Misc72

I'm 13 months sober. Hard work. Very frustrated that my son's dad and step mom Let him have champagne for new years toast. Do I confront them?

saudades

Yes!

Anna

Do you have equal custodial rights with your ex-husband?

What kind of an arrangement do you have regarding other 'rules' such as curfew, homework, etc.? Are you both on the same page generally? I think speaking to your husband about what he did would be the thing to do. It may not accomplish much though.

I think 13 is too young for a child to be given alcohol. If I were you, I would talk to my son and let him know that alcohol can and does cause serious problems for people, and that you don't approve what his father did.

Spacegoat

I would say yeah. It was that kind of 'a glass won't harm him, he is nearly a man now' lax attitude that was the beginning of a lengthy downfall for me. Speak to your son more importantly though. 13/14/15 is too young (from my own experience)

Soberwolf

I wouldnt confront and get into an argument i would respectfully & assertively tell dad that our 13 year old
son should not be drinking alcohol new years or otherwise

well done on 13 months Sunshine72

Mark1014

When I was much younger than that, my dad's friends would give me a sip of their beer if I asked. I know they didn't mean any harm, but I liked it.

Misc72

We have a highly confrontational and hostile relationship and if I mention this it will be war. I spike to my son about it. I can only hope he doesn't start chasing dragons.

suki44883

Considering that your relationship is so hostile, I wouldn't recommend confronting them. If you've spoken to your son and explained why you feel it was inappropriate, that's about all you can do unless you want to, as you say, start a war.

Misc72

That's what I'm thinking. I've expressed my concerns in the past to them. Obviously they are going to do what they want to do regardless so I may as well steer clear of another war.

Spacegoat

I had a long passage wrote out but managed to lose it, basically it was about how I went from the exact same thing at his age - the occasional glass on a special occasion… To then robbing the odd can from them. A year later I was out getting blackout drunk on the regular, getting in fights with men twice my age. Then along came the drugs. So this continued all throughout my teens - drink, drugs, fights, drunks, dealers, cops, and dodgies. It just went from one thing to the next. And it all started with those first few drinks...

I was in a special programme at school based on aptitude, so it's probably fair to assume that if I didn't abandon my talents in the pursuit of crappy artificial escapes from lifes problems, I would be a bossman now in a profession of my choice. Instead I'm a man baby. I haven't matured as an adult, let alone find success, and I'm not even happy most importantly. Only now I'm beginning to try and do something about it, with two kids and age 30. And like I said, it all began with those first few glasses...

So I'm not trying to scare you or owt but, perhaps it might make your son think, or your ex even. As this is what can happen when it becomes 'normal' to start to drink at that age. Its a slippery slope but, I would never encourage it to anyone...

Hopefully he will be listening to you. All the best

Spacegoat

^ Is it possible to delete my comment by any chance???

jryan19982

No, but you can edit it to where all you have is one word "delete" or something.

Spacegoat

I can't actually, theres a time window for that

Misc72

I would delete it if I could. That's one thing I don't like about the forms here. I've done the same thing and then had to leave it. Although your comment is very informational and I really appreciated the thought you put into it.

Spacegoat

Yeah theres been a few things too that I wish i could go back and edit. Just like life I suppose!! Oh well, at least thats something if you appreciate it thats good. It is true anyway, I got my act act together for a few years after that but still, I've had a lifelong tumultuous relationship with alcohol by now so absolutely- no, I wouldn't be cool with giving it to any underage kids especially my own. All you can do is explain the risks to him

Peace

luvmygirls

I think you've done the best you can by speaking to your son. That would REALLY bother me, too. One of my worst fears is that one of my sons will become an alcoholic like me. You're doing such a wonderful thing by getting sober and staying that way for over a year. Good job, mom.

JanieJ

You've done everything you can, Sunshine.


Congrats on 13 months sober, that's amazing !

Duffster

I hate to think that this would start a war between you and the ex but this is pretty much a big deal. And if it's starting now who's to say where it will stop? Next time will it be more than sips?

The lawyer in me wants to tell you to somehow document this so that if it happens again you can go back to the courts to amend custody rights. This is just not acceptable.