enfinthechange

I must be so rubbish at staying sober, I failed again before xmas and thought it'd be ok, well not even that, I knew disaster was acoming, but just chose to ignore it, and drink loads coz it was the festive season, everyone does, right? It s my right to drink, yeah?

The disaster was last night, and I was so so drunk, and was throwing up bile for hours this morning, crying my heart out. I know I want to be sober, but I am bad at trying and not succeeding, so I seem to have just given up.

I truly want to end this cycle of drinking, as I always do, but everyone around me drinks, talks about drinking, alcohol is all over the the tv, the shops,

I reakon I'm destined to die a sad lonely drunk death leaving my children with no mum just coz I cant stop.

How can I go on. Well, I am not going to drink today, and will therefor try every day not to drink and hopefully , hopefully it will stick this time, I will learn to like sobriety.

Happy new year everyone, and I hope you are happy and sober.

GnikNus

Stay sober today. Stay on this site as much as possible. Read posts, drink lots of water, and did as many resources as you can to quit drinking. It is possible and within reach. You clearly want to quit and you see what would happen if you don't- so take those first steps.

enfinthechange

Thanks you. Just knowing one person is there is so comforting, now I'm crying again!

Soberwolf

Hi Efinthechange you can do this its ok the fact your posting shows you want change

Are you going mtns ? you could speak to your doc about group therapy via local alcohol services ?

Good luck and all the best luck peace & happiness in this new year

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Einfin. No one is destined to keep drinking, anyone that chooses sobriery and works at it can have it - you included. Perhaps you haven't tried the right thing yet? Have you considered local support like AA or counseling/rehab? Many times we need extra help to get started.

SoberLeigh

You can do this, enfin. You can absolutely turn this train around and get solidly on the track to sobriety.

Drink plenty of fluids today and eat small, light meals.

When you feel a little better, think about what went wrong yesterday, how you can avoid the same situation, how you can boost your plan.

Stay very close to SR; lean on us.

enfinthechange

I don't goto meetings, it would be quite tough. I am a teacher in a small town, everyone knows me... my mum and dad live there too. I would not feel comfortable with that. I could do with something online maybe if such a thing exists....

I know that makes me sound like a pillock, but being honest...

enfinthechange

My mum n dad are bringing my children back soon, and I am a mess. I am crying, my husband is in bed as his hangover is so bad... I am panicking my head off, my insides hurt,my head hurts.... this is truly awful.

Thanks for your kind words everyone. You are keeping me going.

Soberwolf

Try to relax Effin you have 24h support stick close to SR lean on us in the meantime try this 3 Anxiety Breathing Techniques You Can PracticeÂ*Anywhere - Self help for anxiety - @AnxietySlayer

ShenzyT

Hey Einfin
Sending big hugs to you.
You can do this.....
It's baby steps .... one minute, one hour & one day at a time ....
Lots of folks around me drink aswell .... we're in a small village in the North East of Scotland .... OMG - folks live for drinking here .... if you can't hammer down 20 pints, a bottle of whiskey & 2 bottles of wine in one sitting then you're not a true highlander !!! (not that I am....but that's the attitude of some folks around here ... some real hardened boozers here) .....
It's so hard to break away from it.....but you can do it.....
Stay close to SR - everyone here is fantastic ....... I don't have a lot of words of wisdom - but there is lots of support & advice on SR and everyone here is amazing.....and we all know exactly where you're coming from.

xxxx

Della1968

You can do it! Would your husband be supportive? There is AA online I believe. Be kind to yourself today and just focus on steps you can take and things you can change to not drink.

gypsytears

Go to a meeting in a different town.

Soberween

Don't cry. There is hope for you. Sometimes when the alcohol is still in your system from the night before, the fact that it is a depressant adds to your dispirited state. Once you are feeling better, you need to add some things to your plan to stay sober because what you are doing now is not enough obviously. I quit on my own and kept relapsing. I added several things to my sober plan and it appears to be working as I haven't drank in several years.

You may want to print out your OP in this thread and keep it in your wallet and if you find yourself in an environment that may romanticize the drink, take it out and read it. You can do this. Start living the best version of yourself because I'm sure it is great.

Conquest

(((Enfinthechange)))
I've missed you and am glad to see you, although sorry to hear about the struggle. That's a miserable feeling. I'm sending lots of healthy, healing thoughts your way sweetie. Stay close and stay hydrated today.

Serenidad

I'm sorry you are struggling. This disease is brutal and wants us dead!

What action are you planning to take to stay sober?. As much as I love SR, it's not enough for me all by itself. I need face to face support too.

AA? Another recovery group? Inpatient treatment? Outpatient treatment?

For me, I could WANT to stay sober and ALWAYS made promises to quit forever (especially when I was hungover) but until I took action and started doing something different, nothing changed.

Good luck to you. You will be in my prayers.

Serenidad

I agree with gypsy. Hang in there....

enfinthechange

Thanks so much guys, I am feeling a bit better, but typical enough thought of a beer, a straightener we used to call it way back when. No way . just no way. I have some strength, enough to get a month or two done, but then I get cocky and let the demon back in. Must be vigilant! My OH is going to climb aboard with me, we will do it together, just as we drank together. Its our whole lives, and the struggle with work and kids and not doing what we want to do, we view booze as a cheer up, but its not really is it.

and ShenzyT, I have hung out in Scotland a few times, and boy can they drink, so it must be tough for you, but I admire your strength. your life will be better .. let me know how its going, we can help each other! x

thanks everyone, my resolve is strengthening!

enfinthechange

I am going to look for face to face help too. I think I need someone to talk to who can see me.... thanks

matilda123

Know all about that cocky stuff, enfin. I, too, have thought I could manage a few drinks here and there, but the fact is that it hasn't worked for almost 2 decades--logic dictates it won't in the future.

We all believe in you, enfin, and know that you can do it one day at a time.

Sending you peaceful thoughts today.

Inchworm

I live in a small town, too, and have a position here that I really think would be jeopardized even by doing the right, honest, and ethical thing by going to a meeting! I have thought about the next city - lots of meetings there - and might just give it a go. SR. has been so very helpful.