I'm failing at life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Down South
Posts: 709
You are not a loser! If you are an Eagle Scout, you are a person of great determination and ability. Withdrawal is a beast. But it does end. Drinking more just postpones the inevitable.
I hope you quit. Keep hanging around.
I hope you quit. Keep hanging around.
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Steve, you summoned up the courage to admit to a problem and then joined this site. That doesn't sound like a loser to me. It sounds like someone who is determined to face up to and conquer a very real problem 
Welcome, you now have thousands of people who understand and who will be fighting this battle alongside you xxx
Welcome, you now have thousands of people who understand and who will be fighting this battle alongside you xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I have problems with seeing myself as a failure too. I lost everything. Been in recovery for over 3 years and can't get a decent job because of a bankruptcy, DUI, and spotty job history with multiple terminations. I am 38 make less money than I did at 25. I don't have a car or any assets, live pay check to pay check.
I am very worried about my future because I can't seem to escape my past. It follows me around wherever I go which leads to relapses when I feel hopeless.
What keeps me going is that in the back of my mind I know there is something out there for me. I see a therapist to work through my shame and guilt. Tackle the alcoholism first. I am almost a year sober but still a dry drunk. I have nightmares and anxiety but it's part of recovering from years of alcoholism that Have to be faced.
You're not alone. I know it can be done but just takes time and patience.
I am very worried about my future because I can't seem to escape my past. It follows me around wherever I go which leads to relapses when I feel hopeless.
What keeps me going is that in the back of my mind I know there is something out there for me. I see a therapist to work through my shame and guilt. Tackle the alcoholism first. I am almost a year sober but still a dry drunk. I have nightmares and anxiety but it's part of recovering from years of alcoholism that Have to be faced.
You're not alone. I know it can be done but just takes time and patience.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
Originally Posted by Callmesteve 
I'm so afraid of failing.
And then BAM the whole sequence was a success! Just one long attempt at quitting in which you eventually prevailed.
I think that is a better way to look at it.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Welcome to SR!
Anxiety and the shakes are a pain in the butt. On many occasions, I would give in and have a beer or two for the instant relief it provided. Obviously, that's a bad idea and just postpones the inevitable.
To deal with the shakes I've gone to the local "prompt care" or whatever they call the walk in medical clinics in your neck of the woods. I told them I was trying to quit drinking but was uncomfortable dealing with the shakes. An hour later I had a prescription for valium which I would take as directed for about 36 hours, that usually did the trick.
Unfortunately, I would save the remainder of the valium just in case I had the shakes again in the future. Sure enough, two months later it would happen again, but this time I wouldn't need to go to the Dr. for the shakes. I thought I was pretty smart, planning ahead for my next withdrawal. What a fool!
Anxiety and the shakes are a pain in the butt. On many occasions, I would give in and have a beer or two for the instant relief it provided. Obviously, that's a bad idea and just postpones the inevitable.
To deal with the shakes I've gone to the local "prompt care" or whatever they call the walk in medical clinics in your neck of the woods. I told them I was trying to quit drinking but was uncomfortable dealing with the shakes. An hour later I had a prescription for valium which I would take as directed for about 36 hours, that usually did the trick.
Unfortunately, I would save the remainder of the valium just in case I had the shakes again in the future. Sure enough, two months later it would happen again, but this time I wouldn't need to go to the Dr. for the shakes. I thought I was pretty smart, planning ahead for my next withdrawal. What a fool!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
whether or not a doctor visit stays on your record is pointless if you are a slave to the bottle forever, living and having a record is better than dying without one.
see a psychiatrist - it's "confidential" ?
see a psychiatrist - it's "confidential" ?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Well dude. So many similarities here it's uncanny.
Apparently we are taking the first step in identifying with our drink problem, and all is not lost if we make every effort to resolve that. We can do so much more than that. Either way we cannot continue to feel this way. Lots of people have turned around from this, you often hear about it, but here is the only place I personally have ever seen all the evidence of that. So many encouraging comments and advice from people who have been there...
So it can be done. Let's do this man. All the best
Apparently we are taking the first step in identifying with our drink problem, and all is not lost if we make every effort to resolve that. We can do so much more than that. Either way we cannot continue to feel this way. Lots of people have turned around from this, you often hear about it, but here is the only place I personally have ever seen all the evidence of that. So many encouraging comments and advice from people who have been there...
So it can be done. Let's do this man. All the best
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Welcome Steve - you can do this! And I echo those who recommend seeing a doctor to help with withdrawals, and their take on it 'being on your record' (we don't have that here in Australia, but frankly, even if we did: like others said and as I've experienced over a long life of drinking, then recovering, then relapsing, recovering again now: having a 'record' trumps continuing to live the miserable, progressively worse and worse life of active alcoholism, which ends in a very nasty death by numerous means.
Be kind to yourself, Mr Eagle Scout.
Be kind to yourself, Mr Eagle Scout.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Welcome Steve - you can do this! And I echo those who recommend seeing a doctor to help with withdrawals, and their take on it 'being on your record' (we don't have that here in Australia, but frankly, even if we did: like others said and as I've experienced over a long life of drinking, then recovering, then relapsing, recovering again now: having a 'record' trumps continuing to live the miserable, progressively worse and worse life of active alcoholism, which ends in a very nasty death by numerous means.
Be kind to yourself, Mr Eagle Scout.
Be kind to yourself, Mr Eagle Scout.
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Steve if physical withdrawal symptoms are a problem you might want to really consider talking to your doctor. I'm pretty sure your medical records are only accessible to you and your healthcare providers, and what is said between you and them is confidential.
And there is a difference between failing and being a failure. As long as you keep trying to make the effort, you are never a failure and certainly not a loser.
Good luck man you can figure this out.
And there is a difference between failing and being a failure. As long as you keep trying to make the effort, you are never a failure and certainly not a loser.
Good luck man you can figure this out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 91
Originally Posted by Callmesteve
So I'll try again. If I fail its on me. But I'm am Eagle Scout. Quiting is something I try my best to avoid.
That's alcoholism masquerading as tough-guy-talk. I said those same things.
Listen, alcoholism and addiction are diseases (genetic, physiological, psychological) that are recognized by the medical community as being equally legitimate to AIDS, cancer, diabetes, autism, and bipolar disorder.
My medical chart is a horror show. In the US, HIPAA protects my medical privacy and I cannot be denied health care coverage because I have alcoholism. I cannot be discriminated against by employers because I have a disease. However, I can be fired for my actions if I don't properly manage that disease.
10.5 months sober. Not too long ago, I was in your shoes. I get it. If you're an alcoholic, the ballsiest, hardest, and most hardcore tough guy thing you could do would be to get sober and stay sober.
I wasn't sentenced to sobriety. My life freakin rocks (most days) and it's because I'm sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 91
Originally Posted by Callmesteve
So I'll try again. If I fail its on me. But I'm am Eagle Scout. Quiting is something I try my best to avoid.
That's alcoholism masquerading as tough-guy-talk. I said those same things.
Listen, alcoholism and addiction are diseases (genetic, physiological, psychological) that are recognized by the medical community as being equally legitimate to AIDS, cancer, diabetes, autism, and bipolar disorder.
My medical chart is a horror show. In the US, HIPAA protects my medical privacy and I cannot be denied health care coverage because I have alcoholism. I cannot be discriminated against by employers because I have a disease. However, I can be fired for my actions if I don't properly manage that disease.
10.5 months sober. Not too long ago, I was in your shoes. I get it. If you're an alcoholic, the ballsiest, hardest, and most hardcore tough guy thing you could do would be to get sober and stay sober.
I wasn't sentenced to sobriety. My life freakin rocks (most days) and it's because I'm sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Originally Posted by MrLofg0029
I can see the tombstone: He never quit (even drinking, which killed him at 42).
Steve man. Yeah i too wasted too many years feeling like that. A lot of that was being projected on me, by say my father and ex partner…
In other ways I had accomplished a lot! In ways that were important to me, I never had it so good. And who else can set that benchmark but ourselves.
The benefit of hindsite buddy, don't be so hard on yourself. Alcohol will make you feel like that
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