pumpkinny

As weird as it sounds, I'm glad to be at work. I don't love my job, not by far. I am just happy to be back to "normal" time.

ANewDayNYC

Work has been crazy for me too - it's hard getting out of bed in morning but just taking it one day at a time and trying not to let the stress get to me.

SDH73

Well, this is my scheduled day off, but someone called in sick so I'm going in. Was looking forward to a quiet night of laundry, SR, and Blacklist on netflix. My AV was going crazy last night, though (had yesterday off), and I know that if I work tonight and don't get home until late I won't have to listen to it. So that's good. Plus I'll make a little extra $$$.

Sulu1

I certainly was. I leave at 7am and don't get home till after 7pm so it's a tiring day, but as usual it wasn't as bad as I built it up to be in my head. I'm just relieved I didn't have to do it with a hangover!

JD4010

Oh your god, yes!!

I came back to 409 unread emails this a.m. And I have a big meeting tonight where everyone is going to be really p!ssed off. And I have to stand in front of them and take it.

I'm to the point where I don't like to take time off because I get so far behind.

enfinthechange

Its funny really how almost everyone has to work, and almost everyone pretty much doesn't really want to, or would rather do something else, like I don't mind working, and I work hard so I believe, but it always seems to not really make me happy.... not sure what would, a job in nature making small quilts out of moss for fairies probably!!! in the sun, with my children when they are in a good mood.... and a big blue sky.

But that would be boring every day huh.... theres just something about bleeding yourself dry for other people and not really fulfilling your dreams I guess... that's what I though connected me to my real dreams was drinking... but realistically it was stealing my real dreams, and making everything more crappy and me more unhappy!

Am looking forward to feeling less full of cold so I an start to enjoy clarity

I really appreciate you all responding and helping me along, and I hope maybe it has helped some of you that needed it too!

x

Aellyce

I've had this tendency in my whole life... and I'm quite sure it's not only me. I have an innovator kind of spirit and like to come up with new ideas and new directions all the time. Drinking or not, really. Of course the "ideas" under the influence did not always stand up to reality...

Anyhow, so I experienced a hundred times that I get very enthusiastic with new ideas, perspectives, projects, etc... during the planning and learning phase. But once they become "real" (means: I actually managed to make them real), they also become chores and much less inspiring and interesting... so my mind wants to fly again onto the next challenge and idea. I've managed to create a lifestyle for myself that accommodates this aspect of me pretty well, but to tell the truth, it's still the same. Once work becomes "work", it loses some of its appeal. For me, one solution has been to surround myself with others that actually love to grab new ideas and run with them, do whatever they like with them... and they have a much better ability with follow-up and completing things than myself. I typically get frustrated and disenchanted with follow-up, so working with others who love just that is invaluable for me.

enfinthechange

That sound squite like me, I love ideas, new ways of doing things, innovations... but get bored quite quickly with them, however great they are... so 7 years in the same job, repeating each years tasks over again, done all the extras for free, no chance of promotion or a raise... I am bored now!!! So I either cope, or leap. but not drink!

Aellyce

Enfinthechange, I'm glad you are determined not to drink. It'll only make things easier.

I don't know what your area of work is... mine is scientific research. The lifestyle is very free and pretty much as unstructured as I want, beyond some quite basic ties, obligatory meetings, etc, I organize and carry out my work any way I want. I don't have any sort of close supervision on daily or weekly basis... it's more that I need to demonstrate progress from those ideas to my department and to the funding agencies that support our work. So it's very free in the everyday... I love this, but it does not always serve me well as I have a tendency for distracting myself with... well, now new things. And of course during my drinking, it was the booze.

I've tried a few ways of working... started out in academia straight from college, and that was my way for many years. But before that, in my late teens and early 20's, I also experimented with business and worked with my father (who's been an independent entrepreneur in most of his life) in this area. When I started my current academic job ~5 years ago, I was a heavy drinker... I did not like having to have a workplace, a team, shared responsibilities, etc. So after ~2 years in the position, I kinda separated myself and became an independent contractor, still working for the same organization, but not controlled by them. I just returned from that in the past spring, after getting sober... so I am a more conventional employee again. Still same work. Just all these changing configurations. I do appreciate having some external control over myself now, from this institution, because it helps me keep on track. But I still have the day-to-day freedom.

enfinthechange

Sounds like you have a very interesting life - what kind of thing do you research ( you obv don't have to say on here) . I am a teacher , don't want to say too much incase anyone knows me on here actually, as I am quite an unusual entity in the teaching world... So I have no flexibility in curriculum, and tonnes of crap demands on my time, paperwork, meetings, OFSTED threats, observations, all that shite.... I was doing loads of Head of Dept stuff for free, as I quite like thinking of new things, new ideas, and I like making handouts/leaflets/ doing liason etc. But now I kind of think they are taking the **** abit in terms of stress and money and time.

I love teaching and inspiring , making my subjects lively and cool... but I am just worn down I think. I feel no respect or value from my bosses (except one) and I just wonder why I am working myself half to death????

Oh well, better get back to marking..... still no booze

Tang

You raise a good point. Funny, I look back upon old jobs with fond memories, yet I know when I was doing them I complained about those jobs. Now that I have a job with very poor guidelines for success (large corporation, many managers, no clear goals) I am more unhappy than ever with work.

Aellyce

I said it many times here. My current area of research is the neurobiology of addiction I'm a molecular biologist by training and history, but in this current job I got into lots of behavioral science as well -- something I recognize as definitely natural for me. But before this, I worked on plants, viruses, cancer, stem cells. You get a degree in biology and can do all this schit, given you don't want to settle down early

Teaching is great. I don't do much classroom teaching, but have supervised the work and career development of (mostly) grad students for nearly 10 years now.

I would suggest, if you are relatively newly sober, that you conform with what may seem "boring" in your job right now, and focus on recovery for a while. In a way, people like us, who maintained our jobs through alcoholism, are lucky... please don't abuse that. Get a bit grounded in sobriety, and then address the next phase of your professional "dreams"

enfinthechange

That's a fantastic area of research, really worthy it seems... my degree is geology, so it's either work with oil or mining for large multinational organisations whose ethos doesn't necessarily match mine... or find something else! So I teach to enthuse others about my passion! Its not teaching which I don't like... I love that bit mostly... its the other shite...like OFSTED, observations, meetings, doing school assemblies, organising big fieldtrips, paperwork and everything else that no-one else can be arsed to do in the department.!!! I feel trapped in a net like a fish struggling to get out....

Oh well, as you say, as I get more sober time in, I may just swing around my feelings... its the height of dreary winter too here, that doesn't help much at all!

Thanks for talking to me, there's not may people to actually talk to who won't judge/remember/ think you whinging on endlessly!!!

Notmyrealname

I dread work every day. Mostly hate my job. But those bills aren't going to pay themselves.

It could be a lot worse. I count myself fortunate.