderate drinker. Moderate drinking in the US is a few drinks a week. I think for women, that's less than seven drinks.
If it takes the court system to get him sober, he's got a problem for sure.
I would think a responsible drinker is a non-alcoholic, moderate drinker. Moderate drinking in the US is a few drinks a week. I think for women, that's less than seven drinks.
If it takes the court system to get him sober, he's got a problem for sure.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
A responsible drinker is someone who knows its better to stop at 1 than to carry on and doesnt bat an eyelid in doing so
A responsible drinker is someone who knows full well what effect alcohol has on the body and knows it is dangerous to over do it and for that very reason they hardly drink
No Alcoholic stops at one hi functioning or otherwise
Im glad your husband is sober even if it is forced by a dui but hopefully in this time he might see its a better life
Tell him well done on 28 days that really is awesome & i hope court goes well
Welcome to the site Patchofblue youl find a ton of support here & in our friends & family section
Nice to meet you
A responsible drinker is someone who knows full well what effect alcohol has on the body and knows it is dangerous to over do it and for that very reason they hardly drink
No Alcoholic stops at one hi functioning or otherwise
Im glad your husband is sober even if it is forced by a dui but hopefully in this time he might see its a better life
Tell him well done on 28 days that really is awesome & i hope court goes well
Welcome to the site Patchofblue youl find a ton of support here & in our friends & family section
Nice to meet you
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In my opinion, there is no such thing as a 'high-functioning alcoholic'. At best, it is a phase that alcoholics pass through. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. Does your husband believe that he is an alcoholic?
It sounds like you want your husband to meet up with you and friends at a bar, but you don't want him to be upset about it. I can tell you that for me, I couldn't be around alcohol for many months when I began recovery. It just didn't work for me, so I wouldn't have made it under those circumstances.
It sounds like you want your husband to meet up with you and friends at a bar, but you don't want him to be upset about it. I can tell you that for me, I couldn't be around alcohol for many months when I began recovery. It just didn't work for me, so I wouldn't have made it under those circumstances.
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Yes, new to his sobriety, but still need to navigate the landmines. I asked about his boundaries, and it changes day by day. It's important to me and his family that he's successful. Don't want to push him, and he seems to be doing what he can, but I would like to still socially drink.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Buffalo, NY
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If moderation worked for us, nobody would be here.
Almost everyone here has tried what you describe and failed. Maybe he can go a day. Maybe a week. Maybe a month. However he will fall back to what he was. That's just the sad part of this.
Almost everyone here has tried what you describe and failed. Maybe he can go a day. Maybe a week. Maybe a month. However he will fall back to what he was. That's just the sad part of this.
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Thanks, soberwolf, I appreciate it. The lines of delineation are slight: I can socially drink, but don't want to set him off.
Our social life is tied up in our local bar: vacations, camping, traveling, games and so forth. We've cancelled upcoming camping trips and our annual trip to New Orleans (!) because I don't know what he'll be like sober. All of those activities involve alcohol and also worth mentioning... his boss.
Our social life is tied up in our local bar: vacations, camping, traveling, games and so forth. We've cancelled upcoming camping trips and our annual trip to New Orleans (!) because I don't know what he'll be like sober. All of those activities involve alcohol and also worth mentioning... his boss.
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Kero- He has a monitor at the house that he has to blow into 3 times a day. With a camera attached. He can't slip or he violates and might serve time. I met him at 24, and he already had 2 DUI arrests then. He's been good since (or hasn't been caught) for 10 years. I'm sad/glad it I jcame to this, as I've been through a lot with him already. I just want him to be healthy.
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Usually to a question like this (but obviously another question) I would say "Who has two thumbs and is a...? This guy." However, that is not me. I would drink until I didnt have anymore booze or passed out.
But a responsible drinker like my wife is... one who doesnt drive after even a few drinks; one who doesnt drink just for the sake of drinking; one who does not lay hung over in bed all the next day after a huge night; one who can drink one and not drink anymore... the list goes on and on... I am none of those.
But a responsible drinker like my wife is... one who doesnt drive after even a few drinks; one who doesnt drink just for the sake of drinking; one who does not lay hung over in bed all the next day after a huge night; one who can drink one and not drink anymore... the list goes on and on... I am none of those.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
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Patch of blue have you tried our friends & family section you will find addiitional support there aswell as here
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Originally Posted by PatchOfBlue 
Our social life is tied up in our local bar: vacations, camping, traveling, games and so forth. We've cancelled upcoming camping trips and our annual trip to New Orleans (!) because I don't know what he'll be like sober. All of those activities involve alcohol and also worth mentioning... his boss.
If you want to support him, support that you guys don't need to build your life around a bar.
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Location: Houston, TX
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Will work to try. I'll find my backbone and be strong for him. Getting back to work this week will put my mind at ease. Losing friends is hard, but if they are worthy, they will be still be friends if we are sober. And... go camping with us without booze. Jager be damned! Fire pits not Fireball!
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Join Date: Nov 2014
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Wow, he sounds ultra responsible. At least he is following through with the court mandated testing and he is passing. I guess only time will tell how this plays out. But he seems like he is doing the right thing. Bravo.
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Hello and Welcome,
I know you have your husband's best at heart. However, being sober almost a year, I know I couldn't have done it watching others in close proximity, drinking. At least not early on. If your husband is alcoholic, only he can answer that; drinking is progressive and it will only get worse in time. I am fortunate that my husband quit with me. He was not an alcoholic. Wishing the best for the both of you.
I know you have your husband's best at heart. However, being sober almost a year, I know I couldn't have done it watching others in close proximity, drinking. At least not early on. If your husband is alcoholic, only he can answer that; drinking is progressive and it will only get worse in time. I am fortunate that my husband quit with me. He was not an alcoholic. Wishing the best for the both of you.
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