New here-scared of sobriety
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
i have just read a thread were people were talking about how close they came to death with drinking and how the fear of nearly dying was bigger than the fear of not drinking
i hope you dont have to learn that way ? as there is plenty of help out there so people should never end up in that condition
what stood out to me in that thread is how so very grateful those guys feel for being given a second chance at living
for me it makes me think of my little lad who was just 16, he didnt bring about his illness he got cancer and suffered an died with no second chance that is real life, its what can happend to anyone the same as drinking yourself to death
or does anyone think it will never happen to them ?
there is plenty to be scared of in life but being without a drink to get through a day is the least of my fears anymore
what really is the most annoying part of it all that no matter how much anyone tells or trys to show someone else just what can happen
they dont listen they dont take it in as there head is already convincing themselves there not that bad or there different
good luck to you and have a read of that thread and listen to other peoples experiences of just what happend to them
i hope you dont have to learn that way ? as there is plenty of help out there so people should never end up in that condition
what stood out to me in that thread is how so very grateful those guys feel for being given a second chance at living
for me it makes me think of my little lad who was just 16, he didnt bring about his illness he got cancer and suffered an died with no second chance that is real life, its what can happend to anyone the same as drinking yourself to death
or does anyone think it will never happen to them ?
there is plenty to be scared of in life but being without a drink to get through a day is the least of my fears anymore
what really is the most annoying part of it all that no matter how much anyone tells or trys to show someone else just what can happen
they dont listen they dont take it in as there head is already convincing themselves there not that bad or there different
good luck to you and have a read of that thread and listen to other peoples experiences of just what happend to them
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Somewhere under the stars.
Posts: 103
Originally Posted by leharris111 
Hi everyone...
I know I've had an alcohol problem for several years now. I think the culminating point was when my husband and I started talking about getting pregnant and I found myself making excuses for why we should wait so I could continue to drink alcohol. The thing is...I'm scared to give up alcohol and I'm SCARED to admit I'm an alcoholic. But I've tried (not super hard, but tried) moderation and it always leads to binge drinking or getting drunk way too often. When I have 1 drink, I always crave another one...Tonight is my second night without anything to drink and I am craving one right now...
Anyways, thinking about going to AA but I'm scared to admit I'm an alcoholic and keep thinking maybe I can do the moderation thing....although I'm also scared that trying to moderate rather than give it up completely will lead to excessive drinking again. Thinking I can never ever have a drink again in my life just seems so strict and not fun! Help and advice needed here!
I know I've had an alcohol problem for several years now. I think the culminating point was when my husband and I started talking about getting pregnant and I found myself making excuses for why we should wait so I could continue to drink alcohol. The thing is...I'm scared to give up alcohol and I'm SCARED to admit I'm an alcoholic. But I've tried (not super hard, but tried) moderation and it always leads to binge drinking or getting drunk way too often. When I have 1 drink, I always crave another one...Tonight is my second night without anything to drink and I am craving one right now...
Anyways, thinking about going to AA but I'm scared to admit I'm an alcoholic and keep thinking maybe I can do the moderation thing....although I'm also scared that trying to moderate rather than give it up completely will lead to excessive drinking again. Thinking I can never ever have a drink again in my life just seems so strict and not fun! Help and advice needed here!
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 251
Nail on the head. If you're not ready to make a change nothing will help. I would suggest seeking professional help though if you think you've been avoiding having kids just so you can continue to drink... Once a counselor helped me determine where I was I was able to attack the problem and I've been doing good so far good luck!
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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Originally Posted by upminer
Nail on the head. If you're not ready to make a change nothing will help. I would suggest seeking professional help though if you think you've been avoiding having kids just so you can continue to drink... Once a counselor helped me determine where I was I was able to attack the problem and I've been doing good so far good luck!
Why counseling? I believe isomeone knows they are a alcoholic or have a drinking problem and wants to quit, going to a counseloris unneeded to get you to the the rooms of A.A. . On the other hand if they don't want to quit a counselor isn't going to put a gun to your head and make you go... They will take your money though.I believe only when the person is ready it will work....other then that money is just being wasted.
Last edited by PrettyAngelDove; 01-03-2015 at 07:51 AM. Reason: Added
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Join Date: Jan 2015
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The reason counseling strikes me here is that she says she doesn't want to get pregnant so she can drink... Maybe explore that more... Is there another reason for not wanting a baby or is it true alcoholism only... I can say that my counselor opened up a world of new thinking for me as to the cause of my problems it's just a suggestion I never have or don't currently crave alcohol but I still can't break the habit of drinking and having something in my hand... This is totally different than the chemical addiction I had to chewing tobacco. The counselor helped me realize my true reasons and wrapped my head around how bad my "psychological addiction" was.
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QUOTE=upminer;5114139]The reason counseling strikes me here is that she says she doesn't want to get pregnant so she can drink... Maybe explore that more... Is there another reason for not wanting a baby or is it true alcoholism only... I can say that my counselor opened up a world of new thinking for me as to the cause of my problems it's just a suggestion I never have or don't currently crave alcohol but I still can't break the habit of drinking and having something in my hand... This is totally different than the chemical addiction I had to chewing tobacco. The counselor helped me realize my true reasons and wrapped my head around how bad my "psychological addiction" was.[/QUOTE] I believe she said she was a alcoholic and * if* you are a alcoholic you know this advice you just gave her is horrible. Alcoholics have no problem telling their self "well, I'm not a real alcoholic anyway" at least for this one...and it almost killed me.
Let's not try to convince her she's not please. That is playing with her life.
Let's not try to convince her she's not please. That is playing with her life.
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I remember watching an episode of intervention. I think the girl was a drug addict, but not sure. Anyways, she said she wasn't scared of going to treatment, she was terrified of going to treatment and failing.
And I think really, that's what keeps a lot of us sick. It sure did for me. The thought of telling people I was an alcoholic and going to get sober, and then relapse and be in a even worse position than before kept me drinking for a long time.
I don't really have anything more to add, then I hope you listen to people here. We have all been in your shoes, terrified of living without booze. But many of us have gotten better, a better life IS possible.
And I think really, that's what keeps a lot of us sick. It sure did for me. The thought of telling people I was an alcoholic and going to get sober, and then relapse and be in a even worse position than before kept me drinking for a long time.
I don't really have anything more to add, then I hope you listen to people here. We have all been in your shoes, terrified of living without booze. But many of us have gotten better, a better life IS possible.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Welcome Leeharris 
I understand your fear. I was scared too - on the one hand, of not drinking again, and on the other, of continuing to drink !
We are here to support you, you can try AA, and there are other recovery programmes too.
Just don't drink today.
Once you've been sober for a while, you might find that your outlook changes and the thought of sobriety will be comforting rather than a burden.
Glad you found us .
I understand your fear. I was scared too - on the one hand, of not drinking again, and on the other, of continuing to drink !
We are here to support you, you can try AA, and there are other recovery programmes too.
Just don't drink today.
Once you've been sober for a while, you might find that your outlook changes and the thought of sobriety will be comforting rather than a burden.
Glad you found us .
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Welcome, leharris. There's some great advice in the above responses.
For me, the 'idea' of giving up alcohol turned out to be far less frightening than the 'reality' of abstinence turned out to be. Sobriety is exponentially better than I ever imagined it could be, with genuine happiness.
Can you take a leap of faith and trust in the advice and experience of a bunch of alcoholics and embrace sobriety?
Lean on us; we are here for you.
For me, the 'idea' of giving up alcohol turned out to be far less frightening than the 'reality' of abstinence turned out to be. Sobriety is exponentially better than I ever imagined it could be, with genuine happiness.
Can you take a leap of faith and trust in the advice and experience of a bunch of alcoholics and embrace sobriety?
Lean on us; we are here for you.
I am sorry if I mislead you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 49
Thanks everyone! Yes, I do want to give it up. I decided last night that I can't moderate so I have to quit. But now I'm craving alcohol and its giving me HORRIBLE anxiety because it makes me think I can't do it...can't give it up. Today is day 3. The thought of living free of addiction and the control it has on my life is so exciting, but it's just these constant "AV" thoughts that I want to drink cause its Saturday or I'm craving it or it tastes good are really scaring me. Will they ever go away?
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Originally Posted by leharris111
Thanks everyone! Yes, I do want to give it up. I decided last night that I can't moderate so I have to quit. But now I'm craving alcohol and its giving me HORRIBLE anxiety because it makes me think I can't do it...can't give it up. Today is day 3. The thought of living free of addiction and the control it has on my life is so exciting, but it's just these constant "AV" thoughts that I want to drink cause its Saturday or I'm craving it or it tastes good are really scaring me. Will they ever go away?
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Alcoholism can seem like a very dark night. But in the darkness you find out things about yourself. Like your resilience, your strengths and your inner belief. Don't get overwhelmed by the word. Your alcoholism does not define you, rather it can be the gateway to the real you. You might be surprised to meet this person but you've been there all the time.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Leharris, welcome!
The cravings in the beginning can be pretty brutal. Everyone is different, so read around a lot for ideas of what you can do to ease the cravings. For me, a real Coke (not diet) really helped. I think my body wanted the sugar it was accustomed to getting from alcohol. And ice cream helped too.
I completely understand your first post, the fear and the thoughts about what a boring future you will have. Fear of the thing is worse than the thing itself; my favorite motto. And some of the coolest people I know do not drink; I'll bet you know a few too.
If you decide to have a baby, you will be so glad you stopped drinking! Babies and hangovers are NOT a good combination, believe me!
Good luck. I know you can do it!
The cravings in the beginning can be pretty brutal. Everyone is different, so read around a lot for ideas of what you can do to ease the cravings. For me, a real Coke (not diet) really helped. I think my body wanted the sugar it was accustomed to getting from alcohol. And ice cream helped too.
I completely understand your first post, the fear and the thoughts about what a boring future you will have. Fear of the thing is worse than the thing itself; my favorite motto. And some of the coolest people I know do not drink; I'll bet you know a few too.
If you decide to have a baby, you will be so glad you stopped drinking! Babies and hangovers are NOT a good combination, believe me!
Good luck. I know you can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Somewhere under the stars.
Posts: 103
Originally Posted by GotGrace
Leharris, welcome!
The cravings in the beginning can be pretty brutal. Everyone is different, so read around a lot for ideas of what you can do to ease the cravings. For me, a real Coke (not diet) really helped. I think my body wanted the sugar it was accustomed to getting from alcohol. And ice cream helped too.
I completely understand your first post, the fear and the thoughts about what a boring future you will have. Fear of the thing is worse than the thing itself; my favorite motto. And some of the coolest people I know do not drink; I'll bet you know a few too.
If you decide to have a baby, you will be so glad you stopped drinking! Babies and hangovers are NOT a good combination, believe me!
Good luck. I know you can do it!
The cravings in the beginning can be pretty brutal. Everyone is different, so read around a lot for ideas of what you can do to ease the cravings. For me, a real Coke (not diet) really helped. I think my body wanted the sugar it was accustomed to getting from alcohol. And ice cream helped too.
I completely understand your first post, the fear and the thoughts about what a boring future you will have. Fear of the thing is worse than the thing itself; my favorite motto. And some of the coolest people I know do not drink; I'll bet you know a few too.
If you decide to have a baby, you will be so glad you stopped drinking! Babies and hangovers are NOT a good combination, believe me!
Good luck. I know you can do it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 49
Thank you so much for your encouragement! Last night I made the decision to give up alcohol forever! And today I could hear my AV telling me I can't do it, I'm not 100% ready, etc. Because I see people say all the time "you have to be 100% ready and want to give it up forever". Well I'm not the best at making decisions in the first place and thinking about anything forever freaks
Me out. I've realized that the thing that is the most scary is not that I have to live without alcoh (over the past 24 hours I've realized that's fine and I will be happier/healthier) but scared I'm going to fail bc I'm not 100% committed! I am though, it's just my AV voice that isn't! I'm terrified to "relapse" or whatever and end up that old drunk person whose kids hate her and husband divorces her. It's really terrifying me....so now the craving is gone and fear has set in! Ahhhhh please tell me this goes away eventually!
Me out. I've realized that the thing that is the most scary is not that I have to live without alcoh (over the past 24 hours I've realized that's fine and I will be happier/healthier) but scared I'm going to fail bc I'm not 100% committed! I am though, it's just my AV voice that isn't! I'm terrified to "relapse" or whatever and end up that old drunk person whose kids hate her and husband divorces her. It's really terrifying me....so now the craving is gone and fear has set in! Ahhhhh please tell me this goes away eventually!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Somewhere under the stars.
Posts: 103
Originally Posted by leharris111
Thank you so much for your encouragement! Last night I made the decision to give up alcohol forever! And today I could hear my AV telling me I can't do it, I'm not 100% ready, etc. Because I see people say all the time "you have to be 100% ready and want to give it up forever". Well I'm not the best at making decisions in the first place and thinking about anything forever freaks
Me out. I've realized that the thing that is the most scary is not that I have to live without alcoh (over the past 24 hours I've realized that's fine and I will be happier/healthier) but scared I'm going to fail bc I'm not 100% committed! I am though, it's just my AV voice that isn't! I'm terrified to "relapse" or whatever and end up that old drunk person whose kids hate her and husband divorces her. It's really terrifying me....so now the craving is gone and fear has set in! Ahhhhh please tell me this goes away eventually!
Me out. I've realized that the thing that is the most scary is not that I have to live without alcoh (over the past 24 hours I've realized that's fine and I will be happier/healthier) but scared I'm going to fail bc I'm not 100% committed! I am though, it's just my AV voice that isn't! I'm terrified to "relapse" or whatever and end up that old drunk person whose kids hate her and husband divorces her. It's really terrifying me....so now the craving is gone and fear has set in! Ahhhhh please tell me this goes away eventually!
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