PrettyAngelDove

Last night I was (my first day here) I was turned into a fool. Today however revealed that people that use this app. *Do* know me, in person.

I trust noone really although a member here was put me on the spot to "Tell her about myself" rather then saying "Hey, we share the same birthday, let me tell you a little about myself!" So I would feel comfortable.

My question is how do I know that this isn't someone I personally know and that "she" wasn't just going to run with my info.?

How do you guys open up and trust to this site?

Soberpotamus

If there are people on here who know me and they've taken pains to track me down here... power to them. Lol. They've got bigger problems than me if they're stalking me on a recovery site. I could give a rip.

And if they're here because they need help, then, power to them for that as well

ANewDayNYC

It’s up to you to choose to trust. There is no need to post anything you don’t feel comfortable with. We are all just supporting each other to stay sober. In my experience, the people here are great.

PrettyAngelDove

Not sure you are following along here, * I * give a "rip"...otherwise I wouldn't of posted. So not sure you understand

Aellyce

Yeah I've had that fear as well in the beginning. And same fear why I was reluctant to use f2f meetings where I live, although it did not turn me completely down from them in the end... but I still prefer this kind of anonymity.

The thing to ask is perhaps: say, someone can ID your 3D life persona based on your posts here. How could that become a problem? You have the freedom of choice to decide whether or not you would want to engage in interactions that way. We can perfectly ignore those sorts of attempts. I have not experienced anyone approaching me this way here, but there were a few trials to get to know each-other by full real name, communicate via email, or set up f2f meeting. I admit I was also tempted to meet a couple others from SR that way in the beginning, but soon realized it's better to be super careful about this -- if for nothing else, in order to not spoil my own SR experience.

Now the subject of why "tracking us down" might be dangerous. So, why, for you? For me it's all about my profession... I would not worry about personal encounters otherwise. But still, let's say someone attempts to ID you. If you don't reveal it by saying yes to any such attempt, and if you keep all your information anonymous here, there is no realistic way how anyone could be of harm, really. No direct "evidence". Now if someone feels confident about their "hit", I would say like Jennie: power to them. And leave it at that.

So for me it was a decision. I was also worried because I don't think I've ever shared so much info and so much crap about myself anywhere in my life as here on SR. But it's highly beneficial to me. And the risks, for the reasons I stated above, are really minimal or non-existent. Some people are clearly more comfortable sharing more direct info about their identities than others, but this is perfectly everyone's individual choice and if someone approaches me with that sort of info, it does not mean I need to reciprocate the same way.

Soberpotamus

I understand, and I am sharing how I see it, that's all. We see it differently.

Not sure why you took one person's comment like that and twisted it and ran with it. No one here is asking you to share anything. No one here has ever pressured me to share anything at all about myself.

You are free to share as little or as much as you like.

SarahB60

Use a fictitious name and email account. Be careful with sharing any personal info either through posts or PM. Basically, keep your identity off the internet.

Impurrfect

The very-close people in my life know I go to "some recovery thing" but have never tried to find me.

I've been here for many, many years, and what I've found is that I have friends all over the world. I've seen people worry about whether someone has "found them" on this site, and the mods have done their best to protect them.

This is my space to talk about what is going on with me. I truly hope you find the same.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Getagrip

For me personally it has helped to read about other peoples stories just as much as tell my own.

It makes me feel that i am not alone and for probably the first time, people really understand the shame i have felt and my need to do something about it.

I dont feel that anyone here knows me personally, the group is worldwide and unless someone asks me my real name address and dob i really dont think they can know who i am.

Good luck in your journey and congrats on 21 days. Xx

Opivotal

Hi PrettyAngelDove,

You can protect yourself by not revealing personal information. I've been here for almost 5 years...no one knows my "real" identity unless I disclose it.

Rule#3

3. Breaching of privacy: Solicitation of names and addresses or other personal information for commercial purposes or, in the case of minors, for any purpose. Revealing personal information, including e-mail addresses, about other members that would identify them in the real world and which they have not otherwise made public online. This includes posting the contents of emails, private messages, private phone conversations, private letters, and/or any other private information that has not been shared on the forums by the member/non-member personally.


Do not post offline personal contact information (ie. your home address, phone numbers, email address etc.) and do not ask for personal information from others. Modify your member profile in the Control Panel at the top left corner of the forum to set privacy settings for your account. Use of full names (your first and last name) is allowed but strongly discouraged. This is to protect your security and identity.

PrettyAngelDove

I didn't twist it! Please don't make me look insane.
In black and white the poster says " why don't you share with us about you so we can get to know you?". You get to know someone from there actions and unprobed post...IMO.

Opivotal

If I don't "share" a little about myself...for instance... how long have you been drinking? How much do you drink? What are your concerns?

How can anyone share their experience to help you? I believe that was what the member was asking you.

Getagrip

I dont think the poster put that she shared your same birthday but she shared the same sober day, maybe you misread this as she knows you and was digging for more info, not just that you have something in common and would be nice to share :-)

PrettyAngelDove

That is posted on my profile...at least some of it, however do I really want to repeat saying it? No. The reason being is one, a A.A. member went all over my town to places of employment and told them I was a drunk and also on crack....so I do have my reasons.

sugarbear1

sorry to hear that someone did that. not sure what they expected to gain from doing that kind of behavior, sounds like someone really sick needed to get the attention away from themselves.

how are you doing today?

2muchpain

I don't think anybody wants to know your personal information, such as your real name, address, phone number, etc. Knowing that wouldn't tell me anything about that person and certainly wouldn't do me any good as far as staying sober goes. All that info. doesn't tell others anything about what you are about. Just knowing a little bit about "you" just helps people to know what they can do to help you.
SR is no different than Facebook or any other social media site. To me, it's just common sense not to give out personal information like the examples I gave earlier. I don't think anybody on SR really cares to know this information anyway. John

PrettyAngelDove

I am doing the best I can. I just got shot down from being sponsored at the Noon meeting by someone I know sponsors because she just started sponoring some I know and sponsors others but when I asked her the way I know how to break the ice ( asked her if she sponsors) she said " I do very little sponsoring and walked away.
I'm in my storage in the country today so I think I will be ok today. Yesterday was hard.

sugarbear1

Ask your higher power to put the right sponsor in your life. I hit a lot of brick walls, too with many saying "no" (they were too busy to sponsor more) and eventually found one who helped me a lot!

2muchpain

PrettyAngelDove,

Sounds like your being hard on both yourself and others right now. I know for me, this was pretty natural during early recovery. I was sensitive to everything I and others said and did. I began to relax a little when I realized my brain was trying to sabotage my efforts to quit drinking. I had to realize that I just couldn't trust my thoughts for a while. Their really not your best friend at the moment. Change is hard and the change you are making is a big one. It helps me to recite the Serenity Prayer a lot.
Just try to relax, be good to yourself, give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you have accomplished and try not to read into what others say or do. Funny how I always came up with negative reasons why people acted the way they did. Most of the time, it turned out I was wrong. John

Anna

Please read this regarding protecting your privacy. The ONLY way people will find information about here, is if you put it out there in posts or on your profile. So, it's all up to you. If you want to edit your profile and remove information, you are free to do that:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...predators.html