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A New Plan

Old 01-03-2015, 02:46 PM
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A New Plan

Hello,

My name is Dan, I'm a successful, active and happily married young man (32-years-old) and only now am I finally seeking help through my recovery with alcoholism, addiction, and impulsive behavior.

I started drinking seriously at 19, found drugs; specifically stimulants, at 23, and decided to hide my drinking from my family, spouse and co workers at 30. I've been very lucky to have never received a DUI despite having drove drunk or high hundreds of times. I've never been arrested nor sent to the hospital, despite having mixed Xanax with hard liquor for a brief period in 2011.

In July 2012 I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.

I was functional...for a time. I also white knuckled it for 10
Months. My streak came crashing down when, on NYE 2015, I drank two liters of bourbon on an empty stomach, got kicked out of a bar for harassment, and had to face reality that I'm an alcoholic with severe mental issues.

I've never truly committed myself to any treatment with any serious intention, but have found I am completely powerless over alcohol, drugs and impulsive behavior. I hope I can find and provide some help in this forum, for I am dedicated to recovery in this new year.

Best to All,
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Old 01-03-2015, 02:50 PM
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a real diagnosis is freeing!

there is a way out and you can do this!!!
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Old 01-03-2015, 02:52 PM
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Welcome, Dan!

Have you been taking medication for the bipolar disorder so that it is controlled? I hope so.

I'm glad you have decided to stop drinking.
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Old 01-03-2015, 02:58 PM
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Thank you, Anna, I'm new to any sort of forum and I've been very reluctant to speak at all about what I feel and am going through

Yes, I've been prescribed Celexa since last summer. Celexa has helped hold my impulsive behavior and mood swings to a minimum.
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Old 01-03-2015, 03:04 PM
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Welcome, DanCO, to SR.
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Old 01-03-2015, 03:16 PM
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I agree
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Old 01-03-2015, 03:21 PM
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Thank you
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Old 01-03-2015, 03:35 PM
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Great to meet you DanCO. You're never alone with the struggle.
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Old 01-03-2015, 03:51 PM
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Thank you, Hevyn

I have felt sick and angry for so long it hurts. No more turning back, no more moping. I look forward to sharing yours and everyone's stories in our fight.
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Old 01-28-2015, 05:08 PM
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I'm 29 days removed from my last relapse but am struggling immensely with something...

My brothers are my best friends. I'd been lying to both my brothers for three months prior that I had my drinking and substance abuse under control; hiding my impulses and the amount I drank and how often I used benzodiazepines for anxiety directly caused by my drinking

Both are extremely disappointed in my lying, my hiding, and my last outing (I drank for 12hrs, went to a bar, acted completely out of control and was asked to leave - one of our best friends had to bring me home in a complete blackout) I'd never asked for help before this event and have committed myself to professional help and personal improvement

I haven't spoke to my youngest brother since the 1st. I don't know what to tell him and doubt he will believe my true commitment and improvement. I miss him so much and worry that our relationship has been compromised with my poor decision making, and cannot stop thinking that both my brothers have lost faith in me

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? Will time heal all wounds? How might I go about my recovery and show my brothers that I'm serious in sobriety and healthy living?

SR has been a wonderful resource and place of support

Thank you
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Old 01-28-2015, 05:28 PM
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Just keep focusing on your recovery and the rest will fall into place. When we lie to those closest to us it takes awhile for them to get over the hurt and trust again.
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Old 01-28-2015, 05:34 PM
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Time is a great healer danco

Well done on your 29 days bud
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Old 01-28-2015, 05:47 PM
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Dan, sometimes we just have to show people that we are changing. And, that can often take time and patience. Stay on course with your recovery.
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Old 01-28-2015, 09:38 PM
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I heartily endorse the advice here Dan - this is your recovery, not your brothers' - stick with it and others will see the changes in you

D
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