newpage119

I am having real trouble talking to friends and family members that are not sober lately...I am at 54 days now.
I have one sister that seems to only call when she is loaded....not answering the phone these days. Thank you caller ID!
Anyone else feel this way?
Do I just avoid drunks for a while until tolerance comes back?
Talk to them and get a headache?????

strategery

You're taking the right approach newpage by not picking up. Do what you need to do to keep sober.

Carlotta

I will be 2 years sober this month and I still don't talk to drunken fools (I have been known to hang up and block friends). I did not talk to them when I was still drinking either.
Some alcoholic just want an audience to their ramblings and it could be anyone anyway. You probably have better things to do than be held hostage to their nonsense. Being stuck for hours listening to them when you'd rather do something else is a form of enabling.

Mikie9

haha nooooo. I am not listening to drunken rambles. I asked an old buddy of mine a few weeks ago when he did this to call me back tomorrow, I was busy. I ended up calling him the next day and asked him why he never called me back. He had no clue he even called me... My time saved!

FreeOwl

I think of all the repetitive and utterly meaningless ramblings that spewed outta my head during countless drunken nights and I realize that the only things I will give my time to coming from a drunk is 'I am drunk and don't want to drive can you please help me find a way home?'

Or 'I'm drunk and I really want to stop drinking...'

newpage119

Thanks Carlotta! I just remembered that I stopped taking those calls when I was still drinking....
It is just much worse now! Any call after 8 pm goes to voice mail!

hokey

I was exactly the same way, newpage. I find my tolerance has gotten marginally better with some sober time, but I still carefully screen evening calls. My sobriety is worth more to me than upsetting a drunk friend. Selfish? Perhaps ...

biminiblue

Yeah, my ringer goes silent after 8PM, too.

ANGTFT.

Turtle82

No, as a rule, I don't talk to them. I don't like being rude and its just too hard to get off the phone once they start. There is one exception I make though. If they're going through some crisis or painful event and I'm aware of it, I will be a sounding board then just so they can get whatever it is out. But, I have to admit, I use it as an opportunity to plant some seeds.

Soberwolf

Well done on 54 days Newpage

No i dont listen to drunken rambles if they are about nothing

newpage119

Wow....glad I posted! I won't feel bad about not answering now!

Thought I was being a bit intolerant.... I am having NO PROBLEM socializing with people that have a drink or two....it is just the slurry, whiney, late night calls that drive me nuts! And the inconsideration doesn't help. Last night's call was at 11 pm and woke me from a sound sleep. And yes, I know it was NY eve, but I was tired!

ANewDayNYC

I think the best thing is to wait and talk to them the next day when they are sober. You can’t really have a meaningful conversation when someone is drunk.

angd1978

Gosh all of this hits home! I was that drunk that called people and whined about my problems for hours! Yikes! Glad to not have anyone call me like that yet in my recovery.

OklaBH

I was that person!

As a sober though I cant stand the obnoxious ramblings. If I happen to get suckered into it (some people dont slur) I tell them we need to meet in person. I give them time and address of the next meeting Im going to be at.

Hey, maybe one day it will work

Hawks

I listen to my sister when she's had a few, just because she's my sister and I love her.

It's only 20 minutes out of a day and once a month.

Do unto others and all that

She's the only drunk calls I have to field though, no one else seems to ring drunk.

JaneLane

I'm newly sober after relapsing. I am very introverted and screen calls constantly, however being sober makes it even more important to me! I wouldn't feel any shame about it if it's important to your sobriety.

ktwsober

Congrads on your 54 days. Agree with most above, I dont take drunk calls or deal with drunk text messages and if somehow I end up in a social situation with a bunch of drunks, I leave.

bunnezjp

Well, I can be an @$$hole on occasion, and I've partaken in drunken rambling (Sober) only to start messing with the drunk person. Some drunk people will believe just about anything.

Bunnez

Hercules

I have a friend who is deep in his addiction and he will randomly text me abuse and all sorts of rubbish, he is now blocked!!! Some alcoholics hate to see others getting sober and are full of jealousy!!!

JanieJ

I don't have the patience to talk to drunks any more, unless they are close family.

I get pretty grumpy at gigs sometimes...

We've all been there, but drunks can talk to other drunks, they understand each other better anyway !